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I would say that your problem is more with him than his mother. She is picking at you every chance she gets and it sounds like he is allowing it to happen. If he's allowing this now, it will never cease. In a marriage you'll never resolve anything, you learn to agree to disagree on most problems. Can you live with him thinking that she means it in a good way and you shouldn't take this so personally? You may decide to take the high road and let it pass, but I can predict that your self-esteem will go down, you'll be unhappy, and you'll resent him AND her. I know a lot of planning has gone into the wedding, but your finace allowing anyone to make you feel bad (even his mother), seems like a dealbreaker to me.
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