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This is actually a kind of old phenomenon. About two years ago, there was an article about it in the NY Times. They interviewed a lot of people, most from the South, and their reasons varied. Some were actually guilty about having had premarital sex and felt that, by holding out for a year or more, they were "erasing the stain" of premarital nooky. Others, who had been living together for years, were listening to the advice of their pastors.
Says one of the women featured:
"With three months to go before her wedding, Jane Doe, 24, is deep into her prenuptial regime. She exercises with a personal trainer so her arms will look buffed in a strapless gown. She works on her tan to get rid of the swimsuit lines across her shoulders. She exfoliates her face and guzzles 124 ounces of water daily to hydrate her skin. And since July 26, three months to the day before she will say, "I do," she has been abstaining from sex with her live- in fiance, John Smith, and plans to continue until they are married.
"No more showers together," said Doe, a pharmaceuticals sales representative in Charlotte. "No sleeping in the nude. We'll kiss, and that's it."
Doe said she hopes that a period of abstinence will ensure that sparks fly during her honeymoon in the Fiji Islands, and help to clear her conscience about having strayed from the expectations that her church and family hold about premarital sex.
"The closer you get to the wedding, and you're looking for a preacher and a church, you start to feel guilty," she said of no longer being a virgin."
But wait! There's more!
"It's about guilt," countered the bridegroom's sister, 24, who-- like the bridal couple and their families--did not want to be identified to protect their privacy. "What I think is so funny is that all these guys go along with it. It fulfills their fantasy of marrying a Southern belle."
"It was a mutual decision," said a medical student in Birmingham, Ala., who didn't want his name used because he didn't want his parents to know he and his wife had ever had premarital sex. "We decided it would be better to hold off till the wedding night so it would be new and exciting. The wedding night and honeymoon were definitely better."
I can totally understand not doing it for a week or two, if holding off is going to make it new and exciting. But the guilt?! If you have ever felt guilty about having sex, that's a good sign to stop doing it.
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