How to motivate girls to go to social events!

[southernbelle14]

Okay I have read this thread like five times. And, ZTAmazing, please tell me if I'm wrong, but what I gather is that these girls are not going out to bars or frat parties... is this correct? if this is right, STOP ASKING ABOUT MIXERS. No one really cares about mixers. The frats don't care anyway. They do care about their regular parties though. If these girls aren't going out, then the fraternities are going to know them as the boring antisocial girls. And they will not want to have mixers with them.
I suggest maybe inviting some of the juniors to dinner before a party. Maybe arrange a pregame somewhere and bug them about going. If they feel wanted they may be more likely to show up. Then have everyone go to the party together, including them. This might not work, but it's a possibility.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Okay I have read this thread like five times. And, ZTAmazing, please tell me if I'm wrong, but what I gather is that these girls are not going out to bars or frat parties... is this correct? if this is right, STOP ASKING ABOUT MIXERS. No one really cares about mixers. The frats don't care anyway. They do care about their regular parties though. If these girls aren't going out, then the fraternities are going to know them as the boring antisocial girls. And they will not want to have mixers with them.

If this is how things are at your school, fine.. but don't assume that's how it is everywhere. Trust me, many fraternities DO care when you don't show up to their mixers.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

If this is how things are at your school, fine.. but don't assume that's how it is everywhere. Trust me, many fraternities DO care when you don't show up to their mixers.

Well, yes, if they show up they want the girls to show up. But in general, guys don't care if they never have mixers. They'd prefer to just have huge parties with as many girls as they can get.
And seriously, read her posts again. It never says mixers or date parties. it says PARTIES. When people say parties, they generally mean just that.

[WaterChild]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, yes, if they show up they want the girls to show up. But in general, guys don't care if they never have mixers. They'd prefer to just have huge parties with as many girls as they can get.
And seriously, read her posts again. It never says mixers or date parties. it says PARTIES. When people say parties, they generally mean just that.

So, you know what ALL guys want, at all types of schools, all over the country? Campus cultures vary.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by WaterChild

So, you know what ALL guys want, at all types of schools, all over the country? Campus cultures vary.

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

There was a time when having a mixer or exchange meant the guys provided the location and the alcohol, and the girls just showed up. Not so anymore. Risk management policies now require chapters to put a lot more advance effort into planning any event your organization sticks its name on, and since the girls now pick up a lot more of the tab, it's fair for them to set some expectations so that their money gets used to put on an event everyone can enjoy- including everyone who isn't drinking alcohol, which is too often the only thing that anyone puts effort into when it comes to planning a social event! It doesn't take a lot of money to put on a good social event, no matter what the age of the guests. It does take some creativity and good party 'host' skills.

In my dino-experience, girls always paid for half of everything (even if it was under the table). This is yet another reason why the NPC groups' rules on alcohol blow and foster a culture of inequality between males and females. At any rate, mixers were always a mutually planned deal - theme, location, etc. This isn't "new."

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

Translation: My sorority can't get guys to mix with us or come to our date parties and/or I don't get any play at them, so I'm going to act like they're irrelevant. Just calling it like I see it.

As far as the original post, I agree w/ DubaiSis. These girls joined a Greek SYSTEM. Suck it up and do what is expected. If you can't do that, either have some really amazing input to change it or drop out.

[southernbelle14]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Translation: My sorority can't get guys to mix with us or come to our date parties and/or I don't get any play at them, so I'm going to act like they're irrelevant. Just calling it like I see it..

The guys generally show up. Just no one is nearly as excited about it as normal frat parties.
But like I said, I'm pretty sure this girl is speaking of normal parties.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

Yes, don't listen to us.. Alumnae don't know anything.



Not putting in as much effort for mixers =/= not caring at all. And again, maybe at your school (and even the ones your friends attend) things are different. But I highly doubt you have at least 1 friend in every Greek system across the country, so please don't speak for everyone.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by southernbelle14

Well, no. I do, however, have an idea of what the average college guy wants, though. If you all want to live in a fantasy world where you believe guys between the ages of 18 and 22 care as much as you do about mixers and date parties then you go right ahead. And maybe some do. But I can tell you that around here, and at every school my friends go to, they put a hell of a lot more effort into their normal Friday and Saturday night "frat parties" than they do to either of the others. Maybe the sample I'm going from is completely wrong though. I mean, ztamazing, don't listen to the girl who is actually in college, it's probably better to listen to the women who have been out of college for at least a few years.
Sorry if I offended you, ladies. I just call them like I see them.

Will you please quit this attitude? I get it-your campus does things a certain way, and you're incredibly closed-minded about the idea that things happen in other ways outside of the insular bubble you call "school." I'm sorry, but you're far from the only person around here who's a current/recent collegian. I'm pretty sure I can speak for what guys our age enjoy, too.

ZTAmazing, on MY campus, mixers are huge. The frats don't have that many "big" parties of their own, and since we have so many frats, they enjoy mixing with the sororities. The guys get really into it, actually, sometimes moreso than the girls.

[Heads up: my sorority has not had a date party since I joined, so I can't comment on those. If I understand correctly, you have to find a date and a costume? I can see why those would not be as enjoyable for guys. I'd love one because I'm a dress-up person, but I can't imagine guys getting quite as into those.]

How would I encourage girls to go to social events? I'm probably not a great person to ask, but I agree with the suggestion that you should ask girls what they want. Maybe you've been having them on a bad day or an inconvenient time (there is such a thing as a particularly inconvenient time-for example, if they're on weekdays at 6, maybe people are still in class). Maybe the location is not a place where girls feel comfortable (I know I'd freak if someone told me we were going to some locations-most of which are very near campus!). Of course, you can never please everyone, but maybe there are small tweaks you can make to make the event more attractive.

As for the junior class, find out what's keeping them from going. It may be something very changeable.

Finally, remember that you will never be able to please everybody, nor is their any way to guarantee 100% attendance at every event (you just can't. When you discuss attendance with girls, you'll hear some very legitimate reasons. For example, someone's job, IMO, takes precedence over social activities).

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by melindawarren

[Heads up: my sorority has not had a date party since I joined, so I can't comment on those. If I understand correctly, you have to find a date and a costume? I can see why those would not be as enjoyable for guys. I'd love one because I'm a dress-up person, but I can't imagine guys getting quite as into those.]

Depends on the campus, obviously. My campus had a tradition of "pledge dances", wherein the new pledge class would throw an event shortly after initiation for the whole chapter. Both fraternities and sororities did them, and the level of participation in costumes and such usually depended on the theme. If the pledge class did a good job of picking a theme everyone liked and really hyping it up, the guys would go all-out as much as the girls. One of the best I ever attended was "Psi Up-Saloon", but c'mon, who can't find jeans and a cowboy hat? By contrast, my own pledge class did Ma-Phi-a, and guys aren't all that keen on wearing a suit to go out to a bar.