What Would You Say/Do If This Happened 2 U?

[Positive Kay]

OK, here's the situation......

I'm madly in love with my boyfriend of five years, three months, and twenty one days?
I feel that it is OK to talk to your ex-boyfriends if they understand your boundry. Well....I talked to one of my ex boyfriends (9th grade to 1/2 of 11th grade relationship) on the phone the other night. The convo started out as usual, "how are you?" "what you been up to", you know that sort of thing. As it got late, he started to slow down on the convo, you know, not saying too much. I then asked him if he would like to get off and go to bed. He then said "No, I want to get off on you in bed". Well I was shocked because of all the convos we've had since we broke up, he hasn't said anything like that in a LONG time (up until a year or so after the break up). I didn't get off of the phone with him. It was like I knew that I should have but I just didn't. Instead I let him continue to ask me this question in as many different ways as he could think of. Believe me, I said NO every time he asked, and meant it, my man is enough for me. I think that I was just so flattered that he was still interested. Because of me staying on, he kept saying things like " you know that you want to", "what you scared of", etc... So.. what would you have done?

[sparkles]

Positive Kay,

I understand where you are coming from. After being flattered the first time he asked, I would have answered his question with a question; 'Does he respect you or your relationship enough to know when no is no?' (Obviously he doesn't because he kept asking)

I think everyone feels good when you know your ex is still attracted to you, but I find it very disrespectful when someone tries to make me deceive another. I am definitely the type that 'would rather leave than to cheat.' I cannot stand being lied to, so I am not going to lie to anyone else.

sparkles

[dyhardque]

If you are madly in love with your current boyfriend, why would you disrespect him and your relationship by having any dealings with someone that will not respect your relationship? Did you tell your current boyfriend about that conversation? If not, does'nt he have a right to know? I think that I would have a right to know if someone was trying to swoon my woman. I understand that it was flattering, but the best thing is to avoid a situation and temptation

And I'm gone
Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc.
Spr. 94
Mu Beta

[kiml122]

I think you should have told him, "No" means "NO". Also you should have asked him why was he disrepecting you and your current relationship? I think you should have discontinued the call after he would not let it go!!

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Peace
KL

[Positive Kay]

I thank you all for your responses.

dyhardque: I dealt with my ex-boyfriend because he DID have respect for my relationship or at least he portrayed to have respect. And YES, I am madly in love with my boyfriend. I've been with him for 5 years and I have NEVER been tempted to cheat. My boyfriend's self esteem is very high, he doesn't have to worry. I told my boyfriend about it the very next day and was having NO second thoughts about it. And I did avoid the situation by not calling my ex back like he asked me to. I was TOTALLY shocked by it, that's why I even listened. It came out of no where.

Everybody: My ex has been in the military for a year. Since then, he feels that he is un/indistructable (sp?) (no body can harm him). I think that is why he grew the b#@ls to even ask.

Here's my motto when it comes to my boyfriend: Why go back to a syrup sandwich (my ex) when you have that mega-super-dooper sub that has everything that you like on it (my man)? (I like using these examples) Then you may ask, what if a man attempts to be with you and you don't know what kind of sandwich he is? My answer is....I don't want to possibly dissapoint myself, because I have what I have, and that is MY BABY!!!

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Set your goal!! Strive!! Bask in your reward!!

Positive Kay

[This message has been edited by Positive Kay (edited August 17, 2000).]

I would have told him no and that I wasn't interested. I would also avoid having long conversations other than hi and goodbye. The reason I say this is temptation. Because this very thing is happening to a friend of mine. Her ex went into the army for 4 years, came back, and did the same thing to her.
Even though she said no the first time, her ex kept asking. A few days had passed, but she kept thinking about it, which meant his words got to her. They started conversating more and more. Soon she felt comfortable enough with him to share the details of her current relationship. She told him all the things her man doesn't or won't do, and then the ex started doing what she wanted or needed. She then started thinking about how she could secretly see her ex, then it evolved to leaving her boyfriend, and based on what she told me, my thinking is all that the guy wants is sex.
So be careful and don't get in too deep like my friend is now.



[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited August 17, 2000).]