for AIs and hopeful PNAMs

LouisaMay · #1 08-18-2003, 06:57 PM

I'm just wondering what kind of a response you have been given to your decision to become involved in a sorority later in life. My husband is being wonderfully support (he knows how much I regretted passing up a bid 'cause he was there!), but I will be really hesitant to share my plan and the results with anyone else. I think even my closest friends (all college grads...non-Greek) would think I had gone crazy! Really...I'm the only one of my friends who is married, and they think I've got it all together...relationship, career, etc. I really hope people don't think that I'm just trying to re-live the college days. CutiePie2000 already shared her feelings on this in a PM, and I'm just curious to know how the reaction has been for the rest of you.

LM

LPIDelta · #2 08-18-2003, 10:43 PM

LM,
What an interesting question-- I hadn't really thought about it until you asked. I know people from my past think I am weird to have joined DPhiE and gotten involved at the level that I have. Some of them are sisters from my chapter!

One of my good friends told me that a former sorority sister (one from my local that colonized) said basically that I was pathetic and that sorority was for college only. It hurt but I knew I was in this for the right reasons-- being Greek with a local in college changed my life. In some ways it saved it-- it gave me people to be responsible to and standards to strive for and values to live by. I chose AI because I wanted to make sure that other young women could have a similar experience. Going Greek can be a transformational experience. I believed that I could have an impact on my organization and on Greek Life-- and I hope that by living our values and mission that I do.

As far as that former 'sister'-- I can't believe I voted to give her a bid! She missed the point of sisterhood entirely.

I've seen your other posts-- you're in this for the right reasons. You will make a difference for whatever group is lucky to get you. Your friends, if they are true, should support you no matter what. And if they don't, you'll soon have a whole new group of sisters who will. That may not ease your angst over this-- but it is something to think about and treasure.

Best of luck to you!!

Sistermadly · #3 08-18-2003, 11:10 PM

A few people who don't know me well regarded it with skepticism. Even a few of the actives at the local chapter thought it was a little odd that someone in her 30s was still into greek life (but when your'e 18, you think 30 is old, so I forgave them). But my close friends and family members who are in GLOs (especially those who are in the NPHC) completely understood and supported my decision to find a Greek home post-college.

Now that I've found such a welcoming and accepting (and simply FABULOUS) group of women in Alpha Phi, I'm anxious to share it with other women who felt their sorority days had to be left behind when they graduated from university. Greek life: not for four years - for a LIFETIME!

pinkyphimu · #4 08-18-2003, 11:58 PM

although i am not an ai, i can tell you that i have friends both greek and nongreek who think i am crazy for still being involved with phi mu! some of my chapter sisters have even teased me about it. only one has actually offended me with her comments!!! i realize that just as greek life is not for everyone, not everyone thinks that being greek should go beyond college. the only thing i know is that i am doing what i think is right and what is important to me. luckily, i have met some great women in my alum chapter and have the privilage of working with my collegiate chapter to hopefully show them that phi mu really is for life. lm, i think that you may encounter some criticism, but you can't worry about what everyone else thinks! you can always tell them that they might feel differently *when* they are going through the ai process, too!!!

tinydancer · #5 08-19-2003, 12:29 AM

My friends who know what I am doing are incredibly supportive!! The alums that I have met so far in Gryffindor are extremely welcoming to me. One said that she was already thinking of me as a sister.

Don't let age be a barrier. Heck, I am 51 and this is what I have always wanted to do. A short year ago, I found out that it is possible. What a thrill that was for me.

Jill1228 · #6 08-19-2003, 05:12 AM

DH is supportive, although he is clueless.

I love him though.
Some probably think I am having a midlife crisis. (I am 36). Listen honey, if you see me rolling around in a candy apple red convertible with an 18 year old boy toy...THEN talk to me about midlife crisis!

As far as my family...I haven't told them...I am not close with them AT ALL. One of the only ones who probably would understand is my cousin Meredith...she is a KKG. But I think my other cousins who are in GLOs would be cool with it.

I think most of my family would be like "huh?"
Hell, if I had known about AI back then, I woulda done it LONG ago!

It is late and I bet I am really rambling!

navane · #7 08-19-2003, 05:50 AM

As far as my situation goes, I'm not sure many people really know about it! I remember when I was in an academic honor society as an undergrad, my sister saw that it had Greek letters and didn't understand that it wasn't a sorority. She would tease me with "Delta, Delta, Delta, Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?" just because that's a famous line from TV or something. (Though, after explaining a bazillion times, she finally got it!)

She and our roommate did know about my going to informal recruitment my final semester and they were a little bit perplexed....but they didn't poke fun or anything.

Now that I'm pursuing AI, I think the only person who knows is my boyfriend. Funny enough, he's British and they don't have sororities and fraternities here. So, he's a bit bemused, he keeps asking me if it's like the Masons. I think he keeps asking that just to wind me up!

There is one good friend of mine who is anti-greek.

Back in college, she would have totally flipped out if I had joined. Now, I am sorta worried about how to tell her or how she might find out. I'm not ashamed of it, not at all! It's just that people like her are hard to convince and, really, I don't need or want a screaming lecture about the degradation of women or about how individuality is not gained by paying to conform to society or something like that. Though, after all these years, I think she accepts that I am a very different person from her. She's calmed down a little bit over the years and she might actually have a rational discussion about it with me.

Outside of one pro-greek aunt (my cousin is a Sigma Chi), I have an overall feeling that my friends and family "won't get it." However, I'm sure they'll shrug their shoulders and go along with it. After all, I'm a university administrator and they'll probably just think that it fits along with what I do for a living or something.

PNAM,

.....Kelly

LouisaMay · #8 08-19-2003, 09:06 AM

Thanks for the great comments! Our feelings are all so similar, so once again I'm feeling the GC warm & fuzzies

I'm with you Kelly...my ultimate goal is to be a college professor, so I think my friends and family will just figure that Little Women goes with the whole career package.

LM

Jill1228 · #9 08-24-2003, 01:13 AM

Saturday Night Live did the Tri Delt skit and did the Delta Delta Delta can I help ya, help ya, help ya?

I heard back in the day some Tri delt chapters actually answered there phone that way

Quote:

Originally posted by navane
As far as my situation goes, I'm not sure many people really know about it! I remember when I was in an academic honor society as an undergrad, my sister saw that it had Greek letters and didn't understand that it wasn't a sorority. She would tease me with "Delta, Delta, Delta, Can I help ya, help ya, help ya?" just because that's a famous line from TV or something. (Though, after explaining a bazillion times, she finally got it!)
.....Kelly