Blast from the past...

OtterXO · #1 03-15-2004, 08:52 PM

Hey all, so I dated a guy for my first 3 years of college and we broke up at the end of my junior year. I really just felt like I was missing out on something and wanted to be on my own for awhile. It wasn't the most amicable break up and we haven't seen each other or really spoken since then (2000). So out of the blue this guy e-mails me and I'm not quite sure why he has done this. I'm not the type to be friends with an ex and obviously we are NOT friends (there's some things he said about me that I definitely don't appreciate). So what's the deal? Do I e-mail him back or does that mean that we are friends if I do? Not quite sure what to do in this situation...any input is appreciated!

James · #2 03-15-2004, 09:00 PM

I would be courteous but not really interested in forcing a friendship or renewed love affair.

So be polite.

OtterXO · #3 03-15-2004, 09:07 PM

The problem is that it's hard to be polite b/c I kind of think he's a jackass. I never had anything negative to say about him when we broke up, but he said some really hurtful things about me. If I don't respond then I'm the bitch (again) and if I do I feel like I would want to tell him to go screw himself. Arghh-is there a middle ground? How can I be polite but let him know that I don't want to be friends?

mattpike · #4 03-15-2004, 09:15 PM

let him know how you feel. and at least tell him not to waist his time anymore. but like james said, be polite as you can and still get your point across. sometimes people dont think when they are hurt or angry, and the negative comments are a childish way of making themselves feel better.

James · #5 03-15-2004, 09:21 PM

In this case, wouldn't acknowledge the email. Pretend you never got it. how would he know. As far as you being the bitch, well I don't know him so I am totally on your side: Fuck him and his point of view

Quote:

Originally posted by OtterXO
The problem is that it's hard to be polite b/c I kind of think he's a jackass. I never had anything negative to say about him when we broke up, but he said some really hurtful things about me. If I don't respond then I'm the bitch (again) and if I do I feel like I would want to tell him to go screw himself. Arghh-is there a middle ground? How can I be polite but let him know that I don't want to be friends?

chideltjen · #6 03-16-2004, 01:42 AM

I always kinda wonder when people you haven't heard from for over 2 years suddenly contact you for no apparent reason. I almost think that the other person needs something and you were a name in an address book.

Point being, you haven't heard or seen this guy in over 2 years right? I wouldn't write back. Let him think that you changed your email address and the one he wrote to doesn't exist anymore. And if you see him in person out of the blue, just say you never got it.

valkyrie · #7 03-16-2004, 02:02 AM

It is not bitchy at all to not respond to someone who said terrible things about you. Even if you respond and try to be nice, there's a good chance that he'll spin it to make you sound like a bitch anyway. You said you think he's a jackass, so I can't imagine a reason that would make it worthwhile to bother with him again.

wrigley · #8 03-16-2004, 05:35 AM

It sounds like he's pulling a high fidelity moment. He's analyzing past relationship. Let him get therapy with a professional and leave him in the past.

Lady Pi Phi · #9 03-16-2004, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
It is not bitchy at all to not respond to someone who said terrible things about you. Even if you respond and try to be nice, there's a good chance that he'll spin it to make you sound like a bitch anyway. You said you think he's a jackass, so I can't imagine a reason that would make it worthwhile to bother with him again.

I agree with valkyrie. There is no need to respond to him.
If you have no interest in him anymore then you should care if he thinks you're a bitch for not responding. You aren't being a bitch. You just don't want to speak to him. So don't.

OtterXO · #10 03-16-2004, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
It sounds like he's pulling a high fidelity moment. He's analyzing past relationship. Let him get therapy with a professional and leave him in the past.

I think this is what is going on. I feel like he needs something from me to move on but because of the things he said about me post-breakup I really don't want to give him the satisfaction. It's either that or he's feeling nostalgic and wants to meet up which is SO not going to happen!

James · #11 03-16-2004, 10:15 PM

I thought that also but i couldn't remember the name of that john cusack movie lol.

Although, an EX is the last one i would ask for a character analysis

Quote:

Originally posted by wrigley
It sounds like he's pulling a high fidelity moment. He's analyzing past relationship. Let him get therapy with a professional and leave him in the past.