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You BETTER go to that rehearsal dinner! Tell your parents that you are going, and just go. Don't ask, don't fret, just go. Bridezilla needs to be put in her place.
And in all the "standing up to so and so" I personally think one of your parents should get on the phone to her mother and say, "BTW, I noticed our daughter wasn't on the list you gave us. Of course she will be there." It's not just up to your brother or you. If your parents are paying they can take the responsibility of informing her family of their "over-sight".
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