my rush thread

[KillarneyRose]

I've always wondered why the BGLOs place such an emphasis on discretion during their intake process, but after reading this thread I'm starting to see how that concept isn't a bad idea.

*edited because I can't spell tonight*

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Okay, there obviously are errors in the bid-matching process from time to time. I know that there was an error during my rush process, because I got a list of invites, and then two days later had to go see my RX's again to get a new list of invites for the same round of parties. THAT is a computer error.

What is probably NOT a computer error is when Patty PNM puts ABC first and does not get them, even though she was SURE that they wanted her.

[carnation]

Originally posted by stargirl725
This is true, but it can still be very, very messy. Chapter X won't know what invites this PNM is getting, and won't know whether she keeps coming back because she wants to, or because she has to. If a chapter believes the former and they're wrong, then they could be very hurt in the end.

Case in point: my rush freshman year. There was a house on my campus that wasn't very popular, and several PNM's would act DELIBERATELY impolite at that house in an attempt to get cut by them. I thought that was totally not classy, and I was always very friendly and polite at this house, even though it was probably my last choice. Well, I never was in a position to cut them, and I went to pref. Needless to say, there were some pissed off people at that house when I ended up somewhere else -- they thought i was very interested in joining.

Personally, I think that PNM's should be required to go to all their invites -- up until Pref. If pref night comes around and a PNM really isn't interested in a house, they should be allowed to cut it regardless of how many invites they have. It would save both sides a lot of stress and disappointment.

I agree with this. It's one thing to require a PNM to attend parties up UNTIL prefs. It's evil to make a woman attend prefs that she's not interested in. In my thread on forced prefs, I spoke about several cases I knew of in which Panhellenic had made rushees go to prefs they didn't want to.

In every case, the PNM was made to go to the pref of the so-called "weakest" sorority on campus. In every case, that sorority was devastated on Bid Day because they'd had a great number of women at prefs and then very few NMs. Of course, the sorority had no clue that their women at prefs were there by coercion.

I can not imagine the horrible feeling of having dozens of girls at prefs and then maybe 2 girls running up to you on Bid Day.

[sigmagrrl]

Carnation, we had that happen to our chapter the year we were a colony. I was a Rho Chi and knew everything the PNMs were saying about us and it was devastating to see my sisters faces, particularly when they had hosted numerous women at Preference. We actually went on to have two New Member classes of 25 women before we chartered, but it was a real blow to the ego!

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
I've always wondered why the BGLOs place such an emphasis on discretion during their intake process, but after reading this thread I'm starting to see how that concept isn't a bad idea.

This recruitment season, more than any other before, has drilled the importance of discretion into my little brain!

[sigmagrrl]

Back on track....

Any news pinklady23???

[33girl]

Originally posted by carnation
I agree with this. It's one thing to require a PNM to attend parties up UNTIL prefs. It's evil to make a woman attend prefs that she's not interested in. In my thread on forced prefs, I spoke about several cases I knew of in which Panhellenic had made rushees go to prefs they didn't want to.

You know how at some schools you can "regret with interest"? Too bad you can't "accept with regret."

I also think when the rushees are told that "if you follow all the rules and go to all the rounds you will get a bid"- it needs to be made clearer that it may be a bid to someplace where they might not want to be. That's a promise that is true in practice, but somewhat false in spirit - it's really not the same thing as getting the classes you want but not at the time you want them.

[Angels&Arrows]

I just want to say that the our "not so strong house;" the Michigan Beta chapter of Pi Beta Phi pledged 39 NMs, bringing chapter total to 128 members!!!! Way to go girls and congratulations on a successful recruitement to AXO, ADPi, AEPhi, AGD, Alpha Phi, XO, Tri Delta, DG, DPhi, Gamma Phi, Theta, Kappa, SDT and Sigma Kappa!!! It is always wonderful to hear that 600NMs found homes!

[Moxie]

congrats to UM on a successful rush!!!
also, to Pinklady, remember that this is YOUR choice regardless of the advice and opinions you receive on here. only you know your situation and feelings, and i totally support any decision you make. remember, there is always spring rush (if yoy have it) and next year! be true to yourself =)

As my final post here:
My feelings as having been screwed by the system were just that, my feelings. And as so, they aren't really up for you to decide if they are wrong. this is NOT a system that has been used for years and years, this is the first year testing a completely new system. My feelings were based on talking to girls i know in houses, the 3 rho omegas that i talked to when decided to drop, and other girls who rushed, successfully and not.

And for everyone else, yes i am aware it is a mutual selection so the girls in some/a lot/all the houses just plain old didnt like me.

[Angels&Arrows]

Originally posted by pinklady23
As my final post here:
My feelings as having been screwed by the system were just that, my feelings. And as so, they aren't really up for you to decide if they are wrong. this is NOT a system that has been used for years and years, this is the first year testing a completely new system. My feelings were based on talking to girls i know in houses, the 3 rho omegas that i talked to when decided to drop, and other girls who rushed, successfully and not.

And for everyone else, yes i am aware it is a mutual selection so the girls in some/a lot/all the houses just plain old didnt like me.

Pinklady23, you are right... your feelings should not be debated. I am sorry that you feel you were screwed by the system. I know three things from reading your posts and knowing someone local that as an active in a "stronger" house at UofM... .

1) Being a sophomore does limit you more than being a freshman. This is true at most schools. If someone goes into recruitment as an upperclassman, for a second time, with a low GPA or with few recs.. bascially a bit handicapped; then they IMO, need to want to be Greek, not just a member of a certain chapter... Otherwise the PNM will be disappointed. (I know this is not for every school... so please, there is no need to tell me this is not the case at the University of XYZ.. It is the case at many schools.)

2) This new system is being used at many schools and many PNMs find homes. It has had problems... chapters that always make quota, have missed it... chapters that never make quota are making it... The idea is to equal the system out! (I have mixed feelings on how well it works). Even with the old system, PNMs dropped when they were left with houses they did not like or they were set on being an XYZ and XYZ cut them... Either way chapters are pleding NMs every year and as I have posted elsewhere... the statistics have not changed that much, there is still an average of 75-80% PNMs that start rush, joining a chapter at the end.

3) I have to wonder if you really know how the system works with your comment "And for everyone else, yes i am aware it is a mutual selection so the girls in some/a lot/all the houses just plain old didnt like me. " I can only hope that you do not think this is why your top chapters did not invite you to pref.

Best Wishes!

[beachgal118]

PL- What happened really sucks I really hope that everything works out for you in the end!

My thoughts:
The system is a bad one. Rush is a brutal, almost sickening process . I think they should do away with it and allow girls to go where they want. Simple as that. One might argue, "what about the weak houses?". I would say let the chips fall where they may. It's like capitalism of the sorority world! I like this type of free market system! Ok, now y'all can yell at me I know some people will definately NOT agree with this...

[polarpi]

Originally posted by beachgal118
My thoughts:
One might argue, "what about the weak houses?". I would say let the chips fall where they may. It's like capitalism of the sorority world! I like this type of free market system! Ok, now y'all can yell at me I know some people will definately NOT agree with this...

beachgal ~
While in theory I think women should be able to choose the house they want to belong to, there's a part of me (coming from being a member of a smaller house) that feels that if it were to go this way, women may never give the smaller houses a chance to see if they really belong there. In my personal experience, that's probably what I would've done if I hadn't gone through formal recruitment and joined the house that I did. I was completely set on joining one house going into recruitment....surprise, surprise, they cut me before preference night. If that hadn't have happened, I never would've discovered how happy I am to be a member of the "first and finest" sorority around!

No system is perfect....there's no way ANY system could be perfect...women are still going to either slip through the cracks or get their hearts broken. But in the end, I believe that this is the easiest way for women to become exposed to every chapter on their campus....even if they could never see themselves becoming a member of certain chapters.

[Designergal3]

Originally posted by polarpi
beachgal ~
While in theory I think women should be able to choose the house they want to belong to, there's a part of me (coming from being a member of a smaller house) that feels that if it were to go this way, women may never give the smaller houses a chance to see if they really belong there. In my personal experience, that's probably what I would've done if I hadn't gone through formal recruitment and joined the house that I did. I was completely set on joining one house going into recruitment....surprise, surprise, they cut me before preference night. If that hadn't have happened, I never would've discovered how happy I am to be a member of the "first and finest" sorority around!

No system is perfect....there's no way ANY system could be perfect...women are still going to either slip through the cracks or get their hearts broken. But in the end, I believe that this is the easiest way for women to become exposed to every chapter on their campus....even if they could never see themselves becoming a member of certain chapters.

*APPLAUSE* well said!

[beachgal118]

Originally posted by polarpi


No system is perfect....there's no way ANY system could be perfect...women are still going to either slip through the cracks or get their hearts broken. But in the end, I believe that this is the easiest way for women to become exposed to every chapter on their campus....even if they could never see themselves becoming a member of certain chapters.

I see what you are saying. But when such a process becomes more detrimental (to many rushees) than it is beneficial, then it is time to reevaluate the system. I go to a school with a cut-throat rush, so I see it (and have experienced it)firsthand as well as through GC (certain threads concerning suicide, depression, transferring schools because of RUSH come to mind). I think it is great for girls to visit every house initially, for exactly the reasons you stated. But the whole idea of houses cutting rushees becomes pretty absurd when you start to really think about it...