going on dates to just go on a date

pinkyphimu · #1 03-04-2005, 12:34 AM

do you agree to go on dates with people you don't have an interest in just to go out on a date?

AGDee · #2 03-04-2005, 01:09 AM

I don't understand why you would want to spend an evening with someone that you aren't interested in. It sounds like it would be a chore, not something fun.

Dee

bluefish81 · #3 03-04-2005, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
do you agree to go on dates with people you don't have an interest in just to go out on a date?

No. I don't feel like I should waste my time (or theirs). One of my friends does this and I just don't see a point. If you have no interest in someone at all, why waste your time?

Dionysus · #4 03-04-2005, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bluefish81
No. I don't feel like I should waste my time (or theirs). One of my friends does this and I just don't see a point. If you have no interest in someone at all, why waste your time?

I've done this twice in the past. I had an hidden agenda both times.

One reason, sometimes getting to know one person can get you closer to another person.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #5 03-04-2005, 10:19 AM

Go if you think you *might* be interested. If it's a get-to-know you date with a guy you got set up with through a friend, or you've gone on two dates with the same guy and still aren't quite sure what's going on.

Other than that, I think I'd be worried people would think I was trying to mooch a free meal.

laidbackfella · #6 03-04-2005, 11:33 AM

Quote:

trying to mooch a free meal

If you have no interest in the person.

And you aren't paying for your own meal.

That's all a person would being doing in the end.

adpiucf · #7 03-04-2005, 12:21 PM

As long as you don't lead anyone on, it's fine to dabble in serial dating. A first date doesn't carry any long-term committments, so think of it as social networking.

Casually dating different types of men/women can help you better understand what you are looking for in a significant other, develop a new interest (Ie: music, arts, a new kind of food you haven't tried before), learn something new about yourself or make a new friend/group of friends.

And you might meet someone special through that new group of friends!

Dionysus · #8 03-04-2005, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
As long as you don't lead anyone on, it's fine to dabble in serial dating. A first date doesn't carry any long-term committments, so think of it as social networking.

Casually dating different types of men/women can help you better understand what you are looking for in a significant other, develop a new interest (Ie: music, arts, a new kind of food you haven't tried before), learn something new about yourself or make a new friend/group of friends.

And you might meet someone special through that new group of friends!

DEAD ON! You explained way better than I did!

Coramoor · #9 03-04-2005, 02:35 PM

Depends.

If it's to a date party or formal or something like that, I'd go just b/c it would be fun and I could probably pick someone up there that I did like.

On a regular date...nah.

Peaches-n-Cream · #10 03-04-2005, 02:48 PM

I went out on many dates before I met my fiance. If I met someone who was interested in me and held my interest, I accepted a date. These guys were nice and we had a good time, but nothing materialized. I guess that is casual dating. I was going out and having fun.

Rudey · #11 03-04-2005, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
do you agree to go on dates with people you don't have an interest in just to go out on a date?

I don't think the guy cares as long as he gets to know the girl in the biblical sense.

-Rudey

laidbackfella · #12 03-04-2005, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
As long as you don't lead anyone on

Does that include letting the other person know BEFORE the date that you have Zero Interest in them?

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
serial dating

It's not dating if you don't look at it as a date.

It's serial rejection.

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
A first date doesn't carry any long-term committments, so think of it as social networking.

Since there is no commitment or promise of one, are you paying for your own way?

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
Casually dating different types of men/women can help you better understand what you are looking for in a significant other, develop a new interest (Ie: music, arts, a new kind of food you haven't tried before), learn something new about yourself or make a new friend/group of friends.

And you might meet someone special through that new group of friends!

I agree with your premise.

But first dates don't allow you to see what a person truly is about.

Most times it takes several dates for a person to move through their own closely held perceptions about people to even begin to see what the other person is really all about.

Now if you are hanging out with a group of people you can learn some of these things but not always with the one on one cuz most "First Dates" are not that creative, unless you plan to do something totally different than the norm.

But most times when you have the mindset to plan to do something totally different from the norm in relation to going on a first date you already understand what it is you want and know that you don't waste time on pointless dates.

AKA_Monet · #13 03-04-2005, 04:51 PM

Are you trying to court for marriage? Or are you just trying to "hang out"?

Dating is really "hanging out" if you do it "serially"... It hardly ever leads more than a few "sporty events" then it's whatever...

If you DO NOT want to get married to that person, and you WANT marriage (eventually), DO NOT go out with that person you have no interest in...

But, I don't see anything wrong with "Continuable Dateable Education" even if you have little interest in that person... You have got to learn how "folks" think, somehow... And practice makes perfect... If you do not "DATE" at all, then how will you have appropriate social interactive behaviors???

DAYUM... Where's James... He's better at this than me...

And don't date Cashmoney unless you want your world rocked...

And you can date Rudey, and he MIGHT show you good time, but he's gonna have EXPECTATIONS in the end...

That's pretty much the broad ranges you get with most guys...

laidbackfella · #14 03-04-2005, 05:12 PM

Perhaps I am focusing too hard on the original question which asks:

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
do you agree to go on dates with people you don't have an interest in just to go out on a date?

How in the world could this be viewed as a positive interaction or even a learning experience?

You don't have an interest in the person.

You, more than likely, are viewing the date with totally different outcomes.

You, more than likely, will not tell the person, "Hey, _______. I have no interest in you. I'm just going out cuz I wanna go on a date."

Maybe it's me but a person's perceptions are more than likely still going to shape their reality in the end.

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
if you have little interest in that person...

Little would mean some.

But she said:

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
you don't have an interest in

She's speaking of none.

Which, in the end, can't lead to any productive social interaction.

chideltjen · #15 03-04-2005, 05:51 PM

I've done this before with guys I've met at clubs that seemed interesting. But since you can't really hold a conversation in a crowded loud club, it's refreshing to go to a sober cafe after the fact. Generally after seeing them in both environments I can either not see them again or see if I can get a friendship out of it at least.