The Monogamy Gap

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

From what I read it seems like he interviewed English men so I wonder if it's more culturally based? I'd say about 60-70% of the guys I know have cheated on a partner at one time or another, more so here in TX than in MI. There just doesn't seem to be much stigma about infidelity with the guys down here. I've had some people that I'm not very close with either brag about cheating on their wife to even asking me if they could use my place to bring their "dates" to since I live alone. Seriously...

Oh great.. My boyfriend is from Texas...

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

And if someone was never able to "explore" and date many different people, and they get married young, or have been in a 6-year relationship that started in high school, they might one day wonder, "what did I miss out on?" .. Which could lead them to try and find out.

But again.. Everyone is different.

I've been seeing so much of this. Most of the people I know from HS who got married without going to college, or even living on their own, are divorced. Most were divorced by the time they were 25. There's a lot to be said for exploring the outside world and making sure you don't miss out on a lot of awesome experiences and people.

It's been my experience that women succumb to the early marriage pressure more than men do, and they're the ones who end up wondering what they missed out on and experimenting.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I've been seeing so much of this. Most of the people I know from HS who got married without going to college, or even living on their own, are divorced. Most were divorced by the time they were 25. There's a lot to be said for exploring the outside world and making sure you don't miss out on a lot of awesome experiences and people.

It's been my experience that women succumb to the early marriage pressure more than men do, and they're the ones who end up wondering what they missed out on and experimenting.

Then they end up being 25/26/27 and sort of "socially stunted" if you will, because they didn't get to do what most of us were doing at 19/20/21, and are trying to do it now.

Example: A girl I went to HS with got married at 19 and had a kid. She got divorced recently at 26.

Her Facebook is all "OMMGGGGG kegstands/kissing randoms/jello shotz" with her 21 year old co-workers.

Why? Because she missed out the no responsibilities partying time that my friends and I have already had at 20. While we were having fun, she was being a parent. So she's trying to live that now, with an 8 year old kid. And it's tacky.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Then they end up being 25/26/27 and sort of "socially stunted" if you will, because they didn't get to do what most of us were doing at 19/20/21, and are trying to do it now.

Example: A girl I went to HS with got married at 19 and had a kid. She got divorced recently at 26.

Her Facebook is all "OMMGGGGG kegstands/kissing randoms/jello shotz" with her 21 year old co-workers.

Why? Because she missed out the no responsibilities partying time that my friends and I have already had at 20. While we were having fun, she was being a parent. So she's trying to live that now, with an 8 year old kid. And it's tacky.

Fun doesn't end when you have kids. I know happily married parents that do these things occasionally (except the kissing randoms). If she wants to go out and do those things, and does them with people who keep her safe, fine - better that she gets her yayas out than sits at home resenting her child. I find people who desert longtime friends and make their husbands a distant #2 after they have children far "tackier."

[KSUViolet06]

Obviously I'm not saying you're NOT supposed to have fun. Or never ever do any of those thing EVER after college. And I'd never suggest that one should sit at home with said kid all day and abandon all friends (not sure why you'd think that.)

I'm just saying that you can definitely tell that she's living out what were supposed to be her "college years" now. As someone who has been there done that (in college), it's obvious that she's trying to catch up (socially) on what she missed out on, and I find it uber unfortunate.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Obviously I'm not saying you're NOT supposed to have fun. Or never ever do any of those thing EVER after college. And I'd never suggest that one should sit at home with said kid all day and abandon all friends (not sure why you'd think that.)

I'm just saying that you can definitely tell that she's living out what were supposed to be her "college years" now. As someone who has been there done that (in college), it's obvious that she's trying to catch up (socially) on what she missed out on, and I find it uber unfortunate.

And in family court, parents are held accountable for not acting like parents. Seeing so many mothers shocked that they might lose custody because they decided the double standard no longer exists anymore.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

And in family court, parents are held accountable for not acting like parents. Seeing so many mothers shocked that they might lose custody because they decided the double standard no longer exists anymore.

Not acting like parents = not making sure your child is well taken care of at all times, either by you or a trustworthy relative, friend or employee.

Period.