How would you have handled this?

[starang21]

Originally posted by James
To answer the original scenario:

When I was younger (like a week ago lol) I used to be really sensitive to some stuff. Its almost like I had a chip on my shoulder.

If someone said the wrong thing, or asked the wrong question, I got highly offended and felt uncomfortable.

I was super sensitized you might say. Like a bee sting, for most people its barely annoyance, some people swell up, others die right?

But during 8th grade I had an epiphany. I realized that most people didn't mean any harm at all, it was my sensitivity that was causing me harm.

For the most part, people were not being rude or what they would consider invasive, they were just genuinely curious or being friendly.

That made me realize that they didn't have a problem, I did. I had developed a problem that allowed othes to control my mental well-being without them even trying!

And it didn't do me any good. Being super sensitive was not in anyway improving the quality of my life or helping me succeed.

I realized that other people do not have an obligation to walk on egg shells because of my hang-ups. Earned hang-ups or not. It was a counterproductive way to think.

So I got over it. It took a few years for my emotional reaction to match my new intellectual understanding, but I faked it till I made it.

And with letting that go, I let other stuff go to that really wasn't all that important. It made me feel better an decreased my stress.

I just wanted to share.

another ridiculous attempt for a caucasian to tell a person of color what they should think.

lessons in perspective for $1000, alex?

[James]

I really wanted to answer with a kind of witty satirical comment, but honestly, these forums are just so civlized that I had to refrain.

Anyway, sorry you took my post so harshly Starang. Thats not the spirirt it was offered in

Originally posted by starang21
another ridiculous attempt for a caucasian to tell a person of color what they should think.

lessons in perspective for $1000, alex?

[lovelyivy84]

Starang, for a multitude of reasons I have to laugh at this one.

We cool, but you wrong on this one.

Originally posted by starang21
another ridiculous attempt for a caucasian to tell a person of color what they should think.

lessons in perspective for $1000, alex?

[Ideal08]

Originally posted by ladygreek
I began my job in April of last year. This past Christmas everyone (3 other staff) came to work on the day before Christmas Eve with gifts for everyone.

1) I didn't know they did that since nobody mentioned it, but

2) Why would I buy gifts for folx I didn't even know?

When they gave me mine, I politely thanked them but really I was ticked off because I felt it was very presumptuous of them. On top of it all, there was no love loss between the executive director and the office manager, and he fired her two months later. Talk about hypocrisy


What would you all do this year?

I don't celebrate Christmas anymore, so it won't be a problem for me. But when I was "in transition" and was just beginning to not celebrate it, I always felt conflicted. I didn't mind participating in a Secret Santa type deal, but I'm not buying something for everyone. First off, I don't like everyone, and if I buy something for one person and not for another, people get their feelings hurt and all that, so I only would buy if it were a Secret Santa situation. Last year, I was called a Scrooge, but that's cool. So I'm prepared for whatever comes this year.

I say that holiday cards are cool and should suffice. Or bake cookies and make little goodie bags or something. But you shouldn't feel obligated to buy 'real' gifts. I do still have some pink and green Christmas cards that my favorite Delta gave me, and I will still send them to sorors.

[mccoyred]

Originally posted by Ideal08


*sigh* I guess I'm a private person. A lot of people think that I'm a social butterfly, and I can be, but really, I like to keep to myself. When people try to invade my space (physically and mentally) I guess I become defensive. I think I have issues.

Girl, ain't nuthin' wrong wit' you! You are just an INTROVERT in an EXTROVERTED world!

I recently read a book called 'The Introvert Advantage' (I can't remember the author) and it described us introverts to a tee. Insight was provided on WHY we are introverts, that it is OK to be an introvert, and HOW we can capitalize on our introverted tendencies.

Anyone who can co-sign on Ideal's statement raise your hand...okay now get to the bookstore and buy this book (they may have it at the library, too)...it will truly open your eyes and help make you more confortable with your introverted self.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by starang21

lessons in perspective for $1000, alex?

Starang, leave the SBisms over there.

[Dionysus]

HC relax. relate. release. (or however the hell that goes)?

After Having it All is read, pick up this book. It has a lot of good advice in it. I skimmed through it last Saturday....

[1savvydiva]

Originally posted by ladygreek
Starang, leave the SBisms over there.

MsGreek I was thinking the same thing.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva
MsGreek I was thinking the same thing.

[starang21]

Originally posted by ladygreek
Starang, leave the SBisms over there.

lololol

for some reason, you hang out somewhere all the time...you begin to pick things up.

[starang21]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
Starang, for a multitude of reasons I have to laugh at this one.

We cool, but you wrong on this one.