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My advice would be not to call her, unless you want to work on the relationship. If you call just to tell her get control of herself that might easily be taken as a desire to rekindle the relationship.
As far as the meddling mother in law--- I can atest, from personal experience, it is hell on a relationship!!! My mom is the one who thinks my husband is not good enough for me. There is constant tension. And while my mother refrains from saying anything bad in front of our kids, she constantly questions everything my husband says.
In my position it is rough, there is my mom on one hand--the woman that single handedly raised me--and then there is my husband whom I chose to marry and have kids with. I get it from both sides. If you are going to be in a marriage with the stress of the mother in law-- you must have a wife that is strong enough to stand up to her mother. As a mother she should support her daughter in the decisions she makes, not add fuel to the fire. There have been many loud, heated battles with my mom regarding my husband.
It is not a good place to be in. You have to do what is best for yourself. A marriage full of arguments and stress from her mother is not a good way to start a marriage. You will have enough stress on your own, you don't need someone adding to that.
Good luck--- and once again, unless you want to her to misread your intentions with a phone call-- don't call!
-wendi
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