"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[dgfromtx]

LSUGrrl...check your PM...I dare not post my two cents here.

[carnation]

bump

[SigKapCoug]

When i went through recruitment, I was cut by all but 3 chapters - two of which i had tried to cut - after the first round.

I don't remember being upset, and decided to focus on the three i did have (though it sucked other women we going to 10 parties.. and i went to three!).

I think you DO end up where you belong - the chapter I joined I had originally not liked much but as I got to know the women better through out the week I fell in love with the chapter. It took me an hour and a half to rank after pref (deciding between Sigma Kappa and XYZ).

I actually ended up preffing SK second, but regretted it almost instantly I was so excited to get a bid from them!

I think I'm a case where the chapter DID know better than I did about where I fit. Now, as a junior, I don't think I would have been as happy in XYZ.

Did I end up where I thought I would? No. Did i end up where I belonged? Yes.

I'll always wonder why I was cut by 10 chapters after first round, but it doesn't really matter, you know? I had no idea wtf was going with recruitment or greek life in general and I'm sure I shot myself in the foot, but I love where I am!

[adpiucf]

Realistically, "you'll end up where you were meant to" is the same sort of cliche as "Hindsight is 20/20."

In other words, s***t happens. Recruitment is competitive. You could be cut for your grades, your year in school, lack of sponsor recommendations, a "do not bid this girl" warning from an alumna, being someone else's legacy, your lack of activities/involvement, your social reputation in high school or college, your attitude, your personality, maybe even something like not looking like you fit in from *horrors* the way you dress yourself to the way you take care of yourself, or any number of factors that will never be explained to you because membership selection is private and any records are shredded following recruitment.

You're never going to get accurate feedback into why you were cut. It sucks. It's easier to get a bid on certain campuses than on others.

But at the end of the day, I hope you have better reasons for being at your university than joining a sorority.

And I hope you know that those girls who got into sororities are going to experience rejection and disappointment in their lives, too. And at some point, you may go through this again when you apply to grad school or a new job, get passed over for a student leadership position or a promotion at work.

As our moms always say, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

It's hard to accept the consolation "I'm sorry you didn't get into a sorority, but there are lots of ways to make your college experience special" when you had your heart set on getting into a sorority, but sometimes life just plays out that way.

So yes, at the end of the day, you will end up where you were meant to be. It's kind of like finding a lost of set of keys-- they're always in the last place you look.

It's disappointing to be cut from a top choice or to not get what you want, but every person on this earth goes through that kind of disappointment at some point in our lives. Even Paris Hilton.

Cheer up!

[carnation]

Amen to that and I want to star what she said about how *the girls who make the sororities that you want to be in will face failure too*. There was one girl at Auburn who made everything you could make at Auburn, everybody loved her...and right after she graduated, she killed herself with carbon monoxide. No one ever knew why. There was a set of twins at Arkansas: they were the Queen PNMs when they rushed and after they got their top sorority, they got everything they tried out for on campus. A few years later, one killed her kids and herself and the other one tried to do the same thing.

Now I realize that these are way extreme examples but I'm trying to say to the girls who were or may be cut from their dream sororities: NO ONE has a perfect life, no one! I have seen so many hysterical girls during and after rush who say that this girl or that had a perfect rush and now the rest of her life will be perfect. Nope, not gonna happen.

[UGAalum94]

Yes, I think it is worth remembering: your recruitment results may seem like a temporary setback, but it really doesn't determine the outcome of your life one way or another.

BUT, when a young women goes off to school, and she has hopes of having an amazing new chapter in her life, and she ends up getting cut from what she sees as the "beautiful people" sororities, it doesn't help her in the moment to tell her that she really only belongs in the chapters that in that moment seem to her to be not-so-great for whatever reasons.

Yes, she should be encouraged to give all the groups a try and if she signs a bid card and matches, by all means, encourage her to try to bloom where's she's planted. But don't tell her that there was really no possibility that she ever belonged in the other superstar groups unless you're just feeling mean.

And that, as I see it and I think as Carnation originally commented, is the problem with telling people they end up where they belong.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

Realistically, "you'll end up where you were meant to" is the same sort of cliche as "Hindsight is 20/20."

In other words, s***t happens. Recruitment is competitive. You could be cut for your grades, your year in school, lack of sponsor recommendations, a "do not bid this girl" warning from an alumna, being someone else's legacy, your lack of activities/involvement, your social reputation in high school or college, your attitude, your personality, maybe even something like not looking like you fit in from *horrors* the way you dress yourself to the way you take care of yourself, or any number of factors that will never be explained to you because membership selection is private and any records are shredded following recruitment.

You're never going to get accurate feedback into why you were cut. It sucks. It's easier to get a bid on certain campuses than on others.

But at the end of the day, I hope you have better reasons for being at your university than joining a sorority.

And I hope you know that those girls who got into sororities are going to experience rejection and disappointment in their lives, too. And at some point, you may go through this again when you apply to grad school or a new job, get passed over for a student leadership position or a promotion at work.

As our moms always say, "Sometimes life just isn't fair."

It's hard to accept the consolation "I'm sorry you didn't get into a sorority, but there are lots of ways to make your college experience special" when you had your heart set on getting into a sorority, but sometimes life just plays out that way.

So yes, at the end of the day, you will end up where you were meant to be. It's kind of like finding a lost of set of keys-- they're always in the last place you look.

It's disappointing to be cut from a top choice or to not get what you want, but every person on this earth goes through that kind of disappointment at some point in our lives. Even Paris Hilton.

Cheer up!

Yep. It is what it is. There's nothing you can do about it. Because it has worked out this way, this was the way is was "supposed" to happen.

But it's cold comfort when it contrasts with what a young women wanted to happen. I think we're on the same page.

[adrie435]

It is really interesting to go through this thread and read the comments from the women who truly do believe in this idea of "going where you belong". I am a firm believer in it and I, like many of the others who believe it, was dropped hard by my top sorority after pref and joined the so-called weaker chapter... Looking back, I would have been bored to death in the top chapter and sure it could have helped my social life out better than my current chapter, but I wouldn't have been nearly as active or enjoyed it as much. I think it all boils down to giving everyone a chance and if you are willing to look at everyone and not just the 'name' sorority on campus, you will end up wehre you were meant to be-- Greek Life with women who can be your best friends if you give them a chance.
Some chapter on campus may not be your idea of the 'top' sorority to join during recruitment, but they are somebody else's top tier and definately the top chapter to all the active members.