Schools where you absolutely positively need recs

[Titchou]

IF that's the only way you attempted to get recommendations, you're up the proverbial creek. You could try to find out which groups followed thru and sent them but if you haven't done anything towards getting the others, it's going to be tough

[PNM128]

Titchou,

I also directly contacted a few women by email towards the beginning of June as well and a couple of women that I knew personally. However, the amount of responses I got and women that I personally knew did not nearly cover all the sororities (17) and I strove for at least one per sorority, so thats why I went through my local alumnae group.

[npkurtz]

i am going to be rushing at ole miss and still need a few more rec letters from pi beta phi or kappa delta and kappa kappa gamma if anyone can help me with this please let me know

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by npkurtz

i am going to be rushing at ole miss and still need a few more rec letters from pi beta phi or kappa delta and kappa kappa gamma if anyone can help me with this please let me know

Posted in the Ole Miss thread:

there is an Ice-Cream Social for Potential New Members to meet with the Oxford Area NPC Alumnae. It's Sunday, August 19 at 1:00 pm at The Powerhouse on University Avenue.

Oxford Area NPC invites all the ladies going through Ole Miss recruitment to attend a brief social event to help find sorority alumnae recommendations, get a better understanding of what Greek life means and the benefits of going Greek.

Typically, asking for recs from strangers on the internet is not the best way to go and is often not appreciated by posters here. Just a heads up. Try asking the women who have already written you recs. The social might also help you.

[shesliketexas]

I have a question about recs. I'm rushing at SMU in the spring and need recs, and the NPC alumnae group in my area is not active anymore. The only other one near me won't let you register unless you have a zipcode of that city (Dallas), so I can't register. I've tried asking around but I only have a rec for one house, and all the other people I know that were in NPC sororities were in sororities that we do not have in campus. Does anyone know what I can do? Thank you.

[ComradesTrue]

^^^If you are near Dallas then you just need to keep asking around. You absolutely can not spit in the North Texas area and not hit a sorority alumna. When you find one, ask her if she knows others.

The chapters at SMU all have very strong ties in Texas. There are ample alumnae of those chapters that I assure you that you know one of each. Keep asking around- friends' moms, church, neighborhood, high school teachers, your parents' friends, etc. Go back and ask the alums of chapters not at SMU if they have friends that are alumnae of the groups there.

Good luck. It may take some work, but this is very, very, doable.

[Titchou]

Ask the people who were members of the groups not on campus if they know people in the ones on campus. Most of us know a lot of other Greek women....

[armywife]

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

[GeorgiaGreek]

Originally Posted by armywife

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

While you've said good general advice for recruitment (keep an open mind, etc.), I would have to disagree with your advice to not "stress about getting recs." It's not the end of the word if a PNM doesn't get recs for every single house, but at some schools, if the sorority doesn't know who you are before recruitment and you don't happen to be Ms. Teen Tri-State Area, valedictorian, and Nobel Prize-winning common-cold-cure-finder, you're more likely to get cut even if you have a great conversation. Recs are the biggest advantage you can get before going into recruitment, aside from having a strong connection with active chapter members.

No, they're not always easy to get, but they're not impossible. It's worth the effort. While your daughter and her friends may have had great rushes without them, they may have been exceptional PNMs, while the average PNM will appear to be...well...average to the other houses, especially the most popular ones during rush. A Rec letter may be the thing that keeps a wonderful girl who isn't an outstanding PNM from slipping through the cracks.

Summary: There is no reason to not try your best to get recs.

[armywife]

I agree with you Georgia Greek. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by armywife

I agree with you. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

Horrible, horrible advice.

You don't know that your daughter did not receive a rec by the end of round one. Please don't lead PNMs to believe this. You were not a part of membership selection during your daughter's recruitment, so really...you have no authority saying what you just said.

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by armywife

I agree with you Georgia Greek. Get as many recs as you can but don't go into rush thinking you will be cut if you don't have a rec. Before my daughter went through rush, we read all of the information and blogs and went through Greek Chat threads with a fine tooth comb and it was very overwhelming. My daughter rushed as a sophomore and in reading all of the recruitment threads we thought her chances were slim at getting a bid, so we contacted everyone we knew that had ever been in a sorority and got as many recs as we could, however, we did not get recs for every sorority. She had a full party schedule throughout rush and on pref night, one of her final 3 parties was a house that she had not received a rec for. Bottom line do what you can to obtain recs but don't think you will be cut by a house if you don't have a rec ... I have seen that on here so many times - "you won't make it to the second round if you don't have a rec" and that is simply not true.

You need to sit down and stop dispensing advice that will crater a PNM's recruitment. You are the mother of a new member. You did not sit in membership selection. Your daughter has not even done so. You have no idea what recs she did or did not have. Unless you are there when someone hits the submit button or drops the paperwork in a mailbox, you simply do not know. Many PNMs have recs they don't know about. Many PNMs think they have recs but the member never sends them. The fact that your daughter received a bid in no way makes you an expert in Texas recruitment or any other.

Future PNMs, please disregard this person's advice. It could cost you a chance of getting a bid.

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by armywife

Don't stress over getting recs. My daughter went through rush Fall 2012 at the University of Texas. We stressed out all Summer putting packets together and trying to get recs for all sororities. She had a very successful rush (as a sophomore - so don't stress about not being a Freshman either!). She was invited back to houses that she did not have recs for. I think a key element that gets overlooked during rush is having conversation skills ... make sure you brush up on those - be able to talk about all subjects and make conversation. Don't sit in silence. Some of the sorority girls that will be talking to you are sophomores and this will be their first experience being on the other side of rush, so they are nervous as well, so you will stand out if you are able to keep the conversation going and put others at ease. I am not saying not to get recs, but don't think you will get cut if you don't have them. Keep an open mind when going through rush. Don't have your heart set on one sorority from the beginning, wait and see where you make a connection. My daughter had friends that went through rush at Texas A&M, Michigan State and SMU - these girls had no recs going into rush and all had a successful rush and pledged wonderful houses. In addition, I have nieces in sororities at the University of Colorado and the University of Missouri and they have both said rec letters are not something to stress about getting.

This is simply horrible advice. The end.

[DubaiSis]

The thing is, you SHOULD be stressing out about it, in April or so. By the time you get to August/September, it's time to let it go because it's too late. Girls do get bids without recs, but why kneecap yourself? The time spent finding and getting to know alumnae members is valuable for a variety of reasons, and then you have that box checked. A chapter may like you, but your lack of recommendations might drop you lower on their list. There have been a million discussions here about the difference between being CUT and just not making it high enough on the list to get a return invitation. Do you really want that lack of recommendation to possibly put you as #105 on their invitation list when they only get to #100?

I personally think the value of recommendations is not equal to the effort expended on both sides and I wish recommendations went back to the days when they were only sent by alumnae who actually personally knew the rushees. But those days are past, and I would recommend to any rushee to play the game fully. And that means getting recs (even 2-3 at some schools) for each chapter. And do it early so that when rush time comes around, you can focus on more important issues.

[armywife]

First of all LadyLonghorn, I am not telling girls to not get recs. I am simply saying that if you do not know someone in a particular sorority and you are unable to obtain a rec then do not stress out about it. I have never declared that I am an expert at recruitment, but I did share factual information about my daughter's recruitment at UT and the recruitment of a few others at SMU, Texas A&M and Michigan State. I know for a fact that my daughter did not receive a rec letter for a particular house - we did not know anyone that had ever been a member of that sorority, so we did not pursue a rec letter. This was one of three houses she went to for prefs. I agree with DubaiSis and think rec letters should come from people that actually know the pnm. I think it is crazy that rec letters are written off of resumes that the pnm sends to complete strangers. As an alumna, I would not want to write a rec letter for someone that I personally did not know.