Soliloquy's Fall 2007 recruitment

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Ok, I'm probably going to get (virtually) shot for this because everyone's been so on this young lady's side, but after reading this whole thread in one sitting, I'm wondering why so many experienced GCers are giving some of the feedback they are to this poster. From my reading, I took that she not only had friends in every house but also had Recs on a campus where recs aren't the norm, thereby, most likely, I'm guessing, having an advantage over most of the other rushees. And she still didn't end up with a bid. Even on a campus where chapters take quota and are at total, if "everyone" really loved this rushee as much as she thought they did AND she had recs, somebody would have been fighting harder for her in membership selection and making sure she got on their bid list. Just my pessimistic take from a totally objective read of the thread.

And Soliloquy, I won't claim to know you at all, but from my read, statements like the one you've made below may have been what didn't go over too well in your conversations. Getting a position in another organization, to my knowledge, won't necessarily improve anyone's chances of "getting a bid". And making the point that you now hold a position that most of the student body "desires" won't necessarily sway them your way either. Maybe hoping they're jealous of your accomplishments isn't the best strategy toward working your way into their sisterhoods... just my 1/2 cent...

You might get flamed...but it won't be by me!

Had a pretty big thing just happen in my life, a pretty big positive thing, that reaaalllly improves my chances of getting a bid. Let's just say I am now part of one of the most elite organizations on campus and holding a position that most of the student body desires!

To the OP, it's great that you had this positive thing happen for you. But how do you know for a fact that it improves your chances? Did you ever stop for a second and think that the same girls who didn't offer you a bid in the fall are reading this? How does this position make you more desirable?

[lindz0722]

When I read her post I assumed it was something like a student government president, which I think would definitely give her a leg up during recruitment. (Of course I could be completely wrong )

Originally Posted by lindz0722

When I read her post I assumed it was something like a student government president, which I think would definitely give her a leg up during recruitment. (Of course I could be completely wrong )

I would probably agree with you if she's going through rush for the first time.

But she isn't. For whatever reason she wasn't extended a bid last Fall.

If I were the OP, I'd like to be given a bid because the sorority saw something in ME. I'd hate it if I were given a bid just because I'm SGA President. But hey...if that's the OP's preferred choice of a way in...

[Leslie Anne]

I'm not going to flame anyone. I just wish everyone might cut Soliloquy some slack. We all know Recruitment is difficult. Add to that the fact that she didn't get a bid in the fall which is so hurtful.

It's easy from the inside to judge what helps someone get a bid. From the outside, you can only guess and hope.

Can we all just ease up on her and wish her well?

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Can we all just ease up on her and wish her well?

I absolutely wish her well, but it seems like people are over-raising her hopes and expectations that somehow, some way, she'll find her way into one of these houses. And it's not necessarily true. Not everyone does get into the greek system and I think it's ok to let someone know that hey, you definitely gave it your best shot (which it sounds like she did), it just wasn't for you, sounds like you have lots of other stuff on your plate, go maximize that. Rather than continuing to egg her into informal rush, continuous open bidding, torturing herself through formal again. There are only 4 chapters on campus, I can't imagine she didn't already have her best shot at membership. I don't think we need to make everyone feel like they "should" be greek just because they really, really want to.

[Leslie Anne]

^^^^ agreed

[Soliloquy]

It's pretty funny how during recruitment people on this board are sooo supportive, but when you don't end up greek, some show their true sides.

This position I just got really is a highly desired spot. It's a huge deal on our campus and becomes a competition among greeks as to who has the most members represented in this organization. One sorority actually bought up the fact they had the most members represented in it during rush. The reason I said it increases my chances because it makes me more visable and allows me to meet more people, including sorority women.

I don't have some weird deformity that barred me from receiving a bid. Another girl I rushed with this year also went through last year, knowing way more people inside houses then I did, and didn't get a bid. She spent the following year maintaining her grades and meeting a few more people, and guess what? She got the house she wanted this time. She isn't the only example I can think of. Maybe it's just our greek system, but going through twice is pretty common - even for well-known and respected girls. Yeah, I know it makes our system sound weird- but that's just how it works. So whatever.

One last thing, a lot of the people in this thread that have been super supportive consistently because we have been chatting on AIM or through PM's. They knew me a bit better and of course were being more encouraging.

[SigKapAngel767]

[nittanyalum]

If the "true sides" comment was to me, trust me, this is my only side, I would have said the same things had I read your story "in real time". I'm hit-and-miss with recruitment stories, some I read and some I don't. Today was the first time I saw yours.

But as to your follow-on arguments, I will leave them be. Go get 'em, tiger!

[OtterXO]

Eek. Soliloquy, I would tread lightly my friend.

The point was that if you think something you've done will "increase your chances" of receiving a bid and you go into recruitment with the mentality of "I have an elite, desired position so I have a higher chance of receiving a bid" you may come off as arrogant, snobby, entitled and a whole other slew of descriptions that I don't really care to take the time to name. But you get my picture. In reading the stories on this board you should have learned that coming off as any of these (arrogant, snobby, entitled, etc.) will likely have a negative impact on the PNM's recruitment. You may not really be that way, but that doesn't really matter so much when you meet people for 10-20 minutes at parties. They don't have time to get to know the "real" you, they just see what you presented to them. You should really thank people for pointing out that your attitude may be perceived as such, it will probably help if you are aware of it prior to and during recruitment. If you can't see that then good luck to you.

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=92353

[kddani]

Copeland doesn't know what they're missing!

It's posts like this that are what people are talking about. Copeland may not know what they're missing, but we don't either- we don't know this poster from any Jane Doe on the street. I understand people are trying to be nice and comforting, but really, why say something like this when you don't even know the person?

I'd also agree with people that mentioned how her involvement in various organizations may have come across. I just read this thread tonight (recruitment threads sorta bore me anymore), and when I read the OP's post about her new activity, good for her, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by kddani

we don't know this poster from any Jane Doe on the street. I understand people are trying to be nice and comforting, but really, why say something like this when you don't even know the person?

when I read the OP's post about her new activity, good for her, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

First off, some of us actually do know this poster. Soliloquy and I have exchanged PMs and emails over the months since formal Recruitment and I know I'm not the only one on GC who's kept in touch with her. So, since I do know her (as well as you can without meeting irl) I can say with confidence that I think she's a pretty amazing individual. I think she would be a great asset to any sorority.

I understand that her recent comments have rubbed people the wrong way. It's funny though because she's just a very confident, strong, opinionated woman and the people who seem to be annoyed with her the most are the exact same way. Go figure.

It actually does seem that we expect PNMs to be meek little things and get bent out of shape if they're not. Well, she's been through it already. She's had a tough time. Now she has something exciting to share that she thinks might help (maybe it will, maybe it won't) and she's getting crap for it.

Whether you like her or not, the advice is fine but I think dumping on her is going too far.

/rant

[squirrely girl]

not trying to be devil's advocate here, well okay ya. but still. how much do you REALLY know a person when you only know them through PMs?

- m

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by squirrely girl

not trying to be devil's advocate here, well okay ya. but still. how much do you REALLY know a person when you only know them through PMs?

- m

Are you just deliberately trying to be pissy? Should I give you a rating on a scale of 1 to 10 of how well I think I know her?

Seriously, people, I am not one to follow all the new rush threads posting meaningless drivel. I am NOT one of the sunshine crew! I feel strongly about this particular PNM and I don't have to justify that to anyone.