Quote:
Originally posted by MoxieGrrl
Ginger, you made some very good points. Even though we disagree, I can understand what you are saying.
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She made some passionate declarations, but I'm still not clear on just how two men or two women in a committed relationship who want to express their committment in front of their friends, their families, and their God, threatens the so-called "sanctity" of heterosexual marriage.
I actually struggled with marriage before I decided to take the plunge. I felt like a hypocrite (there's that word again) for taking place in an institution that denied the most basic human right -- the pursuit of happiness -- to some of my nearest and dearest friends. I still rebel against people conveying status on me just because I took an oath and signed a legal contract.
A few weeks ago an estranged friend of mine contacted me. When we decided to start talking again, he told me exactly why he didn't come to my wedding. He told me that even though he was happy for me, and was thrilled that I'd found someone to love and share my life with, he couldn't make himself take part in something that he and his partner of nine years -- NINE YEARS -- couldn't share in. I was hurt when he told me, but I completely understood his position.
The woman who organized my wedding was one of my oldest friends -- and she's a lesbian. She was there with me through everything, from finding my dress to picking out the flavour for the cake. Her partner was our photographer. After one wedding show, she finally told me that even though was thrilled that I was getting married, every time we went out to do something for my wedding, she felt a little icy stab in her heart, because she and her partner of EIGHT YEARS couldn't take place in this social ritual.
I'm offended that something so basic as expressing one's commitment in MARRIAGE is held over gay people's heads as some sort of untenable, unreachable goal. Marriage is not some silly club where only the best get in. Marriage is not a Fraternity. If two people love each other and have decided to join their lives together legally, socially, romantically, and spiritually, the gender of those people shouldn't matter.
If those people who feel that the "sanctity" of marriage is threatened by gay men and lesbians, perhaps what is really in order is a revisitation of what marriage means in modern society. After all, with a greater than 50% divorce rate and the rise in infidelity and polyamourous relationships, it doesn't seem like us straight folks are doing such a bang-up job on protecting the institution.
Edited to Add: The gay male friend I mentioned above headed to Toronto last weekend to get married -- the day of the blackout! I haven't heard from him, so I'm hoping that they were able to tie the knot this week. They're actually immigrating to Quebec so that their relationship will be legally sanctioned. I can't say I blame them.
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