UT-Austin Legacy Status now a "hidden field"??? - Page 2

tootiepie2 · #16 08-21-2011, 09:24 AM

I hope so too. Her mother doesn't really think it is about the sorority. She is having a hard time adjusting to being away from home. I think she could definetly be a part of the psychology of rush study!!! She really had a hard rush and no one expected it because she is a great girl. I think all the cuts really messed with her head. It may or may not have had something to do with being a legacy. Her mother was hurt that she was cut from her sorority but wants her to be happy. She had said all along it didn't matter where she went as long as she is happy.

ZTAngel · #17 08-21-2011, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

i don't know if it is currently done, but i remember UCFADPi mentioning that at the University of Central Florida, that the legacy chapter can only see legacies to their sorority on the pnm list.

This is correct. It could be different now, though. We received each PNM's registration form. Panhellenic would "hide" the legacy info if the PNM was not a legacy to our sorority. There were other ways of finding out, of course. Either through recs or just knowing the girl (or knowing someone who knows her).

33girl · #18 08-21-2011, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tootiepie2

I hope so too. Her mother doesn't really think it is about the sorority. She is having a hard time adjusting to being away from home. I think she could definetly be a part of the psychology of rush study!!! She really had a hard rush and no one expected it because she is a great girl. I think all the cuts really messed with her head. It may or may not have had something to do with being a legacy. Her mother was hurt that she was cut from her sorority but wants her to be happy. She had said all along it didn't matter where she went as long as she is happy.

Is mom involved with B at LSU or B on a national level? "Involved with" doesn't always translate to "the chapter likes you." Just random speculation.

If B cut her and A took her, she may be feeling two things: 1) Oh geez, this chapter that everyone gets asked back to cut me 2) Since that happened, A obviously only took me because of grandma/dad's connections and they don't truly like me at all.

violetpretty · #19 08-21-2011, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tootiepie2

So instead of a girl being upset about getting a bid to a lower tier sorority she thought she was to good for, she had the opposite experience. We had to force her to go to bid day celebrations and my daughter called and told me she asked her to take her home ( A is my daughters sorority).

That's pretty rare. The same holds true for her situation, get involved and I'm sure she will have a great experience. Even if some of the members didn't want her, a loyal and dedicated member will win people over.

tootiepie2 · #20 08-21-2011, 05:10 PM

33girl, I think this might have something to do with it. Like I said I think this week really did a number on her. And yes her mother has been active with B at LSU. Not to the point that she is always there, we arent that close to campus but has supported them and she and her sister even hosted a sister retreat several yers ago. Now I am sure there is no one there now that remembers that but possible the advisors knew who she was. To add insult to injury I just found out one of the girls she wrote a rec for got in B and they cut her own daughter. I am keeping that to myself!!!
Unfortunetly Violet I don't think she is going to pledge. My daughter said the pledge director was going to talk to her but I think her mind is made up. But I really think there are a lot of things coming into play in this situation.

FSUZeta · #21 08-21-2011, 05:23 PM

i guess she knows that this might be her best chance at LSU. what a strange situation.

dgdramadawg · #22 08-21-2011, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

If you were a ref writer for ABC and a girl did that - i.e. omitted the fact that she is an XYZ legacy on her resume or told you to skip it - how would you feel about that? Would it piss you off or would you understand the reasoning?

I've been asked by girls to omit their legacies from my recs. This request often comes when a girl is going through recruitment at a school where their legacy chapter is very competitive (and I've only heard the request from girls who are legacies to a chapter through more than one family member). They are worried that other chapters will drop them because "Oh, she's a triple-leg to ABC" and they are worried that their legacy chapters might drop them because those chapters are traditionally very competitive.

I'm sure there are other reasons that girls might want to omit legacy status, but that's just what I've encountered.

tootiepie2 · #23 08-21-2011, 06:43 PM

Yes, FSUZeta, her mother and I have both told her this. Her mother is upset about her sorority cutting her but she is not so out of touch or selfish that she wants her daughter to suffer. This may have been a case that they really didn't think she would fit, but it could have also been that B figured she would want A which is what most girls would do. This girl is the type that would have chosen with her heart instead of with the crowd. I think it was important to her to share this with her mother. Of course we will never know why but it breaks my heart to see this. And honestly it is one for the books!!! Definetly not your usual story. In the end you can't force her to do something she really doen't want to do.

AnchorAlum · #24 08-21-2011, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

How does she know that?

She became close friends with some of the girls in that house; they had been in the same rush group, and in fact still stay in touch to this day, twelve years later.

FSUZeta · #25 08-21-2011, 07:36 PM

[QUOTE=tootiepie2;2082802]Yes, FSUZeta, her mother and I have both told her this. Her mother is upset about her sorority cutting her but she is not so out of touch or selfish that she wants her daughter to suffer. This may have been a case that they really didn't think she would fit, but it could have also been that B figured she would want A which is what most girls would do. This girl is the type that would have chosen with her heart instead of with the crowd. I think it was important to her to share this with her mother. Of course we will never know why but it breaks my heart to see this. And honestly it is one for the books!!! Definetly not your usual story. In the end you can't force her to do something she really doen't want to do.[/QUOTE]

no, that is true. at least she has been given good advice, from both her mother and from you. that is all you can do.

tootiepie2 · #26 08-21-2011, 08:04 PM

Just talked to my daughter she said she got a text from the girl asking her about the time of their meeting. So it looks like she is going to give it a try!!! Daughter is going to go pick her up so she will have someone with her. So glad she is giving ir a try. I know her mother really encouraged her to do it. Even if she drops at least she gave them a chance.

Drolefille · #27 08-21-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlum

She became close friends with some of the girls in that house; they had been in the same rush group, and in fact still stay in touch to this day, twelve years later.

So either they violated MS secrecy or they quite possibly presented a biased view to their friend.

Yeah that's totally reliable.

I'm just making the point that NO ONE who wasn't sitting in that room knows why someone is dropped and most people IN the room wouldn't be able to tell you later either unless someone really sticks out. Even then there are multiple perspectives - "would have made it but she was a legacy somewhere else" might just as easily have been "didn't make the cut and wasn't worth trying 'steal' from her legacy chapter"

Making claims to knowing when that violates every one of our organizations' policies (I'm comfortable making this blanket claim unless someone would like to speak otherwise) is irresponsible and sets a poor example by giving dropped PNMs an easy 'excuse.'

FSUZeta · #28 08-21-2011, 08:06 PM

tootlepie,

all right!! i have a feeling that your daughter will give it her all for her friend to feel at home!

AnchorAlum · #29 08-22-2011, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

So either they violated MS secrecy or they quite possibly presented a biased view to their friend.

Yeah that's totally reliable.

I'm just making the point that NO ONE who wasn't sitting in that room knows why someone is dropped and most people IN the room wouldn't be able to tell you later either unless someone really sticks out. Even then there are multiple perspectives - "would have made it but she was a legacy somewhere else" might just as easily have been "didn't make the cut and wasn't worth trying 'steal' from her legacy chapter"

Making claims to knowing when that violates every one of our organizations' policies (I'm comfortable making this blanket claim unless someone would like to speak otherwise) is irresponsible and sets a poor example by giving dropped PNMs an easy 'excuse.'

Reliably irrelevant.

How's that for blanket?

Drolefille · #30 08-22-2011, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlum

Reliably irrelevant.

How's that for blanket?

So don't bring it up, and we're cool, G.