|
I signed up with a different screen name to post this. I am a regular poster on GC and didn't want to come out with this to everyone.
I have had an abortion. I was 19 and the man was a close friend of mine. We had just gone through a tramatic experience together, and we were very emotional. So while we were consoling each other one night, we began to kiss and one thing led to another. I was on the pill, he used a condom, and yet four weeks later, I found out I was with child.
I was devastated. My parents did not know that I had ever been with a man at all, and yet this had happened. I called him and his exact words were "well, what are you going to do? and before you decide let me just tell you, if you choose to have this child I will not be there, I will pay child support, but I will not help you raise it. And remember you will be ruining that childs life, my life and your life."
That is what I had to hear before I made a HUGE decision. I was raised Catholic, my father was very religious- not to mention I am an only child. I couldn't face going to them and telling them this news, and alone, since he was not willing to be there for me. I called my best friend and she came over, we talked for a long time. My parents would have thrown me out- I know for a fact. I was so upset. But in the end I found that it was the right decision for ME.
Oh, and by the way it is NOT cheap to get this done. He called his uncle, who is a SENATOR and borrowed money. It was $500. I was 10 weeks along- you can't have it done before 6 and after 12 it changes to a different form. When they did the ultrasound they found some problems with the baby- he wasn't developing right- but that was irrelavant.
I have never regretted my decision. I have never dwelled on it. I haven't been tortured or beaten by it. I wonder what God will say when I come to him on my judgement day- but I know that it will be HIM that decides my fate, not any one else, not any Pro Life person. I have asked his forgiveness and prayed that I was making the right decision.
I believe I did. The other women that were there- there were 10 in all- were not what you would have expected. One was a younger woman than I was- only 14, her mother had to come with her and sign a form. One woman was married and had 4 children. They couldn't financially afford another one, her husband was with her. One woman was a prostitute, strung out on drugs, her pimp had given her the money. I didn't speak with the other women.
Now, you can flame me or ask questions, and I will answer as best as I can. I only ask that no one here judge me. I thought a different perspective would help.
And also, just for the record, I always said I was prochoice, but couldn't do it myself. And I will never have another one, unless I am raped. I feel now I am old enough, more mature and capable of raising a child, with or without a man to help.
|
Threaded Mode