The importance of conversation/personality during recruitment

[Zillini]

Excellent post and topic APhiAnna, but I have to disagree with this statement.

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

OK, this is probably true, but given the college admissions processes I’d say it is safe to say that your GPA, activities and recs were probably very similar, if not “identical”, to the majority of women going through recruitment. Those were the vary stats that got you into your college of choice so it only seems normal to assume that most other women in recruitment had stats of similar strength.

Univ admission standards vary greatly from one campus to another, even from one college/major to another within a Univ. It is a mistake to assume that all PNMs are roughly equivalent in GPA, resume, etc simply based on the fact that they were accepted to that Univ.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

ETA: I think also part of the reason that conversation doesn't get mentioned as much is because it's subjective and harder to give concrete suggestions for conversation.

I agree completely. I also think the reason why folks here concentrate their advice on GPA, resume, and Recs is these are concrete things that a PNM has direct control over. We want a PNM to at least be on the same footing as the majority of other PNMs and not fall victim to an automatic cut.

Overcoming personality and/or conversational issues like extreme shyness, etc. is much more difficult and as said subjective. Yet these skills can be practiced. Regardless though, no one can control or predict those times when when a PNM and an active recruiter simply have a personality clash or have nothing in common. Those should be rare though.

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by myopicsunflower

Excellent, excellent advice!



This is VERY true. The goofy topics really do show personality, including what I would call "endearing quirks." These conversations also tend to feel more personal, even if the topics aren't super deep, and while you get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with these sisters, they also get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with you. Very good way to be remembered!

Thank you for posting this!

I think too that the goofy topics can work wonders but they have to be brought up in the right way. Say you want to talk about Disney movies...instead of asking a sister "What's your favorite Disney movie? I am obsessed with Disney!", which would look creepy, a better way is to steer a question into that area. If you are asked what you did the previous night, say "We took it pretty easy...my floormates and I stayed up and watched old Disney movies because they are my guilty pleasure." That way the sister can jump on the bait if she wants to. Or if you want to talk about vintage clothing, maybe say "I'm so excited to finally go to school in CITY! I want to figure out where everything is...do you know of a cool vintage clothing store? Those are my staples." If you bring it up right those topics can make you really memorable...if you bring it up awkwardly they are going to be like "Who the heck was that girl?"

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by Zillini

Excellent post and topic APhiAnna, but I have to disagree with this statement.Univ admission standards vary greatly from one campus to another, even from one college/major to another within a Univ. It is a mistake to assume that all PNMs are roughly equivalent in GPA, resume, etc simply based on the fact that they were accepted to that Univ.

I agree in certain cases. Obviously many schools will have a certain major or program that can be more competitive than all the others in terms of admission, and sometimes too the opposite is true. However I think a safe way to play it is to assume that your stats are par for the course so you don't rest on your laurels, so to speak. I also think that at the majority of schools in America, there is a firm "middle ground" where the majority of students will fall that has more or less the same statistics. Especially considering how competitive pretty much ALL universities are getting these days, a lot of the women will have strong stats.

[cali_gossip]

Originally Posted by myopicsunflower

Excellent, excellent advice!



This is VERY true. The goofy topics really do show personality, including what I would call "endearing quirks." These conversations also tend to feel more personal, even if the topics aren't super deep, and while you get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with these sisters, they also get a sense of what it would be like to hang out with you. Very good way to be remembered!

The goofy topics really helped me during recruitment. I talked to some of the girls about how I'd gone to a crazy carnival in Hollywood on Halloween and saw some people dressed up as Britney Spears. They had a bunch of different versions of Britney and the girls got really excited. Come bid day, they came up to me and said thanks to my idea, a group of them were gonna dress up as the different phases of her career for Halloween. That's how they remembered me :]

[myopicsunflower]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

If you bring it up right those topics can make you really memorable...if you bring it up awkwardly they are going to be like "Who the heck was that girl?"

Oh absolutely. It has to work naturally into a conversation or it's not going to work at all.

And people have to still maintain some discretion about what goofy topics they share. Some goofy topics are cute, but some are just too goofy (or straight-up weird) and would end up working against the rushee.

[violetpretty]

How many times have we heard of PNMs with excellent resumes and recs who have great conversations at chapters, only to find they are cut the next round?

How often do we hear of a PNM at an SEC school who has the "total package" (great GPA, activities, recs), pretty, great conversationalist, but is from out of the South (thus lacking connections in chapters) get into a "top tier" chapter?

My point is that, at certain schools, there are other factors at play, like legacy status and having connections in chapters, other than conversation, resumes, and recs. Not to mention, at these schools, every PNM has a great GPA, activities, recs, and is gorgeous.

Based on what I've read on GC, at competitive schools (SEC, most of the Big XII), great conversation can not make you, but poor conversation sure can break you.

Any SECers/Big XIIers, feel free to weigh in on this.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

How many times have we heard of PNMs with excellent resumes and recs who have great conversations at chapters, only to find they are cut the next round?


My point is that, at certain schools, there are other factors at play, like legacy status and having connections in chapters, other than conversation, resumes, and recs. Not to mention, at these schools, every PNM has a great GPA, activities, recs, and is gorgeous.

I agree. We get this alot from moms particularly. They say, "but she was a 4.0 student, had 2 recs per chapter, and was homecomng queen and played tennis AND fed starving children in Africa, how did she get cut??" Those things alone don't guarantee bids (especially when EVERYONE has very similar stats). They don't realize that they weren't there to see their daughter interact with the sororities. They need to consider that the conversation skills/personality factor also comes into play and that maybe their daughter didn't stand out in that area.

[KSUViolet06]

Felt like this was a good one to bump. APhiAnna was spot on.

[Splash]

Don't dominate the conversation, but don't let her (the sorority girl) steer it entirely either. Make sure there is a good mix of back and forth so you both get a feel for each other.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping because I think it's a good read.

[honeychile]

I remember someone once saying that everyone should have at least three funny stories and one cute story that they can tell anyone.

[arrowlady]

Originally Posted by honeychile

I remember someone once saying that everyone should have at least three funny stories and one cute story that they can tell anyone.

That is great advice! My dad told me this when I went off to Rush many moons ago! It was very helpful.

[honeychile]

Not about conversation, but Dale Carnegie advises that you wear your nametag on your right side. The reasoning is that you extend your right hand to shake hands, and it's easier to see that way.

[victoriana]

Thanks for all of the great suggestions. This is something I'm happy to know now, because no one had really mentioned it to me. Hopefully I can use these ideas next week when recruitment starts

[rollthedice]

Zumba was really popular. I just started doing it this year and when the girls at different houses asked what I was involved in and what kind of activities I did, a lot of them were really excited to talk about Zumba with me. It was great.

Having funny and cute stories can be super helpful too. I injured myself in a funny way and that was a great conversation starter since everyone asked what happened.