Realationship Advice

[ZTAtinkerbell1]

A month ago my boyfrined (of eight months at the time) decided he needed to take a break because he is having family problems and a lot of other things to deal with... naturally I was devistated because I truely belive that he is the love of my life. He said that we should be back together once we get back to school and everything he has to deal with at home is okay but for some reason I am a little skeptical. He promised he would call me to let me know he is okay and stuff but he hasn't done that at all. However, I am not the only one he isn't keeping in contact with he hasn't been talking to his fraternity brothers too. I have no idea what to do or think right now does anyone have any words of confidence about this whole situation??

[James]

Thats a tough one. He broke up with you without really breaking up with you.

A pause. Taking this at face-value . . . . well it is true that under pressure many people do withdraw.

I guess he is saying that he can only handle you as a friend right now. Were you putting him under pressure? Like did he feel torn between meeting your needs and dealing with his family issues?

Some guys feel a little overwhelmed at times by both the idle time requirement their GF's can require as well as emotionally overloaded if their GF is a "Venter."

If he felt really supported he shouldn't have felt the need to take a break.

All I can say is that you have to look after yourself right now. Assume he broke up with you and treat it that way. Take care of yourself. Hang with your girls, explore your options.

If you guys get back together later thats great, but you can't count on it. And its unfair of him to expect you to just sit idly by and wait and suffer.

Good luck.

[PureGoldF2K1]

When I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half this past March, I initiated it by saying I needed to take a break because of lots of other stuff going on in my life. I then moved on to a full break up. I did this so I wouldn't send him into shock by just flat out dumping him. The truth is, there had been other times in our near two years together that I had a lot of major shit going on in my life, but when I was truly into the relationship, the last thing I wanted to do is take a break from him because of other things in my life. Taking a break is never a good sign.

[Queencece]

My ex and I are broken up and its something that I wanted him to initiate. I made it seem that there was alot of stuff going on and acted like I was too busy to call. When I finally did call (after 4 days of him calling and me not returning calls) we finally spoke and got into an argument and then we said that we were fully broken up.

That's fine with me because I wanted it to happen a couple of weeks before it actually happeed. I just didn't want to be the one to mention it (this particular time). The whole 9 month LDR was doomed from the 3 last months.

Anyway, its never a good sign to take a break. Assume that its for the best and HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS.

Q

[Shima-Mizu]

Originally posted by PureGoldF2K1
When I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half this past March, I initiated it by saying I needed to take a break because of lots of other stuff going on in my life. I then moved on to a full break up. I did this so I wouldn't send him into shock by just flat out dumping him. The truth is, there had been other times in our near two years together that I had a lot of major shit going on in my life, but when I was truly into the relationship, the last thing I wanted to do is take a break from him because of other things in my life. Taking a break is never a good sign.

My ex and I of 7 1/2 months parted on similiar terms. He was a real jerk to me, but I was too nice to just flat out dump him, so I got him to agree to a break which lasted for about 2 weeks before I finally went through and dumped him straight out. I had friends cheering for me when I did that too was the sad part, he was that mean, yet he cried when I broke up with him. Odd how a guy can be verbally abusive to his gf for months and still cries over when he loses her. You would have though that he had no idea what he was doing wrong or something.

So yeah, I agree, taking a break usually isn't a good sign... but you can try and keep your fingers crossed, let us know what happens.