Wedding Invitation Etiquette Question

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by greeklawgirl

Its not just a regional thing--its a cultural thing. I had a "sip and see" as well, although I would never EVER put people's names in front of the gifts. I wouldn't want my friends and family to feel embarrassed. The gifts took over my parents' dining room! Anyway, I think in the Greek culture its a left-over vestige of the times when brides had dowries and everyone in the village came to the bride's house to see.

Sorry - I did not mean to insinuate that it was ONLY a southern thing - but given that SBX is in Virginia, I thought I would address it from the southern perspective. So, it is a southern thing, and apparently also a Greek thing. Any others?

I like your idea of not putting the guests' names in front of the gifts - although you would have to be very, VERY careful about discussing that tacky gift with someone.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

Thank you. I was wondering about that. I didn't notice the price tags at first, but my mom sure did when we taking the gifts out to the car.

Oh TEH TACKY.

[ZTAMich]

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

Almost all of my gifts have not had a ribbon, so I have a pretty small rehearsal bouquet. I noticed that many of my gifts came with the price tag still attached! (Including a card I got yesterday.) My mom always taught me to remove pricetags from gifts before wrapping (there is a running joke at Christmas as to whose gift will have a tag attached). Is this the norm nowadays?

I think my mom told me once about a superstition that for every ribbon you break at your shower you'll have a baby! So perhaps they are saving you with not that much ribbon
One of my OOT friends brought us a gift to the wedding. It was in a gift bag along with the entire registry print out and a card she had forgotten to sign. Oh and with the receipt. Thank goodness THAT was in there or I never would have known who gave the gift!

[AGDee]

At showers around here, the bride opens every gift in front of the whole group and announces who it is from so I don't see how the "sip and see" would be any more/less embarrassing or tacky than that. Either way, everybody knows who gave what. Gifts of money are also common and the bride generally opens the card, says "A gift of money from... " but doesn't say that amount. It seems to me that a sip and see would save the guests from a couple hours of "And this toaster is from my neighbor's great aunt's boss" that we have to endure. I kind of like the idea.

It's also fairly common to receive duplicate gifts so including a gift receipt and leaving the price tag on could ease the hassle of returning all those dupes. Some price tags are difficult to remove without destroying the packaging of the item. After all, the bride registered for most of the stuff, she knows how much it cost.

My family abandoned the broken ribbon tradition but did make the paper plate bouquet. The opening of gifts was usually done in a production line at the head table so things were all unwrapped by the time the bride got it. She just had to say what it was and who it was from.

This is a hijack, but I find it exceptionally funny at baby showers when the mom-to-be doesn't know what an item is and has to ask someone.

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by ZTAMich

I think my mom told me once about a superstition that for every ribbon you break at your shower you'll have a baby! So perhaps they are saving you with not that much ribbon

This is why I was very, very careful unwrapping our engagement party gifts... much to my mother-in-law's disappointment

Originally Posted by AGDee

This is a hijack, but I find it exceptionally funny at baby showers when the mom-to-be doesn't know what an item is and has to ask someone.

Tell me about it! I attended a baby shower a while ago where mom-to-be didn't know what several of the items were. "Is this a onesie?" The kicker: She's a pediatrician!

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

Here's a random question:

My sister in law and I went to a shower for a mutual friend last month, and because my SIL was working two jobs at the time and wasn't sure she could make it at all, she made sure she had a card well in advance, so that in case she couldn't get a gift (off the registry or otherwise) she could at least put a check in the card so she didn't show up empty-handed.

When the bride opened the card, she made a big deal about just getting money (jokingly, but it still made my SIL feel awful), and then she mentioned again later that "only she would put money in a card and call it a day" in the thank you note. It should be noted that none of the stores where the couple is registered are anywhere near my hometown, where my brother and SIL live. Is that mean or ungrateful or are you really supposed to be sure to give a gift and only a gift at a shower?

I tend to get a giftcard to one of the stores that people register at - one because I really hate buying off a registry in the first place (I can almost never find the item unless it's at a certain popular bullseye type branded store that I used to work at), and two, because I worked at the bullseye, I always saw couples coming in after the wedding and buying a lot of the stuff that was on their registry and people didn't get (or they got part of it, say, a plate but none of the matching set) so I figure a giftcard to that store will help them fill out their registry. Should I be getting an actual gift? Thoughts?

My thoughts? The bride is a rude bitch. How tacky to say something like that at the shower and then again in the thank you card. Be grateful for whatever you get, no matter what it is and give a sincere thanks, not a bitchtastic card like that.

FWIW, cash/checks were the predominant gifts at my cousin's wedding in NY. Out here in CA it seems people are more likely to give you an actual gift.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

My thoughts? The bride is a rude bitch. How tacky to say something like that at the shower and then again in the thank you card. Be grateful for whatever you get, no matter what it is and give a sincere thanks, not a bitchtastic card like that.

So true. Whether cash/check gifts are considered appropriate has alot to do with where you're from (ex: it's not the norm where I'm from). Whether the bride considers a cash gift inappropriate or not, she should always be grateful for any gift and never rude.

Sometimes women need to remember that it doesn't pay to be rude at your wedding or other wedding events, since you still have see/interact with some of your guests (especially family) afterward (and family, pretty well the rest of your life).

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Sorry - I did not mean to insinuate that it was ONLY a southern thing - but given that SBX is in Virginia, I thought I would address it from the southern perspective. So, it is a southern thing, and apparently also a Greek thing. Any others?

I like your idea of not putting the guests' names in front of the gifts - although you would have to be very, VERY careful about discussing that tacky gift with someone.

i can see it now, standing next to someone who is mumbling "my god, WHO on earth bought her that awful cutlery?? and from Target? how cheap!" and YOU are the cheap tacky Target shopper lol!

my dad hates the idea of a registry at ALL and refuses to buy anything off of them! he feels they are rude by telling you what you have to buy, and he is going to give you what he wants you to have lol! i always tell him it is SO not that serious!

[XOMichelle]

My roommate was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom asked people to buy them things for a trip around the world. I'm not entirely sure how they worked out the logistics, but their guests got them hotel rooms, dinners at restaurants, and other things for their trip.

Sounds way cooler to me than dishes!

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by XOMichelle

My roommate was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom asked people to buy them things for a trip around the world. I'm not entirely sure how they worked out the logistics, but their guests got them hotel rooms, dinners at restaurants, and other things for their trip.

Sounds way cooler to me than dishes!

There ARE honeymoon registries nowadays, but that isn't my style. Registries were established to set up a couple's household. And I will get VERY excited about china when the time comes!

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by XOMichelle

My roommate was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom asked people to buy them things for a trip around the world. I'm not entirely sure how they worked out the logistics, but their guests got them hotel rooms, dinners at restaurants, and other things for their trip.

Sounds way cooler to me than dishes!

We've been to a couple of weddings where people had honeymoon registries. It seemed like a neat idea, for people to be able to craft their registries around what they like. It also seems like a good idea for people who already have a lot of the home stuff (appliances, dishes, flatware, etc.).

We have three weddings next year (two with college friends and one with a family member), and I would be a little surprised if at least one didn't have some sort of honeymoon registry.

[KSUViolet06]

I think the thing I've heard of that took the cake in terms of registries would be the HOME BUYING REGISTRY. The couple sets up a bank account and asks guests to contribute $$ to it in lieu of gifts, which will go toward the purchase of their new home.

http://www.bridaldownpayment.com/index.html#overview

I opened an invite that had a card from one of these places, and did a double take. I had never seen or heard of anything like this before.

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think the thing I've heard of that took the cake in terms of registries would be the HOME BUYING REGISTRY. The couple sets up a bank account and asks guests to contribute $$ to it in lieu of gifts, which will go toward the purchase of their new home.

http://www.bridaldownpayment.com/index.html#overview

I opened an invite that had a card from one of these places, and did a double take. I had never seen or heard of anything like this before.

It sounds strange, but I like that idea better than a green back. We actually let everyone know who gave us cash at our wedding that their gift would be used toward the downpayment of a home.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

It sounds strange, but I like that idea better than a green back. We actually let everyone know who gave us cash at our wedding that their gift would be used toward the downpayment of a home.

i am just always so nervous about who you turn off when you steer from the norm, you know? some people think registries are pushy, others think money is rude...not that im would get married for the gifts lol, but traditions are traditions for some people! i would love money towards a house, but wouldnt DARE imply that, because our families are extra old-school and would probably opt to skip the gift altogether!

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by OneTimeSBX

i would love money towards a house, but wouldnt DARE imply that, because our families are extra old-school and would probably opt to skip the gift altogether!

I'm not that old-school, but when my cousin sent her tacky-ass wishing well poem in the invite, I opted out a present altogether. When I personally ask people, however, if they want something special from their registries and they say that they'd really just prefer cash, I'll happily oblige. It's a difference between being asked and advertising that you want money.