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Your family needs to sit down and have a family meeting. You've helped your neighbor through a very tough time, but now she is beginning to take advantage.
From this family meeting, I gather you will determine that you will all agree that although your neighbor is greiving, she is taking advantage of you.
And then, mom and dad need to make a date with the neighbor.
Your parents should kindly but firmly tell your neighbor that while they're glad to have been there for her in her time of need, the entire family has sat down and decided that the family needs to ease away from the constant visiting, phone calling and helping. They're next door if there is a medical emergency or to borrow a cup of sugar, or even an occasional dinner together, but the constant calling and checking in can't go on.
That is in a perfect world, of course. Your parents have to be up for putting their foot down.
So in the meantime, you need to tell your mom and dad that you would like to have a family meeting about this. If they don't agree, than you need to politely yet firmly inform them that while you feel for your neighbor's grief, you have put in a good amount of helping her and it is interfering with your life. In other words, you will not be visiting the neighbor on a regular basis anymore.
Next, visit with your neighbor. Bring her a sweet treat or some flowers. Tell her proud you are of her for coming through such a tough time. And tell her that you're glad to have been there for her and now it is time for you to go back to your normal schedule with work and school, but you look forward to remaining neighborly and wish her the best.
There should be an active adult center in your town where seniors can go to play cards, visit with one another, have coffee and do art, etc. This neighbor could benefit greatly from going here a few times a week. Most times, the center has a bus that picks the person up.
Good luck and be strong! And firm!
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