Flip side: Over my dead body my daughter would go to... - Page 10

DSTRen13 · #**136** 07-19-2011, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I went to school close-ish to my mom/stepdad (30 minutes), yet still did the dorm thing. Looking back, I don't think I would have been as involved at school or made as many friends (and certainly not gone Greek) if I commuted from their house.

Living away from mom and dad is SO important.

Cannot agree more. I went to school in midtown Atlanta, while my parents live in the south metro area (F'ville/PTC). The one summer I commuted was just ... not good. I learned the academic stuff, but there is so much more to college than just the academic stuff. You really need to be learning the whole package!

Munchkin03 · #**137** 07-19-2011, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

This is why I did not go to LSU. My parents wouldn't have been able to butt out if I was in the same town. I always wanted to go to LSU, but it was more important to be 180 miles away.

I needed 1,500 miles.

KSUViolet06 · #**138** 07-19-2011, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

This is why I did not go to LSU. My parents wouldn't have been able to butt out if I was in the same town. I always wanted to go to LSU, but it was more important to be 180 miles away.

^^^See, I probably would have gone somewhere far away if I had the kind of parents who were going to be all in my business. My parents were the "we call once every 2 weeks or so to make sure you're alive" type. They were also the "we don't care if you stay local for school, but you need to leave the nest" type.

aephi alum · #**139** 07-19-2011, 07:32 PM

Soooo true... the living-on-campus experience is so important, even if your parents live right around the corner. After 18 years, who wouldn't want to move away from mom and dad and curfews and expectations that you'll be in bed at a reasonable hour and "no beer pong for YOU, young lady / young man"?

My parents were ok with wherever I wanted to go to school as long as it was somewhere that would provide a good quality education. The only school where I was expressly forbidden to apply was Yale, as New Haven wasn't exactly the safest city at the time. (I wouldn't mind sending a hypothetical child to Yale, though. New Haven is reasonably safe these days, though there are areas I wouldn't want to enter by myself at night.)

My husband's parents, OTOH, wanted him to go to an Ivy League school close to home. He was forced to apply to Yale, even though he got into MIT early action, because MIT isn't Ivy League, and his mother wanted him 1 hour's drive away instead of 3-1/2 hours.

I can guarandamntee you that if he'd gone to Yale she'd have driven up unannounced from time to time.

Anyway, like I said upthread, my hypothetical child's happiness would be most important, whether she picked a school around the corner or on the other side of the world - as long as she stayed away from HAHVAHD and from any school where "mandatory chapel" or "women must wear skirts" appears in the school rules.

MysticCat · #**140** 07-19-2011, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Living away from mom and dad (whether you're 30 minutes away or 3,000 miles) is SO important.

My mom's rule of thumb was that you should go to college close enough that you can get home when you really need to, but far enough way that you can't come home whenever you want to.

AOII Angel · #**141** 07-19-2011, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

^^^See, I probably would have gone somewhere far away if I had the kind of parents who were going to be all in my business. My parents were the "we call once every 2 weeks or so to make sure you're alive" type. They were also the "we don't care if you stay local for school, but you need to leave the nest" type.

LOL. When my sister and I would come home for holidays and summer, my parents would give us a 10PM curfew! Seriously. At school we came home whenever we wanted. WTF? Thank God I didn't decide to stay in BTR for school. My parents are hyper strict and nosy. They would have been all in my business.

DSTRen13 · #**142** 07-19-2011, 08:01 PM

In college, my mom was all the time "Stop calling me so much." If I was a more sensitive person, that might have hurt my feelings

KSUViolet06 · #**143** 07-19-2011, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

LOL. When my sister and I would come home for holidays and summer, my parents would give us a 10PM curfew! Seriously. At school we came home whenever we wanted. WTF? Thank God I didn't decide to stay in BTR for school. My parents are hyper strict and nosy. They would have been all in my business.

Wow. Yeah when I was home for summer or holidays, the only rule was that I not disturb anyone when I came in late. Ex: don't come in, yell "wooooo I'm sooo drunk," then knock over a vase at 2am.

My parents aren't the "drive up and see me" type. So I never had to worry about mom just dropping by. Thank goodness.

And aephialum: you mentioned the only other type of school (other than a for-profit) that I REALLY wouldn't want my kids to attend. There's a very popular "mandatory chapel type" school near here. I know, it's hard to FORBID a kid to attend a school they're like "in loveeeee" with but I would try my hardest to help him/her to see that you can love God/be a Christian without going to a school with mandatory chapel and ban on R-rated movies.

(Yes, said school bans any movie that's rated R. My friend was written up her freshman year for having a copy of Schindler's List because of the rating.)

AGDee · #**144** 07-19-2011, 08:28 PM

I'm taking a new twist on this...

Over my dead body my daughter would go to... any school if she was just going there because her boyfriend was going there.

IrishLake · #**145** 07-19-2011, 08:29 PM

^ Cedarville?

Tulip86 · #**146** 07-19-2011, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm taking a new twist on this...

Over my dead body my daughter would go to... any school if she was just going there because her boyfriend was going there.

Igree 100%, worst choice ever. Although I can imagine it can be hard to convince a ohmigodimsoinloveandhesthebestboyfriendeverrrrr teenager of this

KSUViolet06 · #**147** 07-19-2011, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishLake

^ Cedarville?

Close. Malone (Canton.)

HannahXO · #**148** 07-19-2011, 08:44 PM

BYU's "honor code" also freaks me out a little bit...when otherwise bright students are kicked out for having premarital sex, I think that's a problem. Colleges should only interfere in your personal life when absolutely necessary, IMO. Academic honor codes are great, of course, but this is different.

KSUViolet06 · #**149** 07-19-2011, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

I'm taking a new twist on this...

Over my dead body my daughter would go to... any school if she was just going there because her boyfriend was going there.

If I could block the car from leaving the driveway headed for Boyfriend's School, I would.

However, it is SO hard to convince kids that as much as they love Boyfriend, the chances of them lasting through freshman year at the same school are pretty slim.

My mom's co-worker watched her daughter turn down COLUMBIA for Ohio State because of her boyfriend, go to OSU, then break up with said boy by Christmas break.

I mean, she told her all the time during the decision process "you're making a HUGE mistake if you turn down Columbia" but she didn't want to be a heli-mom and try too hard to sway her decision. So she voiced her opinion but didn't force it. There's such a fine line between letting kids make their own choices and trying to keep them from making ones you KNOW they'll regret. Sigh.

Munchkin03 · #**150** 07-19-2011, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

My mom's rule of thumb was that you should go to college close enough that you can get home when you really need to, but far enough way that you can't come home whenever you want to.

Now it's so easy to get most places (maybe not cheap, but easy) that distance really isn't an issue anymore. I never felt like I couldn't get home if I *needed* to, and I rarely ever wanted to do so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

See, I probably would have gone somewhere far away if I had the kind of parents who were going to be all in my business. My parents were the "we call once every 2 weeks or so to make sure you're alive" type. They were also the "we don't care if you stay local for school, but you need to leave the nest" type.

My parents were definitely going to be all in my business, so I got as far away as I could (literally). Even now, I think my father would have a heart attack if he didn't hear from me for 2 weeks.