August Book Club: What Becomes of the Brokenhearted by E. Lynn Harris

[kiml122]

I read the book, and all I can say is DAYUM!!!!!

Dude had mad problems going on in his life.

I was really sad as well that his real father died, and he hasn't had contact with his siblings since that time.

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
I was sad as well. I was especially with the dude that had the "gold" benz. Was that Butch? I think his cancer was probably AIDS related.

I'm thinking he could be with ole dude he mentions in the end of the book that "helped" him get everything going with Just as I Am. Wasn't he living with the guy, too? Or helped him to get the office space?

I can't believe he is almost 50.

His dayum stepdaddy was a FOOL!

The dude with the "gold benz" was Richie. I was wondering if his cancer was AIDS related myself. It was sad that Richie died a day after his 40th B-day. It's also sad how Lynn's buddies all died from AIDS, except for Randy, and it's sad that his cause of death is unknown. :frown: Come to think of it, I wonder how his ex-lover Mario died. That man was a trip though.

I wanna know why he didn't mention the name of the fraternity he pledged?

Did he change any names to protect the innocent or not-so-innocent?

I hope he gets to reconnect with his other siblings.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by FeeFee
except for Randy, and it's sad that his cause of death is unknown.

I know, huh?

Come to think of it, I wonder how his ex-lover Mario died. That man was a trip though.

THAT SAPMF!

[1browngirl]

Originally posted by FeeFee
The dude with the "gold benz" was Richie. I was wondering if his cancer was AIDS related myself. It was sad that Richie died a day after his 40th B-day. It's also sad how Lynn's buddies all died from AIDS, except for Randy, and it's sad that his cause of death is unknown. :frown: Come to think of it, I wonder how his ex-lover Mario died. That man was a trip though.

I wanna know why he didn't mention the name of the fraternity he pledged?

Did he change any names to protect the innocent or not-so-innocent?

I hope he gets to reconnect with his other siblings.

He kept writing about the fraternity but never mentioned the name and I was thinking maybe as I got further into the book he'd mention the name, never did, well at least I know now.

Also, didn't he see someone on television that had the same last name as one of his siblings? I can't remember now, but I was thinking if he did why didn't he ever try to contact that person.

Just like everyone else, I hope he reunites with his other siblings too.

[delph998]

Hello Book Clubers! I just got the book, and I'm on page 90somethin'. I will posts the answers to your questions when I'm done reading the book. So far, so good, and I am so blessed because I didn't have to think about half of the things that he went through in my lifetime.

[ladygreek]

I read the whole book yesterday.

The person he saw on TV was a white man, who won an award, with the last name of Jeter. It wasn't that he thought they were related, but he had asked God for a sign and he felt that was one to get him on track again.

I, too hated that his bio father died so soon. Maybe this book will cause his Jeter brothers and sisters to get in touch with him.

I wanted to scream SO NAME THE D**N FRATERNITY. - LOL

I don't think the names were disguised because I think he would have said so in the intro.

I agree that Basil is a composite starting with the DL football player in high school. But I don't think Mario is part of that composite. I think other characters in his books are Mario. But a distraction for me was I kept trying to see if I could match the characters in his other books with the real people.

I don't think Richie's cancer was AIDS related, but maybe so and he didn't want to expose that to protect the family.

As for Randy, I though it was interesting that there was no mention of evidence of a beating, stab wound, or gun shot (unless I missed it,) so it seems like suicide to me. Especially with that "AIDS will be no part of my reality" comment. His lover died of AIDS so it seems logical that Randy had AIDS, too.

What I realized is that his issues were really no different than a straight person's with self-esteem and looking for love in all the wrong places issues. But he had to deal with the extra burden of being homosexual in a homophobic society. Even being Black seemed to be more of a asset than an hinderance because he was in the hey-day of affirmative action.

Last though for now: as a former IBM Systems Engineer and Marketing Rep., I remember that 18 month training period when if you failed the class, you were unemployed. Luckily for him he was hired during the height of IBMs affirmative action hiring or else he would not have gotten those multiple chances.

Now the depression question:
I think that we as a people have not acknowledged depression because we did not know what it was nor did we have the resources to find out. For the longest, even the medical profession looked at it as a character weakeness instead of a medical condition. Add that to the fact that with our slave ancestry essentially being a survival of the fittest, showing any sign of weakness was not to be tolerated. We could all probably look back on the behaviors of certain relatives and realized that they probably suffered from depression.

[ClassyLady]

When Harris' relationship with Mario was relatively new, he wrote that his friends in The Group and Mario did not like each other. His friends thought Mario was using him and Mario thought the same of The Group. Harris kept his relationships with both separate as a result. When Harris learned the truth about Mario, it seemd as if his friends were right all along about Mario being
wrong for him.

Should he have considered his friends' views on Mario a little more seriously? Do you consult your friends when choosing a mate? When it comes to relationships, can your friends see the things that you don't? Can you be truly happy with a person whom your closest friends cannot stand? Is dislike between a mate and friends a sign that one has to go?

[ladygreek]

Been there, done that. Even stayed with a man my own daughter didn't like--and yes, I should have listened to her young, but wise mind.

I imagine there was quite a bit of strain on both sets of relationships. But then Richie and Randy didn't get along either and Harris managed to maintain them both as friends. I think that Lynn's need to be loved was so great that all he wanted, and thought he needed, was people to like him even if they didn't like each other. So he had these multiple sets of relationships.

[carnation]

Lynn was an Alpha Phi Alpha at Arkansas and yes, he dated all the time. None of us on the cheer squad knew he was gay.

[Gina1201]

Originally posted by ClassyLady
When Harris' relationship with Mario was relatively new, he wrote that his friends in The Group and Mario did not like each other. His friends thought Mario was using him and Mario thought the same of The Group. Harris kept his relationships with both separate as a result. When Harris learned the truth about Mario, it seemd as if his friends were right all along about Mario being
wrong for him.

Should he have considered his friends' views on Mario a little more seriously? Do you consult your friends when choosing a mate? When it comes to relationships, can your friends see the things that you don't? Can you be truly happy with a person whom your closest friends cannot stand? Is dislike between a mate and friends a sign that one has to go?

I think that he should have considered what his friends were saying, it would have saved him a lot of headache and heartache. I do consult my friends, with my mom being the ultimate friend. Every boyfrfiend that I have had, until this one, she did not like. It might have taken me a while, but I saw the truth behind what she was saying. I think that people outside of the relationship are able to see things at face value since they are not "blinded" by like, love or lust. However, make sure these are TRUE friends, not ones who are looking out for THEIR best interests. Trust me, I know. But that's another thread for another time.

I don't know if you can be truly happy when your closest friends cannot stand your mate. While compromising is key in any relationship, I think you would have to look at what your mate is giving up also. Dislike is not necessarily a sign that someone has to go.

I'll be back later to discuss this further. I really like this question Classy!!

[ladygreek]

I remember reading on a message board (may have been on here) that Lynn's fraternity has prohibited him from using the frats name. If that is true then that would be why he avoided saying it.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by ladygreek
I remember reading on a message board (may have been on here) that Lynn's fraternity has prohibited him from using the frats name. If that is true then that would be why he avoided saying it.

I heard the same thing as well on a Greek listserve. That saddens me that his brotherhood prohibits him from mentioning what org he belongs to. If Lynn is still a financial member of the brotherhood, I would think Alpha would allow him to say that he is a member. This is why so many of our members keep quiet about their sexuality because they are shunned by others even those who pledged the same org. Keeping quiet is killing a lot of folks; leads to depression, feelings of no self-worth, etc. as E. Lynn mentioned in his memoirs.


Classy, ANOTHER excellent question. . . I have had some friends who dated men who were UGH!! My mother dated, and later married a man, who I wish she hadn't. He did a lot of damage to her, her relationships with my brother and me, etc.

LadyGreek said previously
As for Randy, I though it was interesting that there was no mention of evidence of a beating, stab wound, or gun shot (unless I missed it,) so it seems like suicide to me. Especially with that "AIDS will be no part of my reality" comment. His lover died of AIDS so it seems logical that Randy had AIDS, too.

What I realized is that his issues were really no different than a straight person's with self-esteem and looking for love in all the wrong places issues. But he had to deal with the extra burden of being homosexual in a homophobic society. Even being Black seemed to be more of a asset than an hinderance because he was in the hey-day of affirmative action.

Yeah, I figured Randy committed suicide as well because it seemed very improbable that he would not have contracted the AIDS virus.

I was also curious about Richard's cancer. Maybe at the time it was diagnosed as a cancer, but was probably AIDS related since Richard also messed around with men as well.

His issues were very parallel what heterosexuals go through but his chronicling of his love woes was so deep and intimate that it made him more endearing to me as I read. I wanted him to get out of the cycle of relationships where he allowed himself to be used just to have a man in his life.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
I heard the same thing as well on a Greek listserve. That saddens me that his brotherhood prohibits him from mentioning what org he belongs to. If Lynn is still a financial member of the brotherhood, I would think Alpha would allow him to say that he is a member. This is why so many of our members keep quiet about their sexuality because they are shunned by others even those who pledged the same org. Keeping quiet is killing a lot of folks; leads to depression, feelings of no self-worth, etc. as E. Lynn mentioned in his memoirs.

Is it even POSSIBLE? I guess only an Alpha would know. Seriously, there are many "out" Alphas as well as other fraternity members of XYZ organization. I'm not feeling this AT ALL. It could be a rumor. E. Lynn may choose not to name the org on his own. I hope it's his decision.

[CrimsonTide4]

I meant to post this the day I bought the book. Is it just me or is this the first memoir, autobiography, etc. that had NO pictures in it?!?!?!!?!?!? I look forward to the pictures to help me put faces with names. I would have liked to have known if some of these folks were ALLA DAT like Lynn described them to be.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
I meant to post this the day I bought the book. Is it just me or is this the first memoir, autobiography, etc. that had NO pictures in it?!?!?!!?!?!? I look forward to the pictures to help me put faces with names. I would have liked to have known if some of these folks were ALLA DAT like Lynn described them to be.

Excellent point--that is what was missing-pictures! Especially since he described so many of this friends as good looking, extremely good looking, handsome, extremely handsome, fine, cute, sexy, etc. I want to know if his taste is similar to mine - LOL.

But on the other hand this is the first memoir/autobiography that kept me glued to the pages--hence reading it in one night.

And yes, I am endeared even more to him now, too.