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Keep being your sweet, kind self to her. Looks like she is looking for a reason to have your brother distance himself from the family. If you do anything but what you have already done, she will use it as a reason to not be around your family (which means you would probably see your brother less). I'm definately not saying kiss her butt, but continue to be nice to her.
If she is that spoiled, your brother either knows it and accepts it, or is in for a rude awakening! How long before the wedding?
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