Cheating Men

[thesweetestone]

What do yall think about the situation Desery described on the last page? That sounds like drama.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Sounds like that to me too. Usually PB's post are negative anyway.

Just because I don't understand his logic on this particular topic, this does *not* mean I think he is being negative.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Huh? So PB and 06, are you all saying that it is only considered cheating if the man is married? So, if the man is not married, but is in a serious dating relationship then it is not cheating? And, how is a woman's cheating different than a man's? If a man is out there cheating with a woman is she not just as guilty of the act as the man?

I get the impression that you all are implying that a man's cheating is somehow different than if a woman cheats.

I think somewhere in your argument there is a double standard.

sigmadiva, you've got me all wrong. I apologize if I sounded like cheating men are different. Actually I think it's all wrong rather a woman does it or a man. I was just saying that women didn't do it as much years and years ago, and if they did they did a really good job hiding it. A lot of men have always done it and are still doing it. I think women are now starting to do it as much as men if not more. That's what I mean when I say women are jumping on the band wagon. But I agree with you, it's wrong rather someone is in a marriage or a relationship.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Sounds like that to me too. Usually PB's post are negative anyway.

I don't think I've ever read a positive thread from you. I often wonder why your screen name is cheerfulgreek. You sound very angry, and it always seems like your anger is directed towards me. I thought we were from the same state?

[CherryPepsi]

When I see topics like this,,,I wonder was man really made to love just one person.
Anywhoo Professor I think you should tell, no matter when and how you do it it's gonna be rough. But at least you were honest with your (wife?) And let the chips fall where they may.
I also think if you guys decide to split up...try not get into another committed relationship. If you have kids just try to be a great dad. Committed relationships might not be your strong suit, just be a confirmed bachelor and do you.JMO
To the poster that said All women stick together...obviously not. He needed a woman to cheat with.

I sure hope that skeeza was worth your relationship

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

A lot of men have always done it and are still doing it.

This is what I am asking: If men have always "done it", meaning cheating, then who were these men cheating with - other men, or other women?

If we (the general we) are going to *assume* that in the history of men cheating (married or not) that the "other woman" is involved, then I assure you the other woman is cheating also, if no one else, then at least herself.

In order for a person to cheat in a relationship, then there must be a third party - male or female.

I think women are now starting to do it as much as men if not more. That's what I mean when I say women are jumping on the band wagon.

I don't think it is so much that women are just now 'jumping on the band wagon', I think that because women have gained financial independence from men, then we can 'afford' to be more open with our cheating now than in the past.

[iotamason]

The no.1 reason men as well as women cheat is they feel their partner is lacking in a certain area in the relationship.

I believe there are 5 points in a relationship in which the people will have to be connected: Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual, and Sexual.

As long as these five points coincide between the two individuals, a man will see no reason to go elsewhere. All needs are met. It is when something is not connecting between the two or they are not on the same "level" will infidelity happen.

Emotionally- A man wants a woman that will encourage him not tear him down. He wants her to let him know that he is needed. In turn he should be comfortable to confide in his woman with his emotions and it not be seen as a "weakness" but strength that he has that much trust in her.

Mentally- The man and woman should be on the same wavelength when it comes to conversation. THe should be able to connect on mulitiple range of topics and share the same interest... also think of this as "Communication"

Physically- There must be some type of attraction....that way if everything else lines up ... something that "Sparkles a little more" will not make the brotha stray.

Spiritually- Every man wants a woman that can be his "rib" especially if it deals with religion, they should have at least the same basic views so that being unequally yoked spiritually will not become a problem.

Sexually- In marriage a husband and his wife become one. The husband should be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his wife satisfied as well as vice versa.. If everything you need to satisfy you is done behind closed doors then a man will not go out else where to be satisfied..

[pinkies up]

^^^. The above is true, however, the reason someone cheats is not an excuse to cheat. Just because someone feels that an area is lacking, it gives the person no excuse to go and cheat. (especially in a marriage). When people are dating, it's important for both parties to express expectations. For example, if the two agree to date eachother, but have an open relationship, then they both need to be mature enough to handle it. Don't say it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex, but then nag about it.

[7thSonofOsiris]

In regards to this topic, I think that, all too often, honor and integrity driven brothers, make an intensely concerted effort to remain just that, honorable. But, then there's the number of cheesy brothers out there that spent their bachelor party events, engaged in some actions that should not have come to fruition, so, the ability or the inability/proclivity of a man to cheat lies deeply embedded in the man's character. If he was garbage before the marriage, there is a chance that he may not change his ways, and remain garbage after he's married.
But too, the same inferrence can be connected to some of the sisters out there. Recently, I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

I don't think I've ever read a positive thread from you. I often wonder why your screen name is cheerfulgreek. You sound very angry, and it always seems like your anger is directed towards me. I thought we were from the same state?

Aww. Poor baby. Are you going to cry?

Did you get my PM?

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

This is what I am asking: If men have always "done it", meaning cheating, then who were these men cheating with - other men, or other women?

If we (the general we) are going to *assume* that in the history of men cheating (married or not) that the "other woman" is involved, then I assure you the other woman is cheating also, if no one else, then at least herself.

In order for a person to cheat in a relationship, then there must be a third party - male or female.




I don't think it is so much that women are just now 'jumping on the band wagon', I think that because women have gained financial independence from men, then we can 'afford' to be more open with our cheating now than in the past.

These are men cheating with other women.

I agree. Not only is it more in the open, but women are flat out doing it as much as men if not more, because of more financial independence. This is what I meant by jumping on the band wagon.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by 7thSonofOsiris

In regards to this topic, I think that, all too often, honor and integrity driven brothers, make an intensely concerted effort to remain just that, honorable. But, then there's the number of cheesy brothers out there that spent their bachelor party events, engaged in some actions that should not have come to fruition, so, the ability or the inability/proclivity of a man to cheat lies deeply embedded in the man's character. If he was garbage before the marriage, there is a chance that he may not change his ways, and remain garbage after he's married.
But too, the same inferrence can be connected to some of the sisters out there. Recently, I was on a visit to Atlanta, and although I know that Atlanta ain't the best city to try to be focused in, the women were rolling up trippin'. It's hard man. Anyway, I came across some women who just didn't give a damn. Some were married, and most weren't. I was with some of my Bruhs, and oh boy, my newly married Sands' would show the women his ring and then he'd say, "oh, I'm married" and some women were like, "so, I didn't ask you that". I was like, okay. The world can be a debauched place, but, its all about the character of both the man and the woman, and ultimately, the role that Christ plays in their lives.

The 7th

This is so true. Once a cheater 9 times out of 10 always a cheater. I was watching this show on National Geographic. It was about wolves and it was just saying that wolves stay with one mate. I heard that dolphins do too. These are animals and it's shame human beings can't stay with one person.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Aww. Poor baby. Are you going to cry?

Did you get my PM?

..............

Yeah I got it. Let's keep it even.

March and July.

[sigmadiva]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

These are men cheating with other women.

I agree. Not only is it more in the open, but women are flat out doing it as much as men if not more, because of more financial independence. This is what I meant by jumping on the band wagon.

Gotcha!!!

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Gotcha!!!

LOL. I guess you did. You're right though, you made some valid points.