what's the funniest thing you've ever heard a drunk person say?

[CardinalSM]

My pledge sister after knocking over the over the toiler shelf in my bathroom: "Damnit, the tampons are viciously attacking me! Save me from tampon death!"

Another friend "Ooooh watch that guy dance! He makes my ears tingle!"

A guy friend " Hey, will you go get me another Vodberry and Cranka?"

Walking into the dorm one night, another pledge sister:"Shit! look at that squirrel with his rabid eyes, he is thinking where do I bite her, how do I kill her? He is going to attack me tonight while I am sleeping, you know. I will be dead tomorrow."