A Question For The Boys

[AXWhoah]

Okay so I was wondering why and how exactly do you pin your girlfriend? (Assuming that you are in a fraternity) Is there a time specific time length you guys need to have been dating before you can even consider it? And do you give her your actual pin or a pledge pin or something entirely different all together? I'd like to hear answers from members from many different fraternities if possible. I know I probably should have done a search but a mix of laziness and boredom led me to just write a new thread so if you have any answers to my questions let me know!

[Tom Earp]

I dont know how much pinning is done in this day and age, but way back when?

If a Brother has dated a girl for a length of time and plans to get engaged to be married, this is done.

He gives his Badge to the lady. It can be done alone between them selves or with a bit of ceremony being attended with the Brothers and Sisters of the ladys Soroity if she is a member of one.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Well, in TKE when a girlfriend is pinned by a member it means that either he has THE ring with it or it will be followed shortly thereafter the pinning. Basically it's a fraternity engagement.

With the pin itself it varies, some chapters view it as symbolic and just gives her a set of his letters, some (like my boyfriend's) give the actual pin to her (hehe..like I have )

Also, some require the member to ask his brothers if she will be allowed to be pinned. Sometimes they will do a test on the girlfriend. Like tieing the member to a tree naked with all sorts of nasty stuff on him. If she comes and "saves" him, she will be able to be pinned, if not, well...no pin for her. At my boyfriend's chapter the member gets thrown in the lake nearby, lol. Plus the girl will be sang to. (very entertaining)

[KSigkid]

I've always thought of pinning as the pre-engagement. If you get his badge, it generally means you're going to get a ring pretty soon as well.

It's a sign that the couple is really serious, serious enough for the guy to give a girl his letters (which is a pretty big step).

At my chapter we had laveleiring(sp?) - we didn't all have badges, so pinning was out of the question, but for us dropping our letters on a girl was just as big.

[kateshort]

Originally posted by AXWhoah
Okay so I was wondering why and how exactly do you pin your girlfriend? (Assuming that you are in a fraternity) Is there a time specific time length you guys need to have been dating before you can even consider it? And do you give her your actual pin or a pledge pin or something entirely different all together? I'd like to hear answers from members from many different fraternities if possible. I know I probably should have done a search but a mix of laziness and boredom led me to just write a new thread so if you have any answers to my questions let me know!

I'm not a boy, but I've been pinned... :P

Different schools and different chapters do things differently. At Valparaiso, the first step was lavaliering. After a couple has been going out for a few months, and they want to be exclusive, the guy would lavalier the girl. Usually, she'd have to have some respect for her guy's fraternity, since she'd be wearing their letters! At Valpo, that's when she got letters. The girl would usually be serenaded outside of her dorm on a Thursday night (for Sinfonians, since that's when they had chorus practive), or at some other time convenient to the fraternity. It was also customary for the frat to have a lavaliering party (if she was greek, then it would be a joint party; if not, it would be closed except to brothers and the couple's friends-- but the party policy has changed a LOT in the past few years). I was lavaliered on our ten-month anniversary. He brought it up in a letter that summer, and then did it that October.

If they're really serious, having gone out for probably over a year (or close to graduation), then he'd consider pinning her. This was a lot more rare. And yes, at Valpo, she got *the* pin. (Pledges usually don't keep their pledge pins; obviously, you'd need to be a full brother and not just a pledge to even lavalier her.) I was pinned ... gee. I think it was our two-year anniversary, but might have been our three-year. I can't remember. But around midnight, in the dorm lounge, I got the pin. And yes, I wore it to Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia musicale and other musical performances that I dressed up to attend. (I'd actually pinned him with a pin from my then-local sorority, but then, I also proposed.) As with lavaliering, there's often a serenade and a party.

Engagement is step three, depending on the guy and the school. If they've only been lavaliered for a little while, he may just skip to engagement. Then again, I know of one guy (can't remember if he was a sinfonian or not) who, at a party, lavaliered his girlfriend (pause for first serenade song), then pinned her (song #2), and then pulled out The Ring. -grin-

If your chapter still hazes brothers who get pinned or lavaliered, just be careful. Buying a keg (or putting up the money for the same) is one thing; being tied to a tree upside down and covered with crap or being thrown in the river is quite another.

Like I said, at Valpo you got letters at lavaliering, so it was more of a going-steady-with-a-chick-that-supports-my-brotherhood thing than a pre-engagement. Pinning was definitely seen as a serious pre-marriage kind of step-- the ring might not show up for a year or two, but the long-term desire is there.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by kateshort
Engagement is step three, depending on the guy and the school. If they've only been lavaliered for a little while, he may just skip to engagement. Then again, I know of one guy (can't remember if he was a sinfonian or not) who, at a party, lavaliered his girlfriend (pause for first serenade song), then pinned her (song #2), and then pulled out The Ring. -grin-

That guy has his stuff together! I know at most chapters at Platteville it was really serious - I was told I was too young to be pinned, which meant it would be coming with the ring.

[EM1843]

For my chapter lavaliering is serious because you are giving our letters to a girl who will then represent us. Most people wait at least one year. There also are promise rings and such but for pinning a Lambda Chi should use the friendship pen if the couple is not engaged, because that is what it was created for. After engadgement, a brotherhood badge, and all it's meaning can be given to the fiance.

[rocketaxid]

These are my campus "unspoken rules" on this topic

If you date a boy not in a fraturnity seriously he buys you a pearl (aka pearling)

If you date a boy in a fraturnity seriously he lavilears you (different chapters do it different ways and most do not haze for this some do, as in you take a dip in th fountain)

Pinning is pre-engagement, and taken very seriously

Originally posted by kateshort
If your chapter still hazes brothers who get pinned or lavaliered, just be careful. Buying a keg (or putting up the money for the same) is one thing; being tied to a tree upside down and covered with crap or being thrown in the river is quite another.

And yes the boys are usually, "harrased" for this. They are not thrown in the river here, it used to happen but had to stop when the river was labeled contaminated. Yes the river in the middle on campus has big signs around it warning you not to get near the water.. I hear it's almost considered safe again...

So instead the boys are stripped down to their boxers and saran wrapped to a tree in the village and given a pair of goggles, and showered in all kinds of things, mostly gross food from his chapters refrigerator. The boy remains wrapped to the tree until the girl he pinned comes to his rescue. Traditionally before she can cut him down she has to kiss him.

A friend of mine was there a long time, they caught him on a night his girl was at a Dave Matthews concert and he was there for like six hours ( note, this was not done on purpose, she went at the last minute and his brothers didn't know she was gone) The girls are usually in on it by either telling the boys chapter or telling his chapter where he can be found.

I know your all thinking the big H word but no one is forced to do this against their will and they all know this happens if they pin her, it's not a seceret. If we know it's going to happen a fair number of people come out to watch.

[Kevin]

In Sigma Nu, the only folks besides the Brother eligible to wear the badge are his mother, wife, sister, fiancee or daughter. If you get *engaged* it's appropriate to pin the girl. If you're just pre-engagement, you opt for lavaliering.

Since my undergrad chapter has only been around since 2002, they don't really have much of a tradition here that I'm aware of, although different guys have done it in different ways.

A good story:

One of our brothers had been dating a girl for awhile and never really taken her on a real *date*. So, he took her down to Bricktown (nice area in OKC, lots of restaurants, bars, clubs, etc... and a riverwalk). Nearly the entire chapter came down (she had no idea). They walked down one side of the riverwalk at the appointed time. We serenaded them with Green Day's "Time of Your Life" -- I played the violin solo on my violin (what else would I play it on?).

That's probably the best lavaliering story I have anyhow.

Whenever we could work my fiddle into serenades, I was a popular guy on campus for a few days afterwards