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Ew, what a situation! And Kappa, you sound like this is the LAST thing you need right now.
Please realize you AREN'T getting the money back. If you were, you would've gotten it already. I say skip the gift. If money is tight and she's already got $100 out of you for this wedding, you're good to go. She SHOULD reimburse you -- but I'd quite sure she won't.
Like the others said, if you want to save the relationship, or think you might enjoy the other attendees, then go. Otherwise just skip it and write her (and the $100, unfortunately) off.
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