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a simple explanation
as to why she didn't join a sorority as an undergrad would suffice, although i doubt that anyone would ask why she didn't join that particular group while in college. something such as " i wasn't able to join a sorority at that particular time" should be an acceptable answer. ai may take awhile, so while you are waiting on ai, you might check out another organization such as jr. woman's club or jr. league. or volunteer some time with the philanthrophy that the sorority you hope to join sponsors. you might meet sorority members there who might aid you in your quest.
as for our other poster thinking of pursuing ai with a friend, it might be better if you each pursue ai separately-not at different times necessarily. you might both independently pursue ai at the same time, but don't make it look like a "package deal", to the sorority in question. best of luck to all pursuing ai.
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