Both of my parents' fathers were Baptist ministers on the East Coast, so they were truly "raised in the church." Strangely, however, they were never comfortable in the Baptist churches in California (where they ended up settling 30 years ago). They said the preaching style of Baptist ministers in California was far different from what they grew up with and they no longer had any urge to spend all of their time in church (I guess they had gotten an overload as children). 3 hour services were far too long. Therefore, although we went to a Baptist church, we were not involved in any activities other than going to church on Sunday and my parents were constantly criticizing the minister, the parishoners, and even the beliefs of the church.
I don't think their questioning of beliefs came from their childhoods, but they simply were, as adults, beginning to question fundamental Christian principals. In fact, they would tell me, when we got home from church, to take it all with a grain of salt. Yet, they stayed in the Baptist church for many years and hid their true beliefs - strange, yes, but I don't think this is all that uncommon. Converting to anything that's not Christian can be, as a previous poster said, psychologically damaging. Old friends look at you like:
Anyway, I stopped going to church the minute I left home - it was all just a formality and my social life was elsewhere. As a parent, though, I felt I had to ground my children somehow in some type of religious training because, no matter how confusing my experience was, I cannot say it was worthless. At least I was given some type of spiritual, if not religious, foundation.
I, ofcourse, started my quest with the Baptist church. I probably would have stayed and done the exact same thing my parents did, but my husband's family is Jehovah's witness and he leans toward that direction. He is unimpressed by the loooong services and "antics" of some Baptist preachers, so I told him we could go to a Jehovah's witness Hall and check that out. We went for a few weeks and I actually thought it was OK, until this man jumped up in front of the church and started saying that if you're not Jehovah's Witness, you're going to hell; it's wrong to have friends who aren't witnesses, etc., etc. That was the last time I stepped foot inside a Witness's Hall. The one thing I was impressed with, though, was that the church was so ethnically diverse. Unlike other religions where people are separated by their ethnicity (i.e. White Baptist/Black Baptist), there is no segregation among Witnesses (that I've seen). This extends to marriage partners, too. Kind of refreshing.
From there we explored Unitarian (seemed like kind of a non-religion) and a few more religions, which we could not agree on and neither of us really cared enough about them to push the issue. Finally, my Mom invited me to her new church (she had finally broken away from Baptist), which was Religious Science. Religious Science is a mixture of the best of all religions, but is not Christian. The beliefs of Religious Scientists lean more toward Buddhism/Taoism and even Judaism and Muslim than toward Christianity. My husband had all but given up by this time, so I went by myself. I was a convert at my first service.
Now, I feel like I've found a spiritual home, but I'm not sure about a Church home. I know, what do I mean by this? Aren't they one and the same thing? Well, I don't know. Honestly, I think children should grow up with a little more structure than Religious Science offers. They need some black/white thinking for a little while; maybe it will make their lives easier when it comes to those tough teenage years - or maybe they will just feel judged, I dunno. Religious Science has very few parameters. So, although I go to a Religious Science church, it feeds my soul, and I encourage my children to practice meditation, affirmations, etc., I'm still looking for something to augment what I'm doing now.
Plus, my husband, who will not claim Jehovah's Witness and hardly ever goes to the Hall, thinks I'm an Heretic and making our children into little Heretics because I'm not Christian. He says very little since he's not exactly devout, but I would like to augment my spiritual life with something that he can feel more comfortable with being a part of. At this point, he would probably be ecstatic if I wanted to go back to Baptist again (LOL)!
So, I've converted from Baptist to Religious Science, but I'm still searching for "more."
Question for you: What do you think about structure, parameters and dogma in the church? Are they/can they be helpful, or do they cause too much shame and guilt to be good? (Soror Ideal, if this question is going to "hijack" your topic, please feel free to delete it.)
Sorry for such a long message. This a very interesting topic!
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