Poll on Rape

[MTSUGURL]

James, I don't think that you're qualified to make a judgement as to which is worse, harder, etc. Without going into a whole lot of detail, a lot feels the same physically, and there is still the sense of being invaded in both cases. Just because there is not a knife to your throat or a gun to your head doesn't mean that there isn't fear that your life is in danger. My exboyfriend had his arm pressed down on my throat - I was terrified that I was going to be strangled to death. By someone I trusted. I understand what you're saying, but honestly, if you've never experienced it, there's just no way that you can know.

[AlethiaSi]

I know that this is from a long time ago, however, I was raped this weekend by someone that I worked with. I've never had an experience in terms of someone i didn't know, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I'm ok, then i'm not, i cry or start throwing up for no reason, the nightmares are.... unimaginable... and yet i can't bring myself to report the f*cker who did this to me.
This is why i'm coming to the conclusion that acquaintance rape is harder, but for different reasons... i'm not ready to get into all of the intricacies yet.

[OneTimeSBX]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

I know that this is from a long time ago, however, I was raped this weekend by someone that I worked with. I've never had an experience in terms of someone i didn't know, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I'm ok, then i'm not, i cry or start throwing up for no reason, the nightmares are.... unimaginable... and yet i can't bring myself to report the f*cker who did this to me.
This is why i'm coming to the conclusion that acquaintance rape is harder, but for different reasons... i'm not ready to get into all of the intricacies yet.

Alethia, i am so sorry to hear that this has happened to yet another innocent person. i cant imagine how hard it is to have it happen to you by a person you know. i think that would shake me more than anything, that uncertainty that it could happen again. it happened to my best friend in college, and although that was 6 years ago, she is still not over it and has intimacy issues with her current fiance.

i hope you can develop the strength to relive it long enough to report him. if not, it may happen to someone else. i will pray for you, stay strong.

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

I know that this is from a long time ago, however, I was raped this weekend by someone that I worked with. I've never had an experience in terms of someone i didn't know, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I'm ok, then I'm not, i cry or start throwing up for no reason, the nightmares are.... unimaginable... and yet i can't bring myself to report the f*cker who did this to me.
This is why i'm coming to the conclusion that acquaintance rape is harder, but for different reasons... i'm not ready to get into all of the intricacies yet.

AlethiaSi;
This is not my field nor did I spend anytime recently at a Holiday Inn.
However, it is my Mother's field.
While I just saw this and have not asked her about it; I have a good idea what she would say.
While being here and talking about it may seem to be of help, it is just a way of avoiding what you need to do. See and talk to someone in Crisis Center or Rape Clinic.
And press charges.
Judging only from what you have posted, I fear that any and all evidence is now lost.
But you should still do something for yourself.
And any others that he may have done this to in the past or in the future.

[Scandia]

I think both are equally bad. Rape is always devastating.

I can see how stranger rape could be riskier- you do not know the person and do not know what diseases he may have and drugs he may use.

Weapons and sedation could be used in both cases.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

I know that this is from a long time ago, however, I was raped this weekend by someone that I worked with. I've never had an experience in terms of someone i didn't know, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I'm ok, then i'm not, i cry or start throwing up for no reason, the nightmares are.... unimaginable... and yet i can't bring myself to report the f*cker who did this to me.
This is why i'm coming to the conclusion that acquaintance rape is harder, but for different reasons... i'm not ready to get into all of the intricacies yet.

I'm so sorry you went through this. . If you need somewhere to turn, I would be willing to look up places/people in your area. I'm a social worker so I refer people all the time. Just PM me if you like.

[Drolefille]

Many hugs and thoughts and prayers. It's ok not to be ok about it. And as others have said, definately talk to someone about it, even if you can't bring yourself to report him in the end.
1-800-656-HOPE is a free, confidential 24 hour sexual assault hotline.

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by mulattogyrl

I'm so sorry you went through this. . If you need somewhere to turn, I would be willing to look up places/people in your area. I'm a social worker so I refer people all the time. Just PM me if you like.

Originally Posted by Drolefille

Many hugs and thoughts and prayers. It's ok not to be ok about it. And as others have said, definately talk to someone about it, even if you can't bring yourself to report him in the end.
1-800-656-HOPE is a free, confidential 24 hour sexual assault hotline.

Thank you both for stepping up.

[mystikchick]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

I know that this is from a long time ago, however, I was raped this weekend by someone that I worked with. I've never had an experience in terms of someone i didn't know, but this is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. I'm ok, then i'm not, i cry or start throwing up for no reason, the nightmares are.... unimaginable... and yet i can't bring myself to report the f*cker who did this to me.
This is why i'm coming to the conclusion that acquaintance rape is harder, but for different reasons... i'm not ready to get into all of the intricacies yet.

I will echo what others have said about speaking up about it, even if you never wind up reporting him. Drolefille listed a toll-free number, but you may also want to look into Take Back the Night events in your community (either on a college campus nearby or a wider community event) as a space to share your story and get it out there, or just to be around people who know what you've been through. It definitely helped a friend of mine who went through relationship rape. If you haven't already, please also get a medical exam done.

I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope that you get the courage to report him and press charges. I'm not qualified as a counselor or anything, but if you ever want a friendly ear, don't hesitate. You're in my prayers.

[AKA_Monet]

Altheia,

For your sake I hope you see a healthcare professional... You need to see somebody...

There is a clinical "kit"...

And the first issue about rape, it is about POWER and NEVER about sex!

From one person to another... Silence = death... Believe me, this is NOT a price you want to pay... I know...

[jon1856]

Just as a follow-up to all the postings here, while I am sure there are people and placed in your area, here are some sites I found in a rather general search:
http://www.safecampusesnow.org/safety_rape.htm
http://www.rainn.org/counseling-centers/index.html
http://hotpeachpages.net/usa/states.html

Best wishes and thoughts to you.
And all others.

[RU OX Alum]

i once knew a girl who was raped by her own grandfather


what a sad little girl

[honeychile]

There is a man who has a sidewalk stand on Pitt's campus, and I know for a fact that he's raped one of my sorority sisters years ago. It really irks me that anyone buys anything from him!

[RU OX Alum]

that is horrible, Honeychile

he should not be allowed around any of those girls

[AlethiaSi]

Originally Posted by mystikchick

I will echo what others have said about speaking up about it, even if you never wind up reporting him. Drolefille listed a toll-free number, but you may also want to look into Take Back the Night events in your community (either on a college campus nearby or a wider community event) as a space to share your story and get it out there, or just to be around people who know what you've been through. It definitely helped a friend of mine who went through relationship rape. If you haven't already, please also get a medical exam done.

I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope that you get the courage to report him and press charges. I'm not qualified as a counselor or anything, but if you ever want a friendly ear, don't hesitate. You're in my prayers.

THANK YOU so much to everyone that responded, I know it was shocking for me to just post this and put it out there... I feel like if I name what happened, it's scary as hell but for some reason it's cathartic or something. I am going to go see someone, and again, thank you to everyone that has reached out by listening (reading) and by providing resources. I have decided not to report it. This has been a horrible decision, but considering the circumstances, it wasn't malicious, which is hard to believe, I know, but it wasn't. It's been two weeks, and any kind of medical exam (besides getting tested, because one thing I do know is that he didn't use a condom) would bring no evidence. I am going to counseling and I just want to work through this. However, another thing is that the more people I talk to about this, the more awful awful stories I hear (worse than my own, but I know it is all relative), it makes me sick to my stomach. I would like to work in a rape crisis center (not now, but eventually... down the road) and to talk to other women (and men) that have gone through this.

It's weird, like you always think you would know what to do in a situation, but it turns out, that when you are there, you really don't know. I literally take things day by day and hope that when I go to sleep the nightmares get a little better. I also have nightmares about what happened, but about other people, my friends, family and this happening to them. I don't trust men. I always had a comfortable relationship with men, things were what they were, I didn't try to contort reality. Now, I am mistrustful, I don't like people touching me except for my close friends hugging me or something. I guess I'm just evaluating everything around me because everything is so different. I've also started praying which for the first time in my life, seems like a good thing to do (I've always felt kind of uncomfortable about it...) and it's hard, but it's getting easier to do it.

again, thank you to everyone for being there for me, the fact that none of you know me, but I know are there for me, that is not something you find, and I need it more than ever.
You are all such amazing people.