Mental Health and Taboo topics in OUR community

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

(((((to all of us))))

This lack of discussion and lack of seeing brown female faces in the therapist's chair is why I am so adamant about going into the field of psychology. There are too many of us and our other sisters of color (and sisters, PERIOD) that are suffering in silence because of cultural issues, lack of access and other issues.

*sigh*

yes, therapy is essential in combination with the meds. I have been anti-depressant med free for over ten years (after being on them for nearly ten years,) but I still make lay on that couch when needed.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

(((((to all of us))))

This lack of discussion and lack of seeing brown female faces in the therapist's chair is why I am so adamant about going into the field of psychology. There are too many of us and our other sisters of color (and sisters, PERIOD) that are suffering in silence because of cultural issues, lack of access and other issues.

*sigh*

When you are able to see clients, I will come see you!

I think there is silence because of "stigma" attached... When you tell folks, they can turn tables on you and throw it back up in your face. It has happened a dozen or so times in my life alone. That is why I do not talk to people about when I see similarities with my situation in others...

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

When you tell folks, they can turn tables on you and throw it back up in your face.

That happens a lot. For example, I have an acquaintance who shared her story with people she thought she could trust. When something seemingly unrelated happened, she was told "weren't you on antidepressants? That explains why you can't keep a man" by someone who was being messy.

Also, many people don't know much about these conditions so they say things like what I mentioned earlier "just pray about it" when they are told. That can be interpreted as rather dismissive.

[Ideal08]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

When something seemingly unrelated happened, she was told "weren't you on antidepressants? That explains why you can't keep a man" by someone who was being messy.

Wow. Just. Wow.

Darling1, I remember those convos as well.

I have to wonder if a lot of women don't say anything or seek help because they aren't aware that something is wrong. They think they're just "tired" all the time. Or being scatterbrained. It's almost as if you have to be suicidal to even consider having a mental health issue. Which my ex-boyfriend did mention to me once. I was trying to talk to him about how I felt and how it affected our relationship and he said, "I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like you're about to slit your wrists." I mean, dang, does it have to get to that point?

I can't expect everyone to understand cuz I don't understand all of it all the time. But I'm at least open-minded and willing to educate myself on it. Who knew I'd be all up in the DSM-IV, lol. But I guess I have to because I'm not trusting enough to trust what the therapist says. I need to research and see if she's right, lol. Especially when meds become involved. I need to be informed.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by Ideal08

I have to wonder if a lot of women don't say anything or seek help because they aren't aware that something is wrong. They think they're just "tired" all the time. Or being scatterbrained. It's almost as if you have to be suicidal to even consider having a mental health issue. Which my ex-boyfriend did mention to me once. I was trying to talk to him about how I felt and how it affected our relationship and he said, "I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like you're about to slit your wrists." I mean, dang, does it have to get to that point?

I know how hard it is to FEEL like I am being heard and understood. Sometimes it is our tactics we are using. We feel strongly that what we are doing is the right course of action, when really it is too much or too little of those neurotransmitters and vitamins coursing through our brains that cause hasty generalizations and what might be considered irrational conclusions. It seems one practically actually has to get to the point of jumping to feel like they are being heard and understood. Most folks need validation and reflectiveness with assertive or less "accusations".

All this to say sometimes for some people it does have to get to that point...

Your ex invalidated your feelings... Feelings do not know the difference between right and wrong--they just feel. To master them, one has to reach a place of balance and then respond, it is usually through breath and the conduit of water.

Originally Posted by Ideal08

I can't expect everyone to understand cuz I don't understand all of it all the time. But I'm at least open-minded and willing to educate myself on it. Who knew I'd be all up in the DSM-IV, lol. But I guess I have to because I'm not trusting enough to trust what the therapist says. I need to research and see if she's right, lol. Especially when meds become involved. I need to be informed.

When incidents or episodes happen to me, I cannot "place" me anymore--where is my "soul" or "essence" when it all happened. It used to be over there removed, but now, I am all up into the mix, right there when it happens--sometimes causing it!!!

And I, too have heavily educated myself. My path is different, I pursued an alternative medicine, except when one of the symptoms of Bipolar is extreme religiousity... So, I have to slow myself down and become balanced. I can do that now than when I was a kid... However, I still connect with my core of "therapi"--in fact, I just had to fire one of them because what she was asking me to do was fight for a cause I no longer believed in and it was fcuking with me... I chose not to suffer that battle and move on... Do I wonder "what ifs" or hayle yes... But, that's when I start counting simple blessings, like air... When it is overwhelming, that is when I place a call--normally when the "bad tapes" start reeling in my head... My core therapi group is on it, check my blood, talk to me, make sure nothing is off and send me on my way...

Overtime, it is okay and there aren't that many rollercoaster rides as their use to be. But, it is far from perfect.

[darling1]

the stigma and just general ignorance is why many communities keep mental illness behind closed doors. personally, i have had convos with my mother that have made me wonder why i opened up at all. recently, she called me about something and i was in the middle of dressing my child for school. i was irritated and a bit aloof--i simply wasnt trying to have a convo with her at that time. she called my husband later that day and in the course of the discussion asked if i were on my meds. i was so irritated and it hurt for a few reasons. the one thing i realized is that i shouldnt be upset. she is not in HER right mind and i have done alot of work to pull myself out of the depths of ptsd, bipolar, mpd, depression hole.

i feel that the crux of why many of us feel sometimes stuck in our respective illnesses is because we struggle to regain the control that was taken from us. one of the main reasons why i share my story is because it gives me back a bit of that control that i lost so many years ago. if people want to judge me because of my illness, i just shrug my shoulders--most of the time . i am not my illness nor am i my experiences.

it is so important to be an informed consumer. do as much research as you possibly can. it was so frustrating at the beginning stages, 10 yrs back when i was struggling to find out what was wrong with me and then to find the right cocktail of medication that brought some normalcy to my life. having a supportive husband and i good therapist was very key.

[darling1]

i jus thought i would post this as an option. this is a program that i found through my church and it has been beneficial so far. it is a safe and non-judgemental environment.



http://www.saddlebackchurch.com/celebraterecovery/

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by darling1

i jus thought i would post this as an option. this is a program that i found through my church and it has been beneficial so far. it is a safe and non-judgemental environment.



http://www.saddlebackchurch.com/celebraterecovery/

Looks awesome!!! How many people attend each of those sessions? How long have you all been doing these groups? Was it easy to set up in the beginning? I ask because I have not seen a lot of that up where I live and I was wondering why it has not been done.

I am sure the churches up here "in the community" have substance abuse groups, but they don't have co-dependent groups, etc.

[neosoul]

((((hugs to all))))

therapy is SOOOO crucial, even if you don't speak, and just lay on the couch and catch a few zzzs (like me), having that space that you can call yours and feel comfortable enough to be totally honest and speak about what's going helps soo much

[txdiva]

((((hugs to all))))

I'm glad that this thread is up. I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression last year, and it's a very difficult topic to discuss with people who just don't know or can't relate. I'm happy to know that I'm not alone and maybe we can get through this together.

[SigKapAngel767]

I am in awe of you ladies. Thank you for sharing your stories. I am in complete admiration of your strength and courage.

[nikki1920]

And you will get the Sistagurl hook up, especially if you can connect me with some pharmaceutical companies.. lol..

It just scares me to think of how many of us (women, in general) are suffering NEEDLESSLY because we are SO worried about how other people will perceive us if they knew our secret. If those people look at you differently, then they weren't your friend to begin with.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by nikki1920

And you will get the Sistagurl hook up, especially if you can connect me with some pharmaceutical companies.. lol..

It just scares me to think of how many of us (women, in general) are suffering NEEDLESSLY because we are SO worried about how other people will perceive us if they knew our secret. If those people look at you differently, then they weren't your friend to begin with.

Ms Nikki by the time you are ready to see clients, I think the pharmas will know who are are already...

@bolded: Aside from sounding like my grandma and mom, there are "cultural" or "heritage" reasons why women feel that way. When I say culture, I mean geography... IMHO, I do get beyond how people perceive me, somedays. Call it life experiences and getting older. Yet, our culture is one that relies on social nature for most people. It gives credence to our choices, it assists us in pursuing higher goals, then when we have tired from that realm, we move somewhere else hopefully beyond...

I don't know if women hide necessarily, I think they shutdown to less than expected. I think the research shows that men are more prone to actually go along "the act"... However, I do think women are beginning to catch up.

[nikki1920]

My church started a health care ministry about 2 years ago. We are just now beginning to expand into mental health.

I am an informed consumer. I read about the medicine, its generic form (I *heart wal mart for its $4 prescriptions), typical dosage, possible side effects, when to stop taking it, etc.

[ladygreek]

My question is are the churches prostylizing in these groups?