Quote:
Originally posted by StrangeFruit
I thought she was joking (she has a dry sense of humor at times) and laughed it off.
I just want a healthy relationship with my mother and I don't think it's healthy right now. I still feel that it's my fault and that I need to do something other than distance myself, but that's what I may have to do, as so many have suggested.
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Unless both of you are laughing its not a joke, if you have to question at all the intent of the punchline its not a joke. Making excuses for your mom's bad behavior is not going to land you in the good daughter category - it will only leave you confused, angry and bitter.
In order to have a healthy relationship both parties have to want it...and from what you have written that doesn't seem to be the case right now. Please don't take on responsibility for your mothers actions or choices she has made. You are only responsible for your own. Seek out and accept the type of nuturing relationship that you need elsewhere. It took a long time for me to realize that the relationship I was seeking was there all along-people who supported me and stood behind me no matter what. I just had to stop feeling guilty about having this type of relationship with someone other than my mom....and guess what? in time my mom has started to treat me as an adult. I have no idea if we'll ever have the type of relationship that I'd want to have with my own daughter...but I've accepted that she's doing the best she can...even if her best isn't good enough for me...and there's nothing to feel guilty about acknowledging your own needs.
Nothing about this is your fault. Its just the hand you were dealt with. I agree with the others who have encouraged you to pray on this, the correct answer for you will come.
Hybrid Mode
