I hope the women of DELTA SIGMA THETA, Sorority Incorporated don't mind me posting, but I will share with you an answer I received in regards to a non-member purchasing 'nalia... period.
I was always taught that it is a NO-NO for non members to touch, wear, break(by accident) or purchase 'nalia if you are not a member of a BGLO... even if you mean it as a gift for those who are. However, I was also taught that it was okay to make or buy cards, buy useful objects that were the orgs. colors (I don't know about hand painting the letters though?), purchase stuffed animals that are symbolic to the org., or to simply say congradulations (but only if you are sincere).
I hope this is useful for the gifts that you plan to purchase for your friend.
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