Ghetto Wedding Stories

[kiml122]

I must say that I have never been to a ghetto wedding...oops unless you count the one I went to about 2 years ago.

The bride was a friend of mine from grade school. I get to the chuch and I see one of my girlfriends sitting on the grooms side. I walk over and was like why you sitting over here. She and her mom were like we felt sorry for the groom because no one was on his side. So I sat over there with them. It was the 3 of us and that was it. Finally the groom gets to the church and a few more of his peeps show up, but not that many.

The bride is late, we find out later that the bride and bridesmaids are in a limo and it had broken down. The bridesmaids dresses were truly,can u say U-G-L-Y.

Once we are at the reception, which was held at another church (why not just have it at the church where the wedding was).

I'm looking for some hors d'oeuvre (sp) because that wedding was way to long and a sista is a little hungry. I talking to the peeps at my table because we all knew each other, and come to find out, the hors d'oeuvres were some mints that were on the table. You know the mints that they put out at Christmas that are different colors. You know the ones that melt in your mouth.

Well next comes the food, did I mention that we ate off plastic plates. Did I mention that the juice fountain ran out of juice. Did I also mention that they started running out of food before everyone was out of the buffet line.

Did I mention that when the bride was dancing with her father and the groom was dancing with his mom, she (his mom) had on big fuzzy slippers her feet hurt y'all.

Did I also mention that the groom was walking around the reception with the brides veil on his head talking bout " he rides motorcycles" vroom,vroom, I swear y'all he was going vroom, vroom. Last but not least, did I mention when we went to look at the groom's ring, the ring didn't fit and he had it on his pinky finger. I'm sorry, but it didn't even go all the way on his pinky finger.

Okay, that's all, but that is enuf!!

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Peace
KL

[Inquisitive]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
REAL GHETTO!

LOL

[Diamon]

Okay..**wiping the tears from my eyes** I think I might have a lil' som'in to add. BTW, NUPE4LIFE, I think you and I attended a few of the same weddings. I have been to a few ghetto weddings BUT picutre this..... (Mother's Day)....

1. We were sitting in this SMALL church waiting for 2 1/2 hours for the ceremony to begin. The bride had 15 attendants and so did the groom in this S-M-A-L-L church. The church was so small that the wedding party did not even have room to fully march down the aisle before they were bumping into other participants coming from a different direction. Once they were in line, the attendants were in the front and wrapped around the side aisle.

2. The maid of honor (one of the bride's sisters) decided that she wanted to wear the same backless, around the neck dress that everyone else was wearing...did I mention she's a good 320-350 lbs.....oops!

3. The church was so small, the ushers kept pushing my husband and I up closer until my husband was sitting where? ON THE SAME ROW AS THE GROOM'S MOTHER.

4. This wedding had an MC also

5. The pastor (bride's godfather) had on much ghetto gold and a sharkskin suit with a process.

6. One of the bridesmaids obviously forgot where she was and decided to give the bride a shout out in the middle of the ceremony
" You go (so and so)!!!"

7. But the ultimate was when the bride's brother so proudly pulled out the movie screen and slide projector in the middle of this SMALL church and showed all of these GHETTO pictures of the bride and groom..yes the jail pose, the hooch pose (w/ the miniskirt and legs crossed), and the infamous pictures in front of the airbrushed sheets of cars, Mickey Mouse, etc. By then I was no more good!!!!!!! I could not hold in the laughter anymore.

8. Oh gosh, I forgot...once the wedding was over. We all filed outside and what did we see...7 stretch limos outside!!!!!

[ZChi4Life]

Originally posted by NUPE4LIFE:
Oh yeah, I forgot the most ghetto piece of information. During the reception, the groom's brothers did a toast. They were saying how they were gonna miss their brother. They said and I quote, "we use to be a trio, now we're a twoo" that's two-o! I didn't think that was a word at all. Man by this point I had completely lost it. And yes I can agree with the sister who said how much they prayed. I was like damn, if this man prays one more time I'm gonna die. There was so much ghettoness that I'm sure I'm missing something so I'll try to remember some of it.

A TWOO?? LOL!!! That is hilarious!! I've heard it all now!

[toocute]

Originally posted by hope01:
There was only one limo, a stretch Navigator for 20 people (the bride, her mom, the groom, his mom and the wedding party)

Why do they pay so much for these limo Navigators and Hummers and then have no FOOD!
Why is thread 2 pages long? Why are tears in my eyes from laughing so hard? Why did I come home from work and log on to see if any more ghettoness was posted!!! Mamabuda yours takes the cake. Woo.

[DELTABRAT]

Okay:

My friend from college had a very beautiful wedding. It was an AFrican Wedding (attire and traditions). Well all was well, but then it got ghetto.

AT the reception the bride and groom were served. Mind you there were no hors d'ourves. Well everyone was patient, then after about half an hour folx got suspicious. When her maid of honor inquired as to when (at least) the wedding party would be served, she said they weren't eating. Only the bride and groom were. WHAT? I was hot. I have never heard of this before.

Okay, I'm done.

BTW, two-o is a word...if you're GHETTOOOOOOOOOOOO

[PrettyPetite]

Originally posted by MaMaBuddha:
hey sistah friends and guys...

nupe4life....

i feel all ghetto-ostracized cause i am a product of the a few ghetto weddings...

this past november i was selected as the mc (mistress of ceremonies) for my best friends wedding in miami, florida.

now miami happens to the the ghettoiest city out of all the states besides new orleans, nyc, la and the other little country towns that lurk...gold teeth, leather shorts and all.

i had the pleasure of witnessing trick daddy and trina (friends of the groom) drop by and pay homage in a drop top benz, blasting that florida song get f*cked up*
for all those dade county people.

i had the pleasure to witness the groom and his part pimp strut down the aisle to a slow jam (i can't remember the name of it for the life of me)

i had the pleasure of witnessing the wedding party except the bride and groom getting drunk off henny, cisco (yes they had cisco) and remy in the back seat of a hummer limo.

i had the pleasure of watching a whole bunch of drunk groom's men (all with gold and platinum teeth) acting up when I was announcing the wedding party. then the dj, blasted ever single one of luke skywalker songs that have been banned all over the place....needless to say the families were appalled. but all the little kids rushed to the dance floor and were doing the latest bootie hump.

we won't even get into hair styles...cause a few horses were running around dag near bucket naked freezing in Miami.....


this has me laughing hysterically...

but i have to say i love my ghetto folks...they keep it real.


Theeeee MaMaBuddha

that DEFINITELY sounds like a wedding my ghettofabulous miami folks would throw....LMBAO

[NUPE4LIFE]

Reading all these posts, make me realize that I have been to other ghetto affairs. Okay get this peeps, one of my grandmother's god daughters got married the summer of '99. I love this women to death, she's like an aunt to me. But let me just say that she's almost 50 years old and has been married 5 times. She had a wedding like she was a 20 something bride getting married for the first time. Can we say that she was a little too old and have been around the block too many times for this. And instead of gifts for her and the bride, they asked from their dear friends and family members food for the reception. I SWEAR TO GOD! I am not making this up. I know you guys are like, N4L you have got to be lying. I'm not. I guess I know too many ghetto people. I repeat, INSTEAD OF WEDDING GIFTS, THEY ASKED FOR FOOD FOR THE RECEPTION! I hate going to weddings where you know they trying to have a royal wedding on a food stamp budget. People let's get it together. Either you're gonna have a very small and cheap wedding and a nice reception, or a large wedding and a small reception for family and friends. Don't try to be big time when you know you can't.

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA

[MaMaBuddha]

a twoo....

whoa that is deep.

nothing is as ghetto as someone stating in their vows:

"you finna be my wife for the rest of my life"

yes i am proud to say i participated in many ghetto weddings....and will in the future, i make a fantastic MC.

from the pimp stuts by the groom down the aisle to the gold teeth and bumpin' stretch limos to the reverend praising the lord for an hour and a half before he gets on with the wedding.

but let me tell you what takes the cake...

*i am about to get ghettoified*

what the the favorite dance at all weddings???

the electric slide, of course

now whenever the dj puts on one of those songs you can do the electric slide, too. why does everybody bumrush the floor...old people included. then you always have that one old man dressed like dolomite from back in the days...we'll call him "sugar daddy" that follows you around saying "hey there girl, i can do that too, see!"

then of course getting back to the electic slide...can i tell you there are about 1913 different versions of the electric slide. i swear i can't keep up.


but do you really really really want to know what takes the cake????

sitting in the pew at church and watching a flower girl about the size of a gorilla (Alpha's no pun intended) pelt flowers down the aisle. i swear this little girl was 10 but bigger than me and i stand a cool 5'7.
(it must be something in the water because kids now and days are big as hell)


should i be ashamed...i think not!

proud of my ghetto ancestry...

MaMaBuddha
_______________

you too can be ghetto.....


[This message has been edited by MaMaBuddha (edited January 07, 2001).]

[Eclipse]

Hoooo Y'all have truly had me cracking up on here!! I have not laughed this hard on GreekChat since the thread "You know you go to a Black church when..." Matter of fact, I may have to look that one up again.

Say what you will though, ghetto or not, at least folks are trying to do the right thing by getting married and not just shackin'!

Hey, have any of you see the pictures that are making the rounds with the bride in the Red dress with white fur for trim and the groom in the white tails and red bow tie and cummerbund? They were toooo funny. There was one picture of them toasting each other with those huge champagne glasses that you could win at an amusement park back in the day and folks would display in their houses. I wish I had saved them!!

[Classy_Diva5]

Another ghetto wedding episode....

The couple got married this past summer. They invited the whole church congregation to the wedding and allowed them to each bring a guest. With the bridal party included, only 30 people were at the ceremony!!

At the reception (which was held at a rec center in the ghetto part of town)-you had to park ya car about 3 blocks away cause all the junk cars took the closer parking spots.
The decorations included the following:
1) Cafeteria tables (can we say CHEAP?!) nad metal fold out chairs
2) Plastic tablecloths (one ones that you can buy at the .99 store)
3) Confetti, Miniature Snickers bars and Agendas (yes, AGENDAS) served as the table decorations
4) Good ole' after Sunday service food was served, and they ran out of food when it was time to serve the last couple of tables
5) The DJ served up a MEGA-MIX at the reception-all the guests (the junior bridesmaids included) was "droppin it like it was HOT"
6) Neither the bride nor the grooms parents had any good words to say about the union of their children
7) (here's what KILLED ME) Only 8-YES 8 gifts were on the gift table....now, if there are like 30 people at the reception, then why didn't everyone bring a gift???
8) The guests were taking home the leftover bottles of champagne

Nuff said...that was a waste of time, money, and energy!!

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"Mind ya own, stay true to ya own, be ya own."
Peace and God Bless
Classy_Diva5

[PinkCashmere]

Let's just say that when I get married I will definitely make sure that there are no ghetto elements included.

Here's another story:

The couple had their reception at the church and had the dj play ghetto fabulous booty shake music. When we got into the hall, the food was not ready and the decorations weren't all put up yet. After hearing the music that was being played I left.

One more:

A couple of days before the wedding the bride's crazy, ghetto ex-boyfriend let it be known that the wedding wouldn't take place because he was going to come and break it up at the church. So, the bride had her male cousins acting as guards by all the doors of the church. It was crazy.

Oh yeah one more:

Why did the bride feel it necessary to include EVERY one of her and the groom's relatives in the bridal party? Why did the bridal party have to stand in the choir area and part of the outer aisles of the church because there was so many of them. Too funny!

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Don't just talk about it...Be about it!

[PinkCashmere]

One more:

MaMabuddah here's competition for your flower girl story. I went to a wedding where the ring bearer was 16 and stood over 6'3. Why did he even agree to do that? Anyway, when he walked down the aisle the entire church was in tears from laughing so hard!

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Don't just talk about it...Be about it!

[Mz. Sports Luva]

I'm at work crying I'm laughing so hard.

Eclipse: I've seen those wedding pictures and they are HILARIOUS.

Originally posted by PinkCashmere:
One more:

MaMabuddah here's competition for your flower girl story. I went to a wedding where the ring bearer was 16 and stood over 6'3. Why did he even agree to do that? Anyway, when he walked down the aisle the entire church was in tears from laughing so hard!

[casualty08]

Ok yall, I have two examples of a ghetto weddings that I had attended within a span of a month.

Wedding #1 The wedding was suppose to start at 3:30, the groom showed up at the church at 3:30 with a t-shirt and shorts on. The wedding programs were suppose to be handed out when we walked in, yall the hostesses passed them out while were already seated. I don't know why all of a sudden the new craze is to have mime dancers at weddings all of a sudden. Anyway while the wedding ceremony was going on the preacher told the groom do you take baby girl to be your wife. Come on now, baby girl. The ceremony was backwords with the preacher telling them about jumping the broom at the beginning of the ceremony.

The reception was another story. They decided to do the toast while people were still getting their food and they cut the cake while people were still eating and or were on the dance floor.

Wedding #2 I knew this wedding was going to be ghetto when the church was built next to a liquer store. From what I heard from one of the groomsmen, the bridesmaids were mad because they couldn't dip and twirl down the aisle. You could tell that the two families didn't congregate with each other. Some of the bride's relatives looked like wannabe pimps and some of the female relatives had on prom dresses.

Please don't ask about the reception, lets just say ghetto.