Not getting along with a sister- help!! - Page 2

crissy1 · #16 10-21-2008, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ok, but this is obviously someone you have already said doesn't like you and is mean to you.

Surely you didn't expect her to be like "Oh let's invite crissy1 to go see a movie?"

Some girls might be the kind of girls who invite people they don't like to go see movies with all the other girls. This girl is not.

But obviously this is not a girl who gets along with a lot of people. Do you really think she likes every other girl except for me? Regardless of how whinny posts may make me appear, I am a well-liked girl for the most part. That is why I'm so bothered by this: it's new to me.
The point is, she's on the social committee. When planning events and calling them SISTERHOOD activities, it is inappropriate to leave out sisters.
I really didn't want sympathy, I promise. I just am curious to see how other people in this situation may have handled it, and were successful. I don't neccessarily want to be friends with the girl, but I don't see why we have to be blatantly rude to each other?

nittanyalum · #17 10-21-2008, 12:27 AM

Why aren't other sisters or officers noticing this and calling her on it?

crissy1 · #18 10-21-2008, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Why aren't other sisters or officers noticing this and calling her on it?

There are a couple of us who have been offended by her, or have experienced her rude behavior firsthand, but we've all just kind of shrugged it off. What are we going to do, tattle to the judicial board? That seems a little silly.

KSUViolet06 · #19 10-21-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crissy1

But obviously this is not a girl who gets along with a lot of people. Do you really think she likes every other girl except for me? Regardless of how whinny posts may make me appear, I am a well-liked girl for the most part. That is why I'm so bothered by this: it's new to me.
The point is, she's on the social committee. When planning events and calling them SISTERHOOD activities, it is inappropriate to leave out sisters.
I really didn't want sympathy, I promise. I just am curious to see how other people in this situation may have handled it, and were successful. I don't neccessarily want to be friends with the girl, but I don't see why we have to be blatantly rude to each other?

In ANY group of women there is bound to be drama--choir, cheerleading, softball, ANYTHING. There are going to be girls who don't get along.

I'm assuming that if something is an OFFICIAL sisterhood, you don't need a Facebook invite to tell you that you can go. Just go, and have fun. You're part of the sorority and are entitled to be able to attend them. She can't tell you that you can't go to a sisterhood. Also, going to a sisterhood doesn't mean you need to talk to her. Hang out with your friends in the sorority.

crissy1 · #20 10-21-2008, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

In ANY group of women there is bound to be drama--choir, cheerleading, softball, ANYTHING. There are going to be girls who don't get along.

I'm assuming that if something is an OFFICIAL sisterhood, you don't need a Facebook to tell you that you can go. Just go, and have fun. You're part of the sorority and are entitled to be able to attend them. She can't tell you that you can't go to a sisterhood.

It's not official because its not in our dues. But technically a movie is a public event so I could go. I doubt I will though. I would rather hang out with people who like me...
I know there's always going to be girl drama, and I tend to be overly senstive about it. I wish I could just be like, "eh she's a bitch" and move on, but I always dwell on things and think about how I can solve them. But I've tried talking to her to see what her problem is and she said there is none...and I'm not rude to her, so I guess I can't do anything else but grow a backbone and do what ASTalumna06 said, when she ignores me, say hi, and when she's rude, act oblivious. My grandma has always said "kill them with kindness" and she's the most popular 84 year old woman I know (and a sorority alumna as well...)
My boyfriend said I should just go to the facebook invite, say I'm attending and say something like, "thanks for the invite!"
Or is that a bad idea?

nittanyalum · #21 10-21-2008, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crissy1

There are a couple of us who have been offended by her, or have experienced her rude behavior firsthand, but we've all just kind of shrugged it off. What are we going to do, tattle to the judicial board? That seems a little silly.

You said that official sisterhood events have been planned that you have not been invited to, so my question was whether other sisters or officers have noticed those situations, because that would seem pretty anti-sistery to me.

KSUViolet06 · #22 10-21-2008, 12:41 AM

In my experience, girls like that will eventually get over you once some new drama comes along and they have someone else to dislike. For example, she's mad at you now for "taking" the Little Sis she wanted, but in a few months, there will be something new going on.

crissy1 · #23 10-21-2008, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

You said that official sisterhood events have been planned that you have not been invited to, so my question was whether other sisters or officers have noticed those situations, because that would seem pretty anti-sistery to me.

Oh I see. I doubt anyone has really noticed because usually no more than 10ish girls show up, and I'm sure i'm the only one looking at who all got invited (due to my lack of invite). Also, I AM an officer so I guess I could bring it up but I'd rather not.

Also KSUViolet06, I agree with that statement (I dont know how to double quote whoops). I'm sure we'll have a mixer and someone will wear a color she doesn't like and she will decide to hate them too.

Also, remember how I said she wasn't active before? (she spent the last year on probation) She just got a tattoo of our symbol :O She's Susie sisterhood now I guess.
ok that was tacky of me, but I had to say it.

VandalSquirrel · #24 10-21-2008, 01:40 AM

You said she's defriended people on Facebook, does that include you? Maybe that's why you didn't get an invite?

Also look at it this way, would you go to the event if you were invited, if someone else planned it? You're upset by her treatment of you, but if you wouldn't go anyway, what is the point in wasting your time being upset? If it isn't an official on the schedule/calendar event, then move on. As my sister nittanyalum pointed out if it is official and you were left out, especially more than once then it is an issue that may be worth mentioning. I highly doubt it is official since it is off campus, alumnae aren't involved, and you said it wasn't coming out of dues.

If she's such a miserable beeyotch, why do you care so much? You say you have other sisters you want to be with, you have a boyfriend, and she is going to move on to a new target. Get off her radar and quit making yourself crazy. If you're not around her and don't appear to give a flying fart, she won't get off on your reaction and she'll be on to the next victim.

crissy1 · #25 10-21-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

You said she's defriended people on Facebook, does that include you? Maybe that's why you didn't get an invite?

Also look at it this way, would you go to the event if you were invited, if someone else planned it? You're upset by her treatment of you, but if you wouldn't go anyway, what is the point in wasting your time being upset? If it isn't an official on the schedule/calendar event, then move on. As my sister nittanyalum pointed out if it is official and you were left out, especially more than once then it is an issue that may be worth mentioning. I highly doubt it is official since it is off campus, alumnae aren't involved, and you said it wasn't coming out of dues.

If she's such a miserable beeyotch, why do you care so much? You say you have other sisters you want to be with, you have a boyfriend, and she is going to move on to a new target. Get off her radar and quit making yourself crazy. If you're not around her and don't appear to give a flying fart, she won't get off on your reaction and she'll be on to the next victim.

I know I know. I'm trying not to get upset about it. It's pointless. It really is. I know its stupid because I dont like her either, yet I'm upset that she doesn't like me...silly. I'm working on not obsessing I swear!! Also, flying fart= fabulous phrase. Alliteration not intended.

Oh and we ARE actually FB friends- thats how I know i miss the invites, because I get on and its like, "483209483209 of your friends are going to "Lets leave out chrissy1 night!" well its really like, 10....

KSUViolet06 · #26 10-21-2008, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crissy1

I know I know. I'm trying not to get upset about it. It's pointless. It really is. I know its stupid because I dont like her either, yet I'm upset that she doesn't like me...silly. I'm working on not obsessing I swear!! Also, flying fart= fabulous phrase. Alliteration not intended.

It's like that one part in "Mean Girls":

"The funny thing is that I could hate Regina George, but at the same time, I still wanted her to like me."

crissy1 · #27 10-21-2008, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

It's like that one part in "Mean Girls":

"The funny thing is that I could hate Regina George, but at the same time, I still wanted her to like me."

God I know! I'm such the gretchen weiners! Maybe I could just be like, "well my father, inventor of the hot pocket, hates you". If only my father did invent the hot pocket... In all honesty though- Im not a gretchen. I just dont want to be a lindsay lohan.

agzg · #28 10-21-2008, 10:57 AM

Just keep trying to steer clear of her - honestly I wouldn't go the kill her with kindness route because if she's rude to you after saying something nice to her it's just going to hurt more.

Just keep holding on - she'll find someone else to hate soon enough.

VandalSquirrel · #29 10-21-2008, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

Just keep trying to steer clear of her - honestly I wouldn't go the kill her with kindness route because if she's rude to you after saying something nice to her it's just going to hurt more.

Just keep holding on - she'll find someone else to hate soon enough.

Hold on for one more day...break free from the chains!

crissy1 · #30 10-21-2008, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Hold on for one more day...break free from the chains!

I mean, if I start singing this in my head every time I see her...I'd probably never be sad again.

"no one can change your life expect for you.......don't ever let anyone step all over you..." Carnie Wilson is so inspirational.