Man throws woman off overpass, jumps to his death

[honeychile]

Originally posted by mu_agd
i completely agree. and even with friends there for you it's not the easiest thing to do. i watched and tried to help a friend through months of abuse from a guy she dated. and it was painful for me. i wanted nothing to do but help her. and finally she allowed us after he pushed her out a window. but this was months after it had started. so don't just say if you're in one leave. it's not easy to just get up and do that for most.

You are truly a good friend! The first things most abusers do is to isolate their "victim" from his/her family & friends.

Very few men or women go into a relationship with a potential abuser knowingly. It's usually after some sort of commitment that the degradation begins - slowly, then building up until the "victim" no longer believes in him/herself. If the "victim" tries to leave, the abuser will promise anything to stop him/her - and then, there's the "honeymoon" period. All is good. All is loving. All is perfect.

And then something happens. The "victim" overcooks the pasta, or buys the wrong brand of toilet tissue, and the abuser brings the "victim" down to the depths again. Sometimes, he/she can get away, and stay away. That's also when he/she is most likely to be killed. Protection Orders mean nothing to the abuser, except more jail time. Shelters are almost always full to capacity, and lucky is the "victim" who has a secret friend where he/she can hide.

I put the word "victim" in quotes because I feel that we need more education on this topic, so there are more survivors and less victims. I am not a victim, I am a survivor (although my daughter was a victim). We need to get this topic out in the open, and teach our younger people how NOT to get involved in an abusive relationship, or to become an abuser. I don't pretend to know exactly how to do this, but I know a duck when I see it.

As for Whitney Houston, I'd say shame on her for being such a poster girl for domestic violence, but I have this strange feeling that she needs more prayers and less condemnation.

Sorry for getting emotional.