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Old 10-14-2003, 01:15 PM
jh124 jh124 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 144
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my husband and I have two different solutions to the same problem, and he just keeps on and on, day in and day out, about how he's right and I'm wrong, without listening to a word I say.
If you can afford it, try the couseling. We tried to handle things ourselves, but the resentments built up. We would get so angry we would talk over one another. It was an unhealthy cycle we couldn't get out of. The nice thing about couseling is that you have a neutral third party to point out what you both are doing wrong. Yes, it's expensive, but it has been really worth it for us.

I wish I had some good advice to give you on how to solve the problem yourself. Believe me, we tried. But different things work for different people.

One thing we had to accept (which is hard, trust me) is that while I love DH more than anyone in the world, he is not an extension of me. He does things differently. Not better, not worse, just different. I have to let it go. We didn't get married until ages 29 and 32, and we were so used to doing things for ourselves on our own, that it was/is very difficult to do things a different way. It drives him crazy that I do things my way.

The hardest thing, I imagine for you, is to be told day in, day out, that you're wrong. The resentment would really build up in me, if I were in your situation. Have you told him how that makes you feel?
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