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You'll hate my advice.
I'd just grin and bear it. It's not your wedding. It is up to the bride to decide who her attendants are, and up to the groom to decide who his attendants are. Perhaps he is friends with his soon-to-be brothers-in-law, whereas it seems you and his fiance don't get along. This is your brother's wedding. He has to be a man if he feels his family isn't being treated fairly and speak up. I think it would be ok if you mentioned how you feel left out. I am sure a suitable compromise (IE: being a ceremony reader) can be found, and yes, per etiquette, as immediate family, you are included in the rehearsal dinner. But don't be a bitch about it. Regardless of what kind of horrible person she may or may not be, this is the bride's special day. I do sympathize over the fact that you're upset, but also put yourself in your brother's shoes and make it your role to ensure he has a happy wedding day. Also, make an effort to become friends with your sister-in-law-to-be. She's about to become your family member.
Good luck!
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