How to motivate girls to go to social events!

[crescent&pearls]

Originally Posted by 33girl

You do realize these are parties for 18-21 year old people who often don't have a lot of money, right? And that the OP never identified herself as social chair?

You are right, 33 she did not identify herself as the social chair.

However, I think a lot of us have been to the kind of "mixer" I described..and we know why maybe only a third to maybe half of the girls in a sorority chapter will show up for a social with a fraternity. I know it comes as a shocker but not everyone joins a sorority just so they can throw down beers with the bros. Frat parties have their appeal but after you have stood around bored at a party where the girls outnumber the guys 3 to 1 more than once or twice, you're probably over it and will find other ways to spend your social time. We didn't have cell phones but I can remember more than a few parties my chapter went to trying to create better "relations" with a fraternity where I would have loved to have had angry birds to entertain me!

There was a time when having a mixer or exchange meant the guys provided the location and the alcohol, and the girls just showed up. Not so anymore. Risk management policies now require chapters to put a lot more advance effort into planning any event your organization sticks its name on, and since the girls now pick up a lot more of the tab, it's fair for them to set some expectations so that their money gets used to put on an event everyone can enjoy- including everyone who isn't drinking alcohol, which is too often the only thing that anyone puts effort into when it comes to planning a social event! It doesn't take a lot of money to put on a good social event, no matter what the age of the guests. It does take some creativity and good party 'host' skills.

[IndianaSigKap]

If the OP is part of a colony, as I gathered from the post, it could be that the chapter members are older. The majority of them could be 21 and at bars/clubs. I know that in my chapter, once members turned 21 they attended fewer Greek social events. Not sure if this could be part of the issue. And like the post above, quite possibly the social events aren't of that much interest to the members.

[preciousjeni]

Lane swerving with a couple questions that have no relation to the OP's situation. Is it common to have alcohol at mixers? Also, what's the purpose of mixers between fraternities and sororities? I'm asking legitimately as I've never attended one.

[DubaiSis]

There are a few things that concern me about this OP, beyond the incorrect use of apart. A new chapter should be filled to popping with girls who are super excited about everything the sorority has to offer. Burn out and lack of enthusiasm shouldn't arrive for years, especially if nationals is still actively involved in their day to day processes. First I'd say if you're having a mixer every weekend, you're probably over-scheduled. You don't have to say yes to every fraternity that asks. Second, I'd tell the girls to suck it up. When you pledged your sorority, you also joined a Greek System, and that means obligation to the whole campus. Again, suck it up. And if this colony or new chapter pledged a group of gals who have no interest in the social aspect of Greek life (which I find very perplexing) I think they may need to do some quick-fire adjustments to their MS.

[FSUZeta]

33, i am not up on social event protocol, i am the recruitment adviser, and i don't swerve into the domain of the day to day chapter function, unless needed :-) !

my best guess would be "it depends"-it depends on how the awards/punishment system is set up in the chapter-if it is in their bylaws that every member has to attend any socials/mixers/exchanges/whatever they call it for at least 30 minutes or an hour, then they have to. if they have a point system, then usually after they have met their points they are not obligated to attend anything else for the rest of the semester except mandatory things, and even if they have not met their points, they can pick and choose which events they attend, as long as they meet the point requirement by the deadline.

we need a lot more information before we can really help this young woman. maybe she will come back and let us know how many events(sisterhood, fundraisers, socials, dinners, etc.) the chapter has scheduled per week. she needs to tell us the type of social events she is referring to. she needs to let us know if they use a points system or fines, or nothing.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

33, i am not up on social event protocol, i am the recruitment adviser, and i don't swerve into the domain of the day to day chapter function, unless needed :-) !

my best guess would be "it depends"-it depends on how the awards/punishment system is set up in the chapter-if it is in their bylaws that every member has to attend any socials/mixers/exchanges/whatever they call it for at least 30 minutes or an hour, then they have to. if they have a point system, then usually after they have met their points they are not obligated to attend anything else for the rest of the semester except mandatory things, and even if they have not met their points, they can pick and choose which events they attend, as long as they meet the point requirement by the deadline.

we need a lot more information before we can really help this young woman. maybe she will come back and let us know how many events(sisterhood, fundraisers, socials, dinners, etc.) the chapter has scheduled per week. she needs to tell us the type of social events she is referring to. she needs to let us know if they use a points system or fines, or nothing.

I think the larger problem is that it will be obvious to the fraternity men that the women don't want to be there.

[ZTAmazing13]

so a lot of people are saying I wasnt clear so heres some more info, our sophmore class all goes out, but we only have 15 in that class...but we have a huge junior class that refuses to go or do anything. We wont have pledges for another few months. And we have trouble getting these girls to go to anything!! including regular parties with frats that arent dry and it doesnt even matter which frat it is!! Some frats are refusing to party with us and the situation is just getting worse and worse ever day

[FSUZeta]

are these events where your chapter and a fraternity have a party? or are you meeting up with fraternity members at a bar? is it a designated chapter activity(on your calendar) or is it just sort of understood that you all will be at jack's bar on thursday night and the abc fraternity will be there too? how often are these get togethers? are the events mandatory?

have you talked to your officers or with the juniors to see what the deal is? do these juniors go to sisterhood events, fundraisers and philanthropy events? is it literally every junior that does not do the social thing?

does your chapter issue fines for non-participation in mandatory events or do you have a points system?

[southernbelle14]

Okay I have read this thread like five times. And, ZTAmazing, please tell me if I'm wrong, but what I gather is that these girls are not going out to bars or frat parties... is this correct? if this is right, STOP ASKING ABOUT MIXERS. No one really cares about mixers. The frats don't care anyway. They do care about their regular parties though. If these girls aren't going out, then the fraternities are going to know them as the boring antisocial girls. And they will not want to have mixers with them.
I suggest maybe inviting some of the juniors to dinner before a party. Maybe arrange a pregame somewhere and bug them about going. If they feel wanted they may be more likely to show up. Then have everyone go to the party together, including them. This might not work, but it's a possibility.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Okay I have read this thread like five times. And, ZTAmazing, please tell me if I'm wrong, but what I gather is that these girls are not going out to bars or frat parties... is this correct? if this is right, STOP ASKING ABOUT MIXERS. No one really cares about mixers. The frats don't care anyway. They do care about their regular parties though. If these girls aren't going out, then the fraternities are going to know them as the boring antisocial girls. And they will not want to have mixers with them.

If this is how things are at your school, fine.. but don't assume that's how it is everywhere. Trust me, many fraternities DO care when you don't show up to their mixers.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

If this is how things are at your school, fine.. but don't assume that's how it is everywhere. Trust me, many fraternities DO care when you don't show up to their mixers.

Well, yes, if they show up they want the girls to show up. But in general, guys don't care if they never have mixers. They'd prefer to just have huge parties with as many girls as they can get.
And seriously, read her posts again. It never says mixers or date parties. it says PARTIES. When people say parties, they generally mean just that.

[WaterChild]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, yes, if they show up they want the girls to show up. But in general, guys don't care if they never have mixers. They'd prefer to just have huge parties with as many girls as they can get.
And seriously, read her posts again. It never says mixers or date parties. it says PARTIES. When people say parties, they generally mean just that.

So, you know what ALL guys want, at all types of schools, all over the country? Campus cultures vary.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by WaterChild

So, you know what ALL guys want, at all types of schools, all over the country? Campus cultures vary.

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

There was a time when having a mixer or exchange meant the guys provided the location and the alcohol, and the girls just showed up. Not so anymore. Risk management policies now require chapters to put a lot more advance effort into planning any event your organization sticks its name on, and since the girls now pick up a lot more of the tab, it's fair for them to set some expectations so that their money gets used to put on an event everyone can enjoy- including everyone who isn't drinking alcohol, which is too often the only thing that anyone puts effort into when it comes to planning a social event! It doesn't take a lot of money to put on a good social event, no matter what the age of the guests. It does take some creativity and good party 'host' skills.

In my dino-experience, girls always paid for half of everything (even if it was under the table). This is yet another reason why the NPC groups' rules on alcohol blow and foster a culture of inequality between males and females. At any rate, mixers were always a mutually planned deal - theme, location, etc. This isn't "new."

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

Translation: My sorority can't get guys to mix with us or come to our date parties and/or I don't get any play at them, so I'm going to act like they're irrelevant. Just calling it like I see it.

As far as the original post, I agree w/ DubaiSis. These girls joined a Greek SYSTEM. Suck it up and do what is expected. If you can't do that, either have some really amazing input to change it or drop out.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Translation: My sorority can't get guys to mix with us or come to our date parties and/or I don't get any play at them, so I'm going to act like they're irrelevant. Just calling it like I see it..

The guys generally show up. Just no one is nearly as excited about it as normal frat parties.
But like I said, I'm pretty sure this girl is speaking of normal parties.