For the ladies.. "Why aren't you married?"

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by BlueReign
Savvy Diva,

I'm with you on this....Buzz the f-- off!!

I guess why I posted this question is that I often feel like I have to apologize AFTER I had told somebody off for asking me an overly personal question in the first place.

I'm single, attractive, highly independent and often the way that the question is posed it's like "there must be something wrong with you" because you're not married.

I have been down that road before and have 3 children as a result. Now the question that usually comes is, "have you ever thought about re-marrying?" WHY? That is all the more reason for me to be even more highly selective in getting married again because I have little ones. Now it would be nice to have a hand to help in raising them but that is not the sole reason for me to re-marry. Somehow people (mostly men) find it hard to believe that I haven't met someone yet. (Well I have recently but I realize that I still should not be in no hurry).

I have to vent here because lately, I get this question almost daily believe it or not and I am sick of responding.

How bout the flip side of this. Why is it when a man is pass a certain age, attractive, educated, employed and still single it's ok? I have a co-worker who "brags" about this.

Bluereign startin stuff

In my opinion, there is nothing more disgusting than middle aged players. They totally reek of midlife crisis...I don't care how attractive they are, that is just too creepy to me. And you know they be tryin to get the youngest chicks they can find... Bleah Bleah!!! Can gold chains be outlawed for men over 30? Yeeesh!!

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
I have been with Mr. LI84 for three months (officially). Three months.

Already I have been asked TWICE when we are getting married. I just looked at those people like they were craaaaazy and said nothing, lol.

I'm 24, I just don't feel like I should be thinking marriage for a couple of years.

Next time tell them "When you write me a check for the wedding!!!" That'll shut 'em up real quick.

[TonyB06]

Originally posted by BlueReign
Savvy Diva,

I'm with you on this....Buzz the f-- off!!

I guess why I posted this question is that I often feel like I have to apologize AFTER I had told somebody off for asking me an overly personal question in the first place.

I'm single, attractive, highly independent and often the way that the question is posed it's like "there must be something wrong with you" because you're not married.

I have been down that road before and have 3 children as a result. Now the question that usually comes is, "have you ever thought about re-marrying?" WHY? That is all the more reason for me to be even more highly selective in getting married again because I have little ones. Now it would be nice to have a hand to help in raising them but that is not the sole reason for me to re-marry. Somehow people (mostly men) find it hard to believe that I haven't met someone yet. (Well I have recently but I realize that I still should not be in no hurry).

I have to vent here because lately, I get this question almost daily believe it or not and I am sick of responding.

How bout the flip side of this. Why is it when a man is pass a certain age, attractive, educated, employed and still single it's ok? I have a co-worker who "brags" about this.

This last paragraph comment really made me stop and think. As a single professional, attractive (so I've been told -- that ain't my holla) man, I've never been asked that. I suspect we don't get asked that because primarily we're the ones doing the initiating. It's been my experience that a sistah will let you know that your approach is welcome, but unless she's really really outgoing she's not going to initiate, thus we don't get the question you posed.

I agree that "why is a pretty woman like you, blah, blah," is lame, but it must work since so many of you seem to have heard it.

Depending on the age demographic in question, some topics of conversation may raise more ire than others. Typically, if I'm interested in someone I'll talk about some area of commonality, like the topic/setting that's allowed us to meet or something that appeals to me about what she's said or is wearing (tastefully done, of course).

...but I think this thread will be in my head for a minute

[lil_sunshine]

My reasons for not being married yet are:

1. I'm still single (WTH do I look like getting married now and I'm not even in a relationship?)
2. Haven't found the right person
3. God hasn't shown him to me yet
4. I haven't gotten ME together yet
5. I'm trying to move out of state first
6. Still trying to decide whether when I get married if I'll marry someone with children (not gonna be mean and call them baggage)

That's all I can think of for now.

[1savvydiva]

I got a new one...

NUNNYA!

@ Tony...many of have heard it, that doesn't mean it works. Many of us have also heard, "Ay shorty whut yo name is?" that doesn't mean that line works.

[lil_sunshine]

CTHU @ NUNNYA!!! I'd spell it differently, but people should get the general point. And sometimes when guys (not trying to call them men when they're not) wanna holla with them stupid, corny lines, like what 1savvydiva said, I'm tempted to yell out, "JAILBAIT!!!!" and speedwalk my way to my destination.

[stardusttwin]

My reasons for not being married yet are:1. I'm still single (WTH do I look like getting married now and I'm not even in a relatinoship?)

Usually that response brings "well I know someone"....and it turns out to be some buster who wouldn't even shine my shoes (you know mr ray with 4 kids he don't take care of (or who are almost my age) who's looking for a good woman to settle down with-or some guy who doesn't see how he contributed to his breakup and wants to have second marriage with me but no kids (one nut asked why I want to have kids so old-just because you had kids in HS doesn't make me old for waiting until I'm grown)!

Hard to get others to understand just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm desperate. I'm fine if it doesn't happen at all.

However, when someone won't let it go I then retort to "Since we're asking personal questions when's the last time you had a toe curling orgasm?? You feel the need to be in my business why can't I ask you?"-usually the shock shuts them the heck up!!

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by FeeFee
Next time tell them "When you write me a check for the wedding!!!" That'll shut 'em up real quick.

With at least one of the people who asked, I would be afraid that they WOULD, lol. Granted it might be for a $200.00 reception at the local Popeye's, but they would...

Folks crack me up...

[Strive]

I'm waiting for the right man to find me.

[jojapeach]

The first honest response is a milder version of Dave Chappelle doing Lil Jon: "What?"

Secondly, I have some things that I need to accomplish (especially the Masters degree) in my life, and being in a relationship may actually hinder that. If you choose to commit to someone in a relationship, you should recognize that a lot of time and effort is required in that commitment. Quite frankly, I'm not ready to give all of that time and effort to anyone. I'm 26, but I'm not in a hurry. My biological clock must have a silencer on it.

Lastly, I usually sum it up with, "I haven't found anyone worthy of my affection, devotion, and stepping in front of God to make the commitment." Most of them shadditup with an "Excuuuse me!" look, and I just .

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
Granted it might be for a $200.00 reception at the local Popeye's, but they would......

BWAAAHHHAAAAA

[starang21]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva
"Ay shorty whut yo name is?"

that doesn't work?

[lil_sunshine]

Originally posted by jojapeach
The first honest response is a milder version of Dave Chappelle doing Lil Jon: "What?"

Secondly, I have some things that I need to accomplish (especially the Masters degree) in my life, and being in a relationship may actually hinder that. If you choose to commit to someone in a relationship, you should recognize that a lot of time and effort is required in that commitment. Quite frankly, I'm not ready to give all of that time and effort to anyone. I'm 26, but I'm not in a hurry. My biological clock must have a silencer on it.

Lastly, I usually sum it up with, "I haven't found anyone worthy of my affection, devotion, and stepping in front of God to make the commitment." Most of them shadditup with an "Excuuuse me!" look, and I just .

This sounds just like me. The Lil' Jon imitation is fuuuuunnnnyyyy, the second point you made sounds a lot like me, being that I'm 26, I'm trying to obtain my JD degree, and I don't have the time nor the energy to devote to a relationship that would need consistent and frequent nurturing. And the last point you made is true and hilarious!!!!!!!

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
With at least one of the people who asked, I would be afraid that they WOULD, lol. Granted it might be for a $200.00 reception at the local Popeye's, but they would...

Folks crack me up...

LOL!!!

[the_riddler]

I have not accomplished what I've been wanting to accomplish before I get married. That's why I'm not married. Also, me and my beau have been talking about it, and we're not in any rush.