Oh.
My.
GAWD.
That's just NOT right. I rag on my MIL all the time, but even she wouldn't pull a stunt like that!
I think you and Mr. dzrose need to have a chat. Yes, he got his arm twisted, but a decision like that should have been made by the both of you together.
Then, the two of you need to go to your FFIL and FBIL and tell them in no uncertain terms that NO, you can't do it and NO, they cannot walk all over you. Putting the uncle up will set a very dangerous precedent in your marriage and in your relationship with his family. You need to present a united front - don't let Mr. dzrose say "We've decided not to house Uncle Joe because dzrose said she didn't want to" - it has to be clear that this is a decision the two of you have made together.
Good luck.
ETA: They say putting him in an assistance program would be "throwing him away" but they're more than happy to foist him off on you?? Nice.
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