Death of a Pet - Page 2

WVU alpha phi · #16 11-12-2008, 02:51 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. My dog Pepper died 3 years ago when he was 16, and I still get choked up talking about him. I completely understand and agree that it is like losing a family member. I actually took off work the following day because I was so upset.

My sister wanted to get another dog fairly quickly, but I was opposed to the idea. I didn't like the idea of "replacing" Pepper so soon. I think we got our next dog, Bella, about 2 months after Pepper died. It was so lonely not having a dog when you're used to coming home to one. It was a family decision and we all went to the shelter together to pick out a new dog. Pepper is buried in our backyard with some flowers and a little doggie tombstone, and when I'm home I still go out there and talk to him (it sounds ridiculous I know).

Bella helped the grieving process but each person and family is different. I'd definitely check with your mom before bringing a new pet into the family.

VAgirl18 · #17 11-12-2008, 02:56 PM

Thank you all for your advice.

I think that this may have been a blessing in disguise for the family. My mom also takes care of her mother with dementia while working a full time job, so not having to worry about a diabetic dog anymore is a relief.

I emailed my Dad and told him that we should definitely wait and see how she feels later on. My mom always gets in a "mood" and we know what she wants next by what she's browsing the internet for at night....i.e.: a new car, a lakehouse... maybe a dog will be on her list sooner than we think.

Scruffy is now in the freezer at the vet, awaiting the arrival of his casket that will be buried in my parents' backyard. As inappropriate as this may sound, I'm glad he has a lot of fur to keep him warm.

cheerfulgreek · #18 11-12-2008, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VAgirl18

Early this morning, our family dog passed away in my mom's arms. He was 14 and just like another family member. My mom hasn't stopped crying and my dad is pretty choked up too.

My dad wanted to go get another Pomeranian right away, but I told him that it was way too soon, especially when Scruffy had just died this morning. When my mom called this morning she asked me to never get a dog or a cat so that I don't have to go through this. I've been advised from others that getting another pet may be one of the only ways to fill the void. I think that my dad and I are going to get her a white, fluffy dog like she wanted a few years ago.

My questions are... is Christmas a long enough time to grieve? Should we even bring this dog in as a surprise or consult my mom who will probably initially say no, but be accepting later?

Thanks for all of your help in advance. My mom has been blaming herself for all of this and it was in no way her fault at all. It was just his time to go.

VA18girl, I'm sorry about your loss. I think Christmas would be the perfect time to get her a new puppy. No matter what, she's always going to remember that dog, but getting her a new one will help the healing process much faster. I think Christmas is perfect.

Please keep us informed.

christiangirl · #19 11-13-2008, 12:45 AM

It's different for everyone. I got my dog as a puppy--she was my present for my 10th birthday.

She was my very best friend in the whole world and she lasted a long time. We pretty much grew up together. Well, she passed in my arms, too.

It was horrible trying to say good-bye and I still miss her. That was two years ago and as much as I'd love another dog, even several dogs and talk about it constanty...not yet. Aside from being in an apartment where I can't have pets, I honestly just don't think I'm ready for another dog. Maybe in another year or so. My cousin's family dog died about 5 years ago and my aunt still isn't ready for another dog. Some people just take longer. I would say the three of you should decide together and you're right to wait until your mom lets you know when she's ready.

ETA:

Quote:

Scruffy is now in the freezer at the vet, awaiting the arrival of his casket that will be buried in my parents' backyard. As inappropriate as this may sound, I'm glad he has a lot of fur to keep him warm.

You are so terrible!

I'm one to talk. I had my dog cremated and had her ashes spread in a Zen garden in a pet cemetery up north. Yes, I know, bourgeois Californians and their dogs....

SthrnZeta · #20 11-13-2008, 03:14 AM

As many of you may know, I'm an emergency vet tech so I see a lot of death at my job. Grieving is different for everyone, I've seen people get a new pet right away and that really helps them. Then again, there are those who do this and then regret it because they constantly compare the new and the old pets. And then there are those who vow never to get another pet again. I think that final option is a bit overboard - you wouldn't not make new friends for fear of losing them would you? Losing a pet is part of the friendship that you have with them - you have to know that you will oneday say goodbye to them and that's the risk you take when deciding to open your heart to a pet. I sincerely believe in opening up your heart again, but only when you're ready. Cheesy but true.

The freezer comment was so wrong :P

As for the bourgeois Californians, I understand it. I plan to cremate both of my pets and may even keep the ashes in pretty urns, who knows.

honeychile · #21 11-13-2008, 01:46 PM

This is Luke - a 5-month old neutered male, current with all of his shots, well socialized Siamese mix, and free to a GOOD home. We'd keep him ourselves, but we're all allergic:

Being held - check out those azure blue eyes!

Luke posing at our front door. Note the "Ask not for whom the dog barks, he barks for thee" doormat:

Anybody interested? PM me, as he's currently residing in the Feline Suite of Chez Honeychile, and the other residents can't stop sneezing!

VAgirl18 · #22 11-13-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeychile

This is Luke - a 5-month old neutered male, current with all of his shots, well socialized Siamese mix, and free to a GOOD home. We'd keep him ourselves, but we're all alleric:

Being held - check out those azure blue eyes!

Luke posing at our front door. Note the "Ask not for whom the dog barks, he barks for thee" doormat:

Anybody interested? PM me, as he's currently residing in the Feline Suite of Chez Honeychile, and the other residents can't stop sneezing!

Oh, Honey! Only if my mom actually liked cats. We had one before Scruffy and she decided that after having a dog, cats were worthless.

PeppyGPhiB · #23 11-13-2008, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

It's always so hard to lose a pet. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I echo the advice that many have already given: your mom really should be involved in determining whether or not to get another dog.

Some friends of my parents went through a similar situation several years ago. When they lost their dog of 16 years, they both agreed that although they wanted another pet, they didn't want to feel like they were betraying Moses by getting another one so soon. They called their local service dog organization to see if they had any dogs that needed temporary homes. They discovered that that organization looks to citizens to help with service-dog-to-be puppy raising! So, they have been raising service puppies for the past several years, and couldn't be happier. The point of all that rambling: there are definitely ways to fill the void caused by a lost pet. Maybe your mom could look into some other possibilities before committing to the responsibilities (and emotional investment) of getting another dog.

My mom and I have co-raised three puppies for Canine Companions for Independence. It's a great experience, though I have to warn that it is VERY hard to give them up after nearly two years...that is quite a sad day for everyone. But if you're as "lucky" as us, 66% of them will flunk out and then come to live with you (your choice)! That's how I got my sassy-pants golden retriever Kirin.

To the OP: I wouldn't spring a dog on your mom. As much as that is what your dad wants (though it sounds like he doesn't want to wait til xmas!), it may not be what your mom wants. I would just leave it be, and I bet one day she'll decide on her own that she wants another dog. And it may not be a Pom that she wants...she may decide she wants a pug, or a german shephard, or some other dog. It's best that you let her arrive at that point without being pushed.

My family is preparing ourselves for putting down our 16-year-old yellow lab, who is just as happy as ever but is obviously starting to experience some pain. My mom has decided that she is going to hold off on getting another dog for a while, as much as we are a dog-lovin family.

SthrnZeta · #24 11-13-2008, 05:26 PM

Wow, Peppy, 16 year old lab! You guys definitely did something right, that's a ripe old age for that breed! It's definitely hard to make that choice though and I don't look forward to having to do that one day for my little Drill Sergeant.

On the adoption front, we have a young Boston Terrier puppy at the clinic we just finished treating for parvo and is doing great. She's so adorable! Any takers?