Rush - What to NOT do or say

[PenguinTrax]

Unless you know the legacy policy of every NPC group, you cannot make this blanket statement.

Regardless, if a legacy is cut, there is no fighting it. A group cannot take very legacy out there - this has been discussed MANY times in the Rush forum. I recommend that everyone use the Search function to read up on the topic.

Originally posted by JocelynC
NO sorority has a legacy policy that guarantees PNM's a bid, most only require you to keep a legacy up until the 1st round of invite only parties.

[honeychile]

Good work, Barbara!

I know someone who was a triple legacy to a chapter (her grandmother was a FOUNDER!), and was cut after 2nd round. This woman is attractive, intelligent (4.0 in high school), made her debut, and enjoys a great reputation. They felt she hadn't travelled enough, as she had only been to Europe once. And I'm not talking about one of those mega-rush universities!

On the other hand, we DID have to take a legacy who nobody wanted (including the PNM). I think everyone's heard me talk about her, but briefly, she was a 5-generation legacy, with one being an Adelphean, but she just did not want to be in a sorority. She pledged, got initiated at Convention, and transferred to a college without a greek system.

The only absolute that you can say about Legacy Policies is that there are NO absolutes!

[ASAlady]

Originally posted by kddani
Does ASA's policy specifically say that the legacy and her family have a right to follow up on this if she was cut? Being a legacy in any group does not guarantee membership. Generally it equates with a courtesy invite back to the first invitational round.

Maybe because you're an AI and haven't been through rush as an ungrad chapter member it's harder for you to see. The girl would end up looking like a crybaby. If you're cut, the group obviously didn't want you. Having your relatives bug the chapter is going to make you look like a tool and isn't going to accomplish anything. Membership selection is private ritual in ALL of the NPC groups. Nothing leaves the chapter room, so Auntie Alpha isn't going to be able to find out anything or change anything. And Auntie Alpha has to accept the decisions of her sisters that her darling niece was just not a good fit for the chapter. It doesn't mean she's a horrible person, she just wasn't a good fit.

Maybe I don't understand it as well since I am an AI, you are correct. I am not saying the PNM should ask their mom or whoever to call and ask, I know that won't accomplish anything. I was just saying the PNM should ask their relative what the policy is. I know of specific chapters that do not follow through with the policy, sometimes because they don't even know of it.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by kddani
Does ASA's policy specifically say that the legacy and her family have a right to follow up on this if she was cut?

It might, you never know.

[Tom Earp]

Legacies have a preference, but doe not mean they have a Right!

We as Greeks Have a right who to choose.

But if Daddy Or Mommy Might Mean a Little Difference especially If There is alot of Money Envolved!

[xoheatherxo]

i think that this thread is a little contradicting. yall are telling these pnms to be themselves, but also restricting what they can talk about. so what happens when they get a bid and accept...then the chapter finds out all of these things about them?? i think its better to be yourself totally...if the chapter doesnt like you then they dont have to extend a bid. but being fake is going to come back in the end. if you cant be real with these people during a party, then how are you going to be real and talk to them about real issues once youre pledging??? im not saying to go tell them how many people youve slept with, or how much you can drink before you pass out, but you shouldnt hide that you do drink and can have a good time. obviously you want someone fun in your organization, so if you dont think these girls can have a good time because they arent allowed to talk about it during rush according to this thread, then why would you want them in your group?? there are a lot of other topics to talk about during rush parties, but these girls are going to be so nervous that they say something that someone on gc told them not to that they arent going to be themselves at all.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
i think that this thread is a little contradicting. yall are telling these pnms to be themselves, but also restricting what they can talk about. so what happens when they get a bid and accept...then the chapter finds out all of these things about them?? i think its better to be yourself totally...if the chapter doesnt like you then they dont have to extend a bid. but being fake is going to come back in the end. if you cant be real with these people during a party, then how are you going to be real and talk to them about real issues once youre pledging??? im not saying to go tell them how many people youve slept with, or how much you can drink before you pass out, but you shouldnt hide that you do drink and can have a good time. obviously you want someone fun in your organization, so if you dont think these girls can have a good time because they arent allowed to talk about it during rush according to this thread, then why would you want them in your group?? there are a lot of other topics to talk about during rush parties, but these girls are going to be so nervous that they say something that someone on gc told them not to that they arent going to be themselves at all.

Yes it's important to be yourself, but it's also important to be APPROPRIATE when dealing with people who don't KNOW you from a hole in the wall. You wouldn't get into a conversation with someone you don't know, about how drunk you were last night.

Face it, during rush, it's all about first impressions. Upon first meeting a girl, if all she talks about is how she parties all the time, that's NOT a good impression. It's something that is fine to discuss with people you know. But it's not appropriate conversation for a room full of sorority women that you've never met.

Think about it, we have a few rounds of parties to get to know these women, how is discussing their partying/drinking going to tell us how she'd contribute to the group?

There are MILLIONS of other things to talk about during rush. If a girl can't keep from discussing her wild partying, drinking, sex, or whatever for a few days, then I don't think I want her in my chapter anyway.

[MSKKG]

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
but you shouldnt hide that you do drink and can have a good time. obviously you want someone fun in your organization, so if you dont think these girls can have a good time because they arent allowed to talk about it during rush according to this thread, then why would you want them in your group??

Drinking is not the only way to have a good time. Someone can be fun and not drink alcohol. As long as "drinking" and "having fun" are synonymous, we are going to continue to see underage drinking being a problem.

[FSUZeta]

you should be yourself, but temper that with common sense. just as you would not go into your interview with the admissions officer to your top college choice saying that you are so f-ing hungover, and are so tired because your boyfriend kept you busy in bed all night, you would not want to share such personal information during recruitment OR on a job interview. these are things that we do not need or want to know.

if you decide to share intimately personal stuff like that during recruitment, do not be surprised if you are dropped like a hot potato at a lot of the chapters! if you cannot keep your own secrets, how can you be trusted with a sorority's?

[xoheatherxo]

im not saying that drinking and having fun are synonymous. but if a rusher asks a rushee what they do for fun what is the rushee supposed to say? im not saying that the rushee should tell the rusher that she goes out every night and parties, but even saying that she hangs out with friends could be taken the wrong way according to yall. and what happens then if the girl does go out and parties every night or is involved in a lot of activities that has nothing to do with going out but keeps her busy and acts like the she doesnt cause shes scared to tell a rusher anything about her life because it might not be ok to the rusher, and then the rushee gets a bid and then the chapter finds out??? the girl would then have no time to devote to her chapter or to getting to know the girls. but the chapter wouldnt have known that because the girl is putting on a front acting like the perfect little rushee. thats all i was saying...not that drinking and partying is the only way to have fun. trust me--i had a lot of fun in college that didnt involve partying, but it is college and thats what college kids do. acting like you dont go out ever is not going to impress an active. acting like you have no opinions about anything is not going to impress an active. im really glad that i went through rush at the school i did, because i couldnt deal with not being able to be myself around girls that i one day want to be my sisters. these girls need to know that they can bring up important topics and view their opinion but not to debate anything with a rusher. voicing an opinion should be ok though.

[_Lisa_]

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
im not saying that the rushee should tell the rusher that she goes out every night and parties, ...

Thats pretty much what we're warning PNM's about...

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
...but even saying that she hangs out with friends could be taken the wrong way according to yall.

And no one said anything even remotely similar to this.



The problem here is that you are taking everything everyone says & are blowing it out of proportion. We want rushers/rushees to be themselves but we want them to do it in a respectful way. Its just that simple.

[33girl]

Originally posted by crzychx
And no one said anything even remotely similar to this.


The problem here is that you are taking everything everyone says & are blowing it out of proportion. We want rushers/rushees to be themselves but we want them to do it in a respectful way. Its just that simple.

I agree. You can say "we like to go out" and unless the rushee is dumber than a post, if drinking is part of the culture of that school she'll know that you ocasionally drink. If the chapter really DOESN'T drink at all, they will put that across.

By the same token, the rushee can say "I like going out with friends" rather than saying "I like drinking until I spew" and rattling off a list of her favorite beers.

[tunatartare]

I agree with Heather on this one. I've seen girls come through recruitment that have talked about where they like to party, what they like to drink, getting written up, etc. and you know what? no one seemed to have a problem with that. And yes all of those girls did get bids, most to their first choice sororities. Recruitment is an awkward time for both the PNM and the rusher and I just feel that if girls are being real with me rather than thinking that this is a job interview, I can get to know them better and can better see if they're a good fit for my sorority. I would much rather prefer it for a girl to be up front and talk about how much she likes to drink than to have a girl come in and act like Mother Theresa and talk about how much she loves community service only to later find out that she doesn't do much of it but only wanted to join a sorority so she could party and meet guys.

[xoheatherxo]

thanks masha...its nice to know that someone understands what im talking about

[Buttonz]

Masha is right. I hate giving a bid to a girl and then finding out that she is nothing like what she pretended to be during rush. I rather have a girl be honest with me about liking ot party and have a good time then to say she doesn't do it nand find out she is a big party person.