My dilemma!!!

Originally posted by Imperial11
Okay, here goes!!!!

I have been dating a guy (not the one who gave me the bracelet back in '02) for about 7 months now and I need advice. He is a really sweet, compassionate, and "family oriented" man. Anywho, we've had many discussions about our futures as far as possible marriage and children together are concerned. My problem with him so far is that he feels that a husband and wife should split all expenses (household bills and entertainment) 50/50. His arguement is that a marriage is a partnership. I agree with the "partnership" thing but feel that splitting bills in half equals "roomates", not husband and wife. When my parents were together, my father paid all of the household bills and my mother made sure the house was stocked with detergent, toothpaste, food, etc. She also bought clothes for me and my brother. Since this is what I saw growing up, I'm programmed to believe that this is what a man does. He's a provider for his family. He says I'm selfish because my motto is, "I'm either going to pay all of the bills or very few of them and if I'm paying them all, you ain't gonna be here".

Like I said before, I really care about him and could see us being together long term, but money is a very important issue for me and we are already bumping heads about it. I just don't see how a marriage could work if a couple is already bickering about who pays for what during the dating period. So my questions are:

1) Am I being unrealistic?
2) Am I being selfish?
3) Is it too early to even be thinking about this type stuff?
4) How likely is it that his perspective will change?

BTW, here are a few facts about us just in case it makes a difference to anyone:

He's 29 & I'm 23
He already has a child
It's highly likely that I'll always make more money than him

1) NO. A marriage is a collaborative effort built upon a spirit of cooperation. The times that you live in call for each person in the union to step up to whatever role is needed in the household. I will say this the only way you can compare this relationship to your parents is if this man is just like your daddy and if you are just like your momma and I'm sure even they had a bump in the road and had to learn how to compromise.

2) Yes and No. I'd suggest counseling with someone live in person. Don't rule it out because you are getting free internet counseling from us by posing your dilemma here. So you believe in counseling. You just need to change up the arena and include your man in it. You both have money issues. You need to understand his and he needs to understand yours.

3) I dunno. How long y'all been datin?

4) Not very