1 N A million, from the words in your post
'I must do what I know I HAVE to do!' you seem to know what needs to be done, but you seem to be asking for permission. I don't have much advice except to piggy back on what Eclipse stated, gurl PRAY on it ... I am learning to lean on the lord more.
But do enlighten us on why you think your man, or Christ does not want you in a close relationship with the other (I am a little stuck on who he is too).
Sisterly
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