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Old 02-18-2004, 04:51 PM
FirstAndFinest FirstAndFinest is offline
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I have to agree with ADPiUCF. You have to set a boundary, and as Honey pointed out, it will be hard to do. Tha is not to say impossible. Be clear in terms of what you will or won't do. Speak in the "I" not the "you" (eg "I feel... when you say/do..." not "You do this to me and I don't like it"). This woman has spent a lifetime acting this way and cannot change overnight. She won't change at all, unless she wants to. SO, don't expect a change from her - YOU need to change, and it sounds like you want to!! It is HEALTHY for us to set (and KEEP) boundaries for others! You are not being mean, ugly or hateful by setting your boundaries in a loving and caring manner. You and your family are not helping her by feeding into her behaviours. Be strong! Be kind! And let us know how it goes!!

L&L,
Leslie
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