Put Your Offensive or Sick Joke Here (not for the faint hearted)

[Betarulz!]

How do you kill the mentally handicapped?

Hand them a knife and ask them who's special.

[swissmiss04]

What's so difficult about eating vegetables?









Putting them back in their wheelchairs when you're done!

[smiley21]

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mattpike]

i would like to bump this thread as well

[ZTAngel]

Christmas Ebonics (I apologize beforehand but I got this a few years ago and it just cracked me up)

'Twas da night befo' Christmas & all in the hood,
Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill
And we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
In the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Mom's in her do-rag and me with my nine,
Had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.

All of sudden a lowrider rolled by,
Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system is fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'
'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
Well anyway....

I yelled to my lady, "Yo! Peep this!"
She said, "Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness."
I said, "For real doe, come check dis out."
We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt.
Cuz bumpin' and thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh.

Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat.
I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!"
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,
"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!
To the top of the projects & across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"

He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof,
And sippin' on a 40, he busted a move.

I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"
He said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!
But don't worry man, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings
A credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.
He slid down the fire excape smoove as a cat,
And busted the window wit' a b-ball bat.

I said, 'Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
He said, "You best get on up out my face!"
His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold,
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old.

He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side.
Santa broke out da loot and my moug popped open wide.
A wink of his eye and a shine of his gold toof,
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof.
He jumped in his hooptie wit' rims made of chrome,
To tap that booty waitin' at home.

And all I heard as he cruised outta sight,
Was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEEEEEESST SIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!!!"

[TigerLilly]

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Little Boy Blue."

"Little Boy Blue who?"

"Little boy blew Michael Jackson."

(Naturally better told out loud.)

[Sister Havana]

I always liked this one...

A woman takes a lover while her husband is at work during the day. One day her son comes home and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. A little while later, the husband comes home, so the woman hides the man in the closet not knowing her son is in there. So the man and the son are standing in the closet, then the son says, “It’s dark in here.”
Man: “Yep.”
Son: “I have a baseball.”
Man: “That’s nice.”
Son: “Wanna buy it?”
Man: “No thanks.”
Son: "My dad's outside."
Man: "Okay, how much?"
Son: “$250.00”
So the man pays him the money.

The next week, it happens again, the man and the son are standing in the closet together.
Son: “It’s dark in here.”
Man: “Yeah.”
Son: “I have a baseball glove.”
Remembering the conversation from last week, the man says, “How much?”
Son: “$750.00.”
So the man pays him the money.

A week later, the husband says to the son, “Hey sonny, grab your glove and ball, we’ll go play catch.” The son says, “I can’t dad, I sold them both”. The father asked, “How much did you sell them for?” to the son replying, “$1,000.00”. The father is astounded and says, “Son, you shouldn’t be ripping off your friends like that, I’m going to take you to church and you can confess.” So the father takes the son to church, puts him in the confessional booth and shuts the door.

The son is sitting in the confessional booth and says, “It’s dark in here”, to which the priest replied, “Don’t start that again!”

[swissmiss04]

Q:What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four

[LttleMsPrEp]

A man and a woman are at a bar, the guy asks the woman " will you sleep with me for 1 million dollars?" and the woman says "yes" then the guy says "will you sleep with me for 5 dollars?" and the woman replies "what kind of woman do you think I am?" and the guy responds "Well, I think we already established that I'm just negotiating the price"

[mxfemme]

Your mom is so old, her nipples are like saladitos.

whats the difference between a black guy and a bench?
A bench supports a family.

What did the white girl say when she saw her TV floating?
Drop it n****

[Senusret I]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

Have dead baby jokes been told on here before?

I haven't checked through this thread but...


What's grosser than one dead baby nailed to a tree?
one dead baby nailed to ten trees.

[OneTimeSBX]

a priest took a shower and was leaving the bathroom after he left his robe in the room, he decided to make a run for it. as he got to the hallway, he heard three nuns coming, so he laid against the wall and pretended to be a statue.

the first nun walked up and wondered what he was. she pulled his d*ck and he dropped his soap. "oh!" she said, "its a soap dispenser!"

the second nun walked up and pulled his d*ck, and he dropped his sponge. "oh!" she said, "its a sponge holder too!"

the third nun walked up and pulled his d*ck, but nothing happened. so she pulled it again and again. finally she turned around and said "OH! its a lotion dispenser too!"

this one is one of my favorites lol!