Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for Southern California

[RedRoseSAI]

Here's the Chicago version:


Highland Park Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with a Lexus or BMW SUV, with a nav system because she gets lost easily. She has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Optional traffic-jamming cell phone and matching gym outfits are sold separately.

Cicero Barbie: This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9-mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a low-rider Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows, and a Meth-Lab Ken. A Mexican version is also available.

Lincoln Park Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped-up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card, and shallow Ken.

Peoria Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light And a Hank, Jr.CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Ken's ass when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Halsted Barbie: This Barbie actually comes in two variations. One has long gray hair, no makeup, flat feet in Birkenstocks, and a mutt. The other has boy-cut brown highlighted hair, Abercrombie T-shirt and cargo pants, combat boots, and a pit bull.

Humboldt Park Barbie: This bitch of a Barbie comes with a knife to stab other Barbies in the back, miniskirt, and tons of makeup. Work continues on development of a companion "Hyde Park Barbie" but the prototype keeps getting herself shot.

Lake Forest and Kenilworth Barbie: This True Blonde shops exclusively in town. She has an MBA from Northwestern but has never worked outside the home. She drives a Land Rover (sold separately). Her child's stroller is bigger than your house, and her tennis trophies are discreetly hidden behind CEO Ken's golf trophies. She knows enough Spanish to talk with the nanny; Tagalog to speak to the Filipino cook; and Polish for the housekeeper and painter respectively. Her family owns a winery in Napa, but she buys cases of "2-Buck Chuck" at Trader Joe's, hence the need for the rear-loading Land Rover.

Berwyn Barbie: Big hair sprayed black with overdone makeup and housecoat. Cooks up a mean batch of meatballs, and great lasagna. Comes with plastic covered sofas.

Wrigleyville Barbie: Cubs hat and tank top, bleacher tan, Kosher hot-dog, and overpriced Old Style in hand.